My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Archives for September 2012

Conference Eve #2

Hello. My house is a wreck right now with boxes abounding and dishes overflowing. There’s a pair of Santa pants strewn on the floor and Perler beads under my feet. I look down to my basement, and I see this. I got it all this far at least.

All 4 of my kids are hula hooping in the living room. At the same time. Multiple mini hula hoops on their arms. And, my mother-in-law will be here before 8am tomorrow.

I was pretty anxious last May before our first training we offered as part of our work with The Sparrow Fund. We were new at the whole training thing. I guess having our second training tomorrow still leaves us as sorta new. But, this time…not so anxious. Busy, yes. Anxious, not so much.

The conference–on discipline and connecting with our children–has been full for weeks; we actually had to start a waiting list. Everything is set. CHOP, who we are collaborating with for this thing, has been great. And, we totally trust that the speaker, Cheryl Nitz, is going be awesome.

I’m guessing that a lot of the families coming tomorrow feel like they need to be there. I’m guessing there are more than a few who are already in crisis. Being able to play a part in allowing them to hear new things and learn new tools and go home 6 hours later encouraged and hopeful–that’s a privilege.

Looking forward to some mighty things happening tomorrow while the kids hula hoop for Grammy.

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It’s our ivory year

14 years ago. I confidently walked down that aisle and gazed into the eyes of the man I loved and vowed, guided by my own father, to be married to him until death do us part. The only anxiety I had was about my hair and where we were headed for our honeymoon since the threat of a hurricane had evacuated the Florida Keys where we were headed.

I wasn’t anxious about being married at all. Because I had no clue.

That day, I had no idea what life would look like and what God would bring over the next 14 years.

Losing a parent, infertility, losing 4 babies, work stress, a layoff, the struggle of parenting a child who struggled and the label of “special needs,” adopting from China, starting a nonprofit, the struggle to balance it all.

All we knew was to hold fast (Gen 2:24) to each other. And, looking back over the last 14 years, we’ve done that pretty well–better through some seasons than others.

The 14th anniversary, the ivory anniversary. I don’t know who chose that symbol for this year, but maybe the desire for ivory beginnings is universal when you’ve been married 14 years.

Mark’s card this year — it’s ivory white with a simple message.

As we start our 15th year as one, I want to have an ivory start, forgiving all and living in freedom of all that hinders us from “holding fast” to one another. I look forward to what God writes all over the ivory canvases of our lives as He takes us and puts us where He wants us to be and we do what He has already prepared in advance for us to do. 

11×14 Ivory canvases to hang above our bed ready to be filled. Who knows what will fill them–love notes, artwork, photos. Whatever will fill them during different seasons will remind us that though we don’t know the future, He does. And, He is the one that will equip us by His grace to hold fast.

Wonder what Mark is giving me. Maybe he bought me an elephant.

*update* no elephant. My clever, creative husband gave me old piano key facades on a key ring with the words: “You will always have the key to my heart” written on them.

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A Snow Day in September

I am convinced that snow days are one of God’s ways of making us stop for a bit. Everybody is all ready to go for their day–lunches packed, homework done, clothes out. And, then, all is cancelled and you’re forced to press the pause button on normal life.

Last night, my parents drove 2 hours up and 2 hours back just to say hello, hug on us, and treat us to dinner. All was well. Lydia was a ball of energy and chatty, chatty, chatty. The night was busy with the bedtime routine and getting all ready for today. Then, busy again as Mark and I bonded with our Macbooks over Connecting While Correcting planning and registration details for Together Called and all the business that causes busyness.

As were calling it quits for the night, we heard a door creak and some whimpering. We found Lydia laying on the hall floor with a fever. She was hot and weak in my arms. And, then she started throwing up. And, no one likes throwing up.

Before we were even all cleaned up, I emailed the senior leader of my Bible Study. “Help, I need a sub for tomorrow! I can’t lead my core group. Lydia’s sick.”

It was a long night with Lydia sleeping by my bedside on a crib mattress. This morning, she woke up chipper and chatty again. “Hmmm…could I pull off still going to Bible Study? Maybe I could find someone to stay here with Lyds so that I could still lead…”

And, then she said it to me: “You gonna take care of me today?”

“Oh, yes, sweetie. I’ll take care of you today. That’s my job.”

“Okay, Mommy. And, I’ll take care of you too.”

And, so, we’re home for the day. My Bible Study group met without me. And, I’m sure they were just fine without me. And, Lydia and me? We’re having our own snow day in September. We’re in our comfy clothes and enjoying the quiet house and the sunlight streaming through the windows and the cats curled up in the warmth of that light. And, I’ve pressed the pause button on all else and have been babying my baby today, and we’ve both been eating it up.

Her fever has come back now, and she’s so quiet and gentle. I’m so glad that it’s my job to care for her today. And, I’m so glad she’s taking care of me too.

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Links Worth Lingering On

Since I know not all ya’ll track my postings on Facebook (though you should since I advocate there for some super precious kiddos and share some nonsense sprinkled in with a few good links and such), thought I’d devote a whole post to some links I’ve shared that are worth checking out…or lingering on for the purpose of alliteration.
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As someone who often hears, “Wow! You have your hands full!” This article “To the Mother With Only One Child” is well worth the read. One or Ten, mothering is not easy.

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This article in China Daily starts off with this:

An ancient Chinese philosopher described the perfect society as “living in harmony, treating others as family… there is love and caring for the elderly … nourishment and education for children … kindness and compassion for widows, orphans, the disabled and the sick”. Historically, such harmony is the standard of happiness. But now, after vast economic development, are the Chinese people happy?

Read about the Chinese’s 4 most pressing social concerns.

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Patty Chang Anker reads her manuscript “The Cookie Jar” at NYC’s Listen to Your Mother. Lovin’ her quote from one of her daughters – “Forever mom is forever. That’s her job.”

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Matthew Salesses, adult adoptee, shares his thoughts about building a family when you were adopted yourself.
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A beautiful post from Sara Hagerty pointing us to the God who remembers. Grab a cup of pumpkin latte and sit down for a read and a challenge.
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Got a link worth sharing? Feel free to link it up. I’m always game for a good read–especially if I’ve got a pumpkin latte in hand.

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