My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Archives for August 2012

First week down

It’s a lot quieter when 75% of your children are not home all day. Definitely more than 75% quieter.

We’ve officially completed our first week of the new school year. Have had a few glitches here and there–my big ole talk apparently needs to slow cook a bit in their hearts (aka Drew’s heart). But, all in all, a good week for the 3 who being schooled 6 hours a day.

And, the other 25% ain’t doing too bad either.

It’s just the two of us now.

Walks are slower and a little less noisy (note: not slow and not noiseless).

Lunch time is definitely more manageable (i.e., I can actually sit and eat with someone instead of collapse in a chair after serving everyone else and try to quickly eat my meal before I’m needed elsewhere).

And, we have been enjoying doing some fun things together that are a bit harder to do with the whole clan.

(these tell a story, don’t they? A whisker got ‘er.)
All the one-on-one time is great…as is my clean house, pile-o-dishes-less sink, and shorter to-do list (not because less needs to be done but because I am actually able to do some of it). But, it’s going to take some getting used to for all of us. 
Lydia has said more than once, “I sad because Ashlyn left me” and “When the kids comin’ home?”

And, we’ve discovered that the hot dog game is really not so much fun with only 2 in the car (when we pass this gas station near our house, the last person to yell hot dog loses. The game is awesome when 6 people play–especially when our windows are open.)

Everyone is very happy about a 4-day weekend. In fact, they’ve been looking forward to this weekend since Labor Day last year. Young Life Family Camp, here we come.

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For all the expectant mamas out there {Giveaway}

Hello, expectant mamas.

Your pregnancy isn’t obvious to the grocery store clerk as you check out or the person passing you in the park as you walk your dog. But, your mailman may be clued in by now.

It’s not a 40-week wait. It’s a lot longer. May seem like 40 years in the wilderness.

2 years into our wait, I wrote about some ways God had shown us blessing in the wait. Sorta fun to look back on my words now a little over 3 years later when I’m in a whole other place. Waiting isn’t all bad.

I want you to know that.

For those who were hoping for a referral call late last night, I want you to know that. For those whose wait just got a whole lot harder because you know now the child you have been waiting for, I want you to know that. For those waiting for travel approval or your court date, I want you to know that.

I wish I could throw a shower for every one of you to celebrate the child who is worth all the waiting.

That would be one grand undertaking.

So, in lieu of that, we’re going to have a little giveaway for just one of you chosen at random next week, a giveaway for one of my favorite gifts from my sweet friend Melissa’s shower on Saturday.

How cute would it be to use a red sharpie and put a little red heart where you live and a little red heart where your child is from? 
Mamas, you’ve done enough paperwork already, so I’ll try not to make this too hard on you. Just leave a comment sharing one thing you’ve learned in the waiting or one blessing in the waiting or one piece of encouragement you’ve gotten in the waiting. Make it simple or share a bit more of yourself. Up to you. Maybe your words will be just what another mama needs.
Only expectant adoptive mamas can enter–if you are in the process in one way or another from any program, that works for me. Keep commenting through next Tuesday, September 4th. I’ll choose a winner randomly from the eligible comments on Wednesday, September 5th. 

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This is it: Our New Year’s Day Talk

You guys are so awesome. Drew is going to be totally smokin’ in the first grade. Ashlyn is going to be amazing in 3rd grade. And, Evan rules the school. So cool.

Can I talk to you a little? I want to tell you a little story from when I was little. When I was about your age, I used to fight with my big sister, Aunt Megan, a lot. We would play together some, but we did fight a lot. Nanma, my mom, would tell us to be kind and to love each other. But, we still fought. Nanma would tell us we had to be friends because other friends would come and go, but we’d always have each other. We didn’t care too much about that though when she said it.

When I was in the third grade and Aunt Megan was in the fifth grade, I heard some kids making fun of Aunt Megan in the hall. I don’t even think she heard them, but I heard them. And, you know what I did? I yelled at them to stop and told them that if they ever did that again, they’d be sorry. I still remember it even though it was a long time ago.

I don’t expect any of you to be made fun of in school. But, there are a lot of kids there who might not have learned how to treat people kindly. There are a lot of kids there who don’t know God loves them and wants them to love Him and love others. And, when kids don’t know those things, kids can do mean stuff. Even when kids do know these things, they may make bad choices and do mean stuff.

If they do that to one of you, I want you to be there for each other. I know you don’t always agree and get along, but when you are outside this home, you need to remember to take care of each other. That’s the best part of having you all together this year; you can take care of each other. Remember that Nanma was right, just like how Aunt Megan and I always had each other no matter what, you guys always have each other.

And, I also want you to keep your eyes wide open to see when there are kids around you who might not have a brother or sister at school to take care of them. If you see a kid left out at recess, teased because he’s different, or sad because he misses home, be a friend to that kid. Please do what you can to make that kid feel better, even if it just means giving him or her a smile and asking if he or she wants to sit with you or play with you.

…because you all do know God. He lives in your heart. And, you have the chance to show people what God is like simply by being kind to them when they need a little kindness. And, that is really something special to be able to show people God. It’s hard sometimes, but because God lives in us, we can do the hard things.

There are a lot of tests in school–reading tests, spelling tests, math tests. And, we want you to work hard in school and do well on those things. But, it’s okay if you don’t. Really. We want you to know that we care much much more about other types of tests. We care much much more about you learning to be kind and generous and forgiving than we do about you learning math and spelling. We care much much more about you protecting each other and protecting the kids around you who need someone to do that for them.

We want to help you learn those things; in fact, it’s our job to help you learn those things. So, come to us. Tell us when you noticed a chance to be brave and be kind to someone even when it may have been hard. Tell us when you noticed a chance to be kind but didn’t make the right choice. Let us tell you that’s okay and help you think about how to do it next time. There will always be next times for you to try again.

Got it?

We love you. Now, go get ready for bed. You have to get up early again tomorrow.

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New Year’s Eve Prayers

It’s a big year, Lord. He’s the oldest in the school. I can’t believe it. Thank you, Lord, for whoever it was who decided to ask Evan to be on the safety patrol this year. Use that experience to grow his confidence and give him something to be excited about. Give him friendships in his class this year as his two buddies are in different classes. Give him success, and protect his gentle spirit.

Lord, this girl loves learning; I know she’s going to do well in third grade this year. While she’s mastering academics, continue to give her an increased sensitivity to eternal things as well. And, give me discernment as her mother to know how to shepherd her. Give Ashlyn friendships this year that she can enjoy. And, use Ashlyn as a blessing to her teacher and her classmates.

Oh, Lord, it’s Drew’s first year gone from home for a full school day. He’s excited, and I guess I’m excited for him. But, I’m a little sad too. Give me confirmation that he’s where he should be. As he eats lunch away from home for the first time, give him confidence and calm any anxiety he may feel. Give him compassion for the kids in his class who don’t know the school like he does and may feel sad over the next couple weeks, and use him to show them your love even in a first-grader sort of way. Give him success as he learns how to read more and more, and help me to know how to encourage him and make sure he knows how loved he is. 

Thank you, Lord, that Lydia and I will have so much time together as the kids are at school. I pray that that time blesses her and me both individually and corporately and that she doesn’t miss her brothers and sister too much or feel left behind. Grow my patience as I mother her everyday. Grow my skills and strategies to mother her the way she needs me to. Help her to know that she is a treasure and that we don’t want to rush her “growing bigger and bigger and bigger.” 
Lord, be with us this new year. Make your presence ever known. Help us to see you more clearly and increase our desire to know you–not know about you but know you. 

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