My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Archives for July 2013

Ashlyn’s first business class {courtesy of Disney dreaming}

When Deb gave her a $25 gift card to Michaels, I don’t think she knew she was giving funds for a business start up.

$25 got her 5/8″ wooden beads, some black cords, a basket full of acrylic paints, a package of brushes, and a can of paint sealer.

disney necklace ashlyn painting

When my 9-year-old imagineer designed a Disney masterpiece on a string that we all wanted, I suggested she try managing her own business.

Since she is my yard-sale loving, lemonade-stand entrepreneur, it took about 10 seconds for her to agree and a whole lot longer for me to photograph and set the whole deal up for her that is now Bead It For Disney.

But, as of a few minutes ago, she’s ready to rock and roll with her new business with a lofty goal of selling 10 necklaces.

She way underestimates her craftiness, I think. I just donated 40 vellum envelopes and labels to package these babies up nicely. Who knows. Thinking big…as are her brothers who have applied to run her shipping department for a cut of the profits.

Disney necklace 3 beads 1Disney necklace 5 beads 2

disney necklace ashlyn smiling watermarked

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About a boy {a glimpse into the experience of advocating}

I introduced him as Bo right before Christmas. People shared the post as they do. But, most families were spending their time wrapping gifts and baking cookies. But, just when the holidays were over, we got an update on him. I still remember opening those pictures for the first time and seeing his beautiful big eyes and silky looking skin. When I posted about him again in January, I was sure his family would find him. I was all ready for emails to start coming in. I got a lot of emails, but not many had anything to do with this boy.

I did all I knew to do. I contacted the United States’ leading specialist in his joint condition to have him review his file. I contacted families with children with the same diagnosis, asking them to tell me more about what day-to-day life is like parenting a child with this need, asking if they’d be willing to talk to families considering adopting him. I posted the links everywhere I could. Friends joined me and posted about him on their blogs.

And, I waited; he waited.

Days. Weeks. Months. I kept his picture on my sidebar; but, to be honest, I had sort of lost hope. I second guessed my initial excitement, all my efforts. No one wanted him. His crib sheet in his update picture had the words “Happy 2008,” just another reminder of stale expectations.I felt defeated and wondered how long I should keep his picture up. His beautiful eyes gazing at me every time I posted on my blog reminded me of every child who waits and no one even knows they are waiting. I didn’t want that reminder anymore.

About 4 months later, an email showed up in my inbox with the subject line “About a boy…”

…God has been hard at work in my heart for special needs adoption! I tumbled across your blog from some links from other blogs…and I saw dear Bo….If Bo is still waiting, would you send me information about him? I will pray first, “Lord, us??” and if it is a no, I will pray “Lord, find his loving family!”
Blessings!
Amy

I forwarded her everything I had–all the pictures, the update, the review from the specialist. And, honestly, I didn’t think all that much about it after I hit send. I’d done this before. No one wanted him.

But, this time, a flurry of emails ensued.

PRAYING!!!! He seems so perfect! NO ONE WANTS HIM!?!?!??!?!

She asked me to pray with her; she was going to talk to her husband about him in a few days. Another email came; she decided not to wait; she’d talk to him that night.

A few days later, nearly 5 months after I first advocated for Bo, I got this —

Oh dear Kelly!!!
I am shaking with excitement!!! God has spoken to us and we are going to MOVE FORWARD ON BO!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, my Bo became their Toby.

In seeking the best for their son, they decided to see that leading specialist who happens to have his practice only miles from where we live which meant I got a very special gift.

Advocating works

Over lo mein in Chinatown, Amy asked what it was like to be with him, to sit right there across the table from Bo. 

I struggled over the words as I still struggle now. I had wanted to take his picture down; I’m so glad I didn’t. The same eyes that I had wanted to shield on the screen in front of me now were directly in front of me with a message entirely different—hope restored even when things seem desperate and irreconcilable, anticipation of good things to come when there doesn’t seem to be any good at all, the blessing of stepping out to do something maybe just a little bit crazy like make a child you don’t know who has a special need hardly anyone has even heard of who lives in a foreign land your own child.

Adoption.

Toby Collage

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What I’m doing {Visiting Orphans}

There are times when God’s hand is moving in such a tangible way that you know that turning another direction from the one you’re witnessing unfold in front of you would be disobedient.

That’s where I am, where we are.

We love China. For several months, we’ve been building our support team so we can serve students in China formally. And, God has been providing and equipping and moving. We love adoption and adoptive families and have walked steps directed by Him to grow The Sparrow Fund so that we can pour into them and mobilize them to understand what more about what it means love their kids well.

And, things are falling together in front of us, in spite of us really.

The Sparrow Fund is now partnering with Visiting Orphans to do something special that we’ve only dreamed about doing—taking a team of people this March into a Chinese orphanage to serve the children who wait and the staff who care for them.

It’s not about us. It’s not about a feel-good trip so that we can check off our proverbial James 1:27 box in our conscience. It’s about mobilizing people to change the world through going, being, loving. I know that I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. And, you can too. Let me know if you want to be a part of this.

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The post I want to read

Having a little trouble sleeping tonight. It’s because I napped today. So, here I am in bed with my laptop in front of me as my husband is sound asleep beside me. Naps are worse than an afternoon coffee.

As I do the 2013 version of counting sheep (surfing blogs), I’m realizing that I’m subconsciously looking for a post tonight that simply does. not. exist. anywhere. And, for the life of me, I’m wondering why the heck not. I’m looking for a post…oh…somewhere along the lines of the-summer-disorganization-and-constantly-full-sink-is-giving-me-hives or I-really-wish-my-kids-would-sleep-in-longer-so-that-I-can-actually-taste-the-coffee-I-need-in-the-morning-rather-than-drink-it-like-it’s-a-shot-of-vodka or someone-please-remind-me-that-these-creatures-living-in-my-home-completely-dependent-on-me-are-a-blessing or yes-I-absolutely-did-give-my-children-free-license-on-wii-so-that-I-could-take-a-very-long-afternoon-nap. 

hiWhere are they? Instead, all I can find right now are posts about awesome looking recipes out of my budget or motivation to make, Pinteresting crafts that make me say “good for them,” and words that sound like they could be an autobiography from the Proverbs 31 woman (you know she would have been a blogger and had a massive Pinterest following had they been around in 900 B.C.).

Since all those Proverbs 31 women don’t seem to be writing with me in mind this week, I’ll write a few words for myself and the rest of us. They aren’t inspiring words really. And, this post won’t be one that is shared on facebook or tweeted out with the hashtag #mustread.

This mom stuff? It’s not easy. We may have some shining, proud Pinnable moments of fancy birthday cupcakes or clever road-trip games. But, the day after we share them, we’re just normal moms again with kids who never seem to  get enough of us and hearts and schedules divided into too many slices of our blogworthy pie. We have moments of yeah-that-was-a-good-teachable-moment mixed in with seemingly more moments of I’m-glad-no-one-was-with-me-to-witness-that-mom-fail. We ask ourselves, “Is this normal?” But, we’re smart, you know; we know exactly where to turn with our questions—our iPhones—which leads us to think, “Maybe I am the only one because Suzyblogger and JillTweeter are posting about selecting wool and flax and bringing their food from afar while our dinner tonight is likely going to be from a box in my freezer if I can even find one. Does that count as from afar?”

If you’re up late reading this tonight because you gave your kids a little too much screen time so that you could escape for a nap today like me, well done. We’re a little more sane tonight than we would have been had we made another cup of coffee and muscled through painting and stringing wooden beads.

And, while I can’t tell you you’re normal because there’s simply not enough data out there to warrant the use of the term, what I can tell is you’re not alone (clearly, since I’m still up writing this silly post as self-therapy to ease my own conscience).

Tomorrow’s a new day full of hope of a new beginning and less than 105-degree heat in our unairconditioned home. I’ll likely need a second cup of coffee to compensate for this late night which may make me want to grab another nap while some of you are teaching your 4 year olds to read or cook or design cathedrals. Whatever. I’m good if my four brush their teeth without me reminding them more than once and I don’t look at my husband with those eyes that say seriously?-can-you-take-this-issue-on-because-we-may-have-a-REAL-problem-if-I-have-to-handle-this-one.

Good night, moms like me…wherever you are.

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