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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Archives for July 2013

My to-do list

7.16.13

They’re pretty much everywhere. If they aren’t scribbled quickly between lines on a page, they’re scribbled quickly in my head or in the form of mail littering my dining room table or wooden play food put away all wrong in the play kitchen.

Hello, Kelly. Don’t forget about me. Add me to your list. 

The tone of a new text message or that mocks me in the form of a loud vibration that is full of sound when my need to tune out leads me to turn off the sound. The kind reminder to do laundry in the form of someone yelling about not having a clean towel for the pool. The alarm clocks for lunch time that sound remarkably like 4 children’s voices in unison saying, “I’m hungry. I’m hungry. I’m hungry.”

I feel like I can become enslaved to a to-do list, a list made up in part with living beings that I named myself.

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

There’s a list on my frig. The words are made up of faded red color ink though I think they started as black. It isn’t special paper and has often lost its prominent place to a Star Wars drawing, field trip permission slip, library story time schedule. But, when those things get shuffled as they always do, this list always stayed.

It reads:

Make the gospel apparent.

Guide.

Warn.

Cheer.

My alarm clocks are all asleep now. And, it’s fairly quite aside from the cries of our air conditioner window unit fighting a losing battle. And, I’m saying right here on this space to whoever is out there, there’s my to-do list.

Tomorrow, beds won’t make themselves and there won’t be any magical lego magnet corraling those babies off my basement floor. But, this mama? I’m going to make the gospel apparent. I’m going to guide, warn, and cheer. And, while I’m at it, I may feed a few hungry mouths and answer a few of my emails in the process. We’ll see.

gospel list

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: daily life

Yes, my 4-year-old still takes a bottle

7.10.13

bottle feeding

At 12 1/2 months old, most mothers are training their babies to take a sippy cup.

When our daughter was 12 1/2 months old, we were training her how to take a bottle from us. Of course, we got nothing but support—she needed the nutrition, she needed the closeness, we needed the closeness, it fostered attachment both ways. No one questioned it.

A year later, at a chronological age of 2 with a family age of 1, maybe some people thought it odd that she still took a bottle several times a day. Being so teeny though, most people didn’t think twice about the bottle coddling going on.

Now, she’s 4…actually, 4 1/3 to be exact. And, yes, while her family age is behind that, it too is now 3 1/3.

bottle feeding 2

Every morning, this little one stumbles into our bedroom, wiping the sleep from her eyes, often with her “ren ren” (aka her most precious blanket friend ever). She climbs into bed between us, gets real close to one of our faces, and says, “Can I have a hot big bottle?”

And, every morning, one of us comes downstairs, searching for one of only 3 functional bottles we have left and give her exactly what she wants. She lays calmly in our bed and slowly sucks down a bottle of warm rice milk as she has done since soon after she came home 3 years ago. Most days, she wants another one in the afternoon when she’s feeling tired. And, she’ll predictably ask for one when she’s upset or is anxious or is just not feeling good. And, I give it to her. Then, every night before bed, she wants one more.

bottle feeding 3

Seems a little strange to give a 4-year-old a bottle still, I know. While she never is a public drinker, I’m sure if she were, we’d turn a few heads. But, here’s the thing—I. don’t. care.

For the first year of her life, arguably the most critical development time for a human being, she was not fed on demand. She was fed on a schedule, because that’s they way things work when you have lots of babies and few caregivers. What should have been comfort-giving early on likely became a race to get as much as she could before it was taken away.

One day, she’ll say to me in a tired voice, “I want my hot big bottle” as she lays on my shoulder, and someone will say, “A bottle? You don’t want a bottle. Only babies drink bottles!” At some point, she’ll hear it one too many times and decide she can’t drink a bottle anymore. But, until that day, when she tells me she’s too big for a bottle, I’ll keep stumbling downstairs to our kitchen, looking to see if any of the 3 bottles are clean to make one for her. And, I’ll hand it to her and watch her quietly drink it as she plays with my covers.

It brings her comfort, makes her feel safe, makes her feel protected, and reminds her that we’ll give her whatever she needs. Yes, my 4-year-old still takes a bottle.

bottle feeding 4

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, attachment, Lydia

{must have} Honeydew Bubble Tea

7.4.13

Honeydew bubble tea

After splurging on a a ridiculously priced tapioca drink, I was determined to figure out how to make it myself.

I did. And, now I can’t stop. Not only have I already made a batch today (which is now gone), but I volunteered to bring a batch to a picnic tonight.

Since anyone with an obsession loves company, I’m sharing a how-to here.

Here’s the basics of what you need for 4 servings:
1/4 cut-up honeydew
1 cup green tea made from normal green tea bags from the grocery store
1/2 cup milk
2 Tbl. Splenda
Crushed ice
1/2 cup dried Boba pearls (more about these in a bit)
1 teas. brown sugar
Jumbo straws (for smoothies or specifically for boba/bubble tea, I got mine at Walmart–a box of 40 for $1.98)
Can of whipped cream for the top to make it extra special

Step 1: Hunt down Boba pearls. They gotta be the jumbo marbly looking tapioca pearls (which frankly look really weird uncooked). I found mine at a Chinese market nearby. They had several different colors but the lady suggested these to me. The big ole bag will last a long time as a 1/2 cup of them is enough for 4 drinks. The bag cost me a little over $4.

boba pearls

Step 2: Boil water and steep 1 cup of water with a green tea bag. Let it steep for maybe 10-15 minutes and then put it in the frig. Think ahead and do this before you have the hankering for the drink as it really should be cold or at least cool. Maybe a little bit in the freezer will do the trick if you are short on time.

Step 3: Cut up 1/4 of a honeydew and put in the blender until it’s fully pureed then put that in the frig too. (note: don’t wash the blender, you’ll use it later)

bubble tea

Step 4: Pour the green tea into the honeydew puree and add 1/2 cup of milk and 2 Tbl. Splenda

Step 5: Boil a small pot of water. Measure out 1/2 cup boba pearls and add to the water when it is rapidly boiling. Set your timer for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, turn off heat and cover and let simmer for another 5 minutes. Carefully drain and put the jelly, marble-like pearls into a bowl. Sprinkle about a teaspoon of brown sugar over them to sweeten them a bit and help keep them soft. Put them in the frig to cool a little while you do the next step.

how to make bubble tea

Step 6: (all these steps are making this seem way more complicated than it is, but I’m anal retentive about steps) Add maybe 3/4 cup crushed ice to your blender and about 1/2 of your honeydew mixture. Blend until frothy and white and yummy looking. (note: I had to do one half and then the other half because it wouldn’t all fit in my blender)

Step 7: Grab your cooked and cooled bobas and put about a 1/4 of them in the bottom of a glass, pour your tea on top, top with whipped cream if you want to be fancy, and grab your big ole straw that you can use to drink and suck those pearls up with.

bubble tea recipe

What other flavors can I come up with….hmmm…

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: daily life

Delivery Man

7.2.13

I see a girls’ night out in my future.

This movie is not about adoption, but it is about what defines family. Between the laughs, I think it will make you take a deeper look at fatherhood—can fatherhood provide purpose in life? Are fathers glorified earthly guardian angels? How does fatherhood change a man? What impact does biology and genetics have on family relationships and why?

Pretty deep stuff for a Vince Vaughn movie, eh?

Delivery Man’s full trailer debuted today, but we gotta wait 144 days for the movie to come out in theaters on November 22nd. If your calendar is anything like mine, go ahead and schedule your girls’ night out now. I’m sure there will be lots to talk about after watching this flick (or we can simply talk about our own crazy families).

Deliveryman

It is impossible to be the father of 533 children.

It is impossible to be the father of 4 children.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Reviews, Uncategorized

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