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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Archives for March 2015

The hot water’s on

3.16.15

I made plans in my head. When dinner was all cleaned up and the kids were settled, I was going to sit down to write. I had the words planned out in my head—words about the struggle with patience. timing. trusting. waiting. 

Today was hard. Our guests departure date is set for April 21st. There’s a whole lot that needs to happen for baby girl before they leave. The reality of that hit us today. She’s already later than we thought she’d be. What if we can’t get her paperwork finished in time? 

Then, after dinner, in between clearing plates and telling children how many Hershey kisses I’d let them have for dessert, she told me very peacefully that she was contracting in the same voice she’d use if she were telling me that she’d like me to get more flour for steamed buns at Wegmans tomorrow. She told me not to do anything yet but to keep going with my plans. Mark and I sat at the dining room table working on the mess of the rooming for Together Called while we watched Helen pacing the living room and taking deep breaths.

A couple hours later, here we are, sitting with Frank in a labor room while he giggles occasionally at Jimmy Fallon on the tv. Helen’s walking around the room trying to get things moving a little faster.

And, I’m writing.

patience. timing. trusting. waiting. 

It’s all still relevant. Very much real. Right in front of me. But, it all looks entirely different from the view before me right now.

There’s going to be a baby girl here soon.

 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Helen

Gift ideas for a family adopting from China

3.14.15

You know how you clear your schedule when you’re anticipating the arrival of a little one? Yeah. That’s where we are right now. Yeah, we’re in the throws of planning a big marriage retreat that is happening 2 weeks ago. But, in between emails and prep work for that, we’re sorta sitting here staring at Helen’s big belly and trying to reason with the little person in there that any time now would be a good time to come on out.

Two people just recently asked me for gift ideas for friends who are adopting from China. So, I’m going to give this baby (and Helen) a break from my harassment and put together a bit of a shopping list for my friends and anyone else who may want to put together an awesome China-travel gift collection for somebody.

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Jiayin-charm-450x525

My favorite gift when we were getting ready to go get our daughter was given to me from my mom–a custom silver charm with our daughter’s Chinese name. I so loved wearing it while I waited and then eventually while we traveled. One of my favorite memories is of the orphanage nanny noticing the charm and touching it as she said goodbye to our daughter. That gift actually led to me helping our friend Helen to start a business called Jiayin Designs to help provide for their family. You do have to think ahead to give the gift of this charm–they take anywhere from 4-6 weeks to arrive, and you do need to have a picture of the child’s name in Chinese characters preferably so that the charm is perfect. If that doesn’t work for you, you can always give a gift certificate good for a charm that the mom can order whenever she wants.

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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 5.18.40 PMMark got me a set of packing cubes for my birthday one year right before a trip to China. After using them once, I honestly can’t imagine traveling without them. They aren’t much money and work so well for organizing a family’s packing as well as allowing them to pack way more than they think will fit in their luggage which is pretty important on an adoption trip. I’d suggest getting two sets–one for mom and one for dad. I personally love the teal color but there are manly colors too.
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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 5.25.55 PMA luggage scale is a must-have. Families adopting from China have their international flight to China but then have at least one domestic flight if not several where the luggage weight restrictions are lower. Typically, our international flights allow up to 50 lbs per checked bag, but the domestic flights within China only allow 44 lbs. So, a luggage scale is essential for packing before you leave as well as repacking as the family is in China. Here are two of our favorites–this one from EatSmart or this one from Balanzza.
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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 5.47.27 PMNot everyone likes wearing a money belt type of thing like this–maybe they’re too reminiscent of an old-fashioned fanny pack? Regardless, they come in really handy when shopping in an outdoor market to quickly pull out some RMB for those treasures to take home without opening your backpack all up, etc.

 

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passport walletEven with the money belt, this custom made travel wallet for cards, passport, pen, travel documents, etc. is awesome. I don’t have one myself, but I’m very envious of the one that Annie from Stitchbird and Fern donated for a raffle at Together Called last year. It’s downright beautiful and is made really really well.

 

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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 5.56.43 PMYes, this is obnoxiously bright. But, that’s the point. Baggage claim is way easier with a couple obnoxiously bright luggage tags. I haven’t tried this brand personally, but their brightness looks like they’d be a good choice.
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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 6.07.21 PMWhen traveling to China, you really only need a plug adapter (not an electric converter) for your computer, phone, iPad, and camera charger. They can handle the voltage and just need the right type of plug. Trust me when I say travelers shouldn’t bother with bringing a hair dryer and/or flat iron to use with a converter. It’ll probably be destroyed within a day or two (and you don’t want to burn your hotel down or anything).

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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 6.26.59 PM

If I were a rich girl, I’d have basically every available item from Tom Bihn. They have a ton of very clever travel solutions. I don’t have this particular piece myself to organize plug adapters and phone cords and the like (cleverly named the Snake Charmer), but one in burnt orange is on my own wish list (Tom Bihn, feel free to send one along as a thank you for the mention :) ). It would make a really fun gift to order the plug adapters and the Snake Charmer to go with them. But, if you need to go cheaper, you can find some cheap varied colored bags on Amazon that can organize all your goodies too.

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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 6.23.03 PMThese toiletry bags (aka Spiff kit) from Tom Bihn in Wasabi are also on my wish list. Grab this bag and some other color coordinated accessories like the travel tray or Stuff Sack. The travel tray is awesome. (Tom Bihn, add a set of Wasabi accessories to that package you are sending me, please :) )

 

 

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travel journalchina journalI love this customized spiral bound travel journal with the China map on the cover and whatever text you want from Vintage Page Designs. Here’s another journal option too from Atlas Art that is a bit cheaper but still very cool for a gift.

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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 7.21.57 PMOkay, so these are $299. I know. And, likely nobody’s buying these noise-canceling headphones as a gift. But, I had to share them because we were able to get a pair using frequent flyer miles that were expiring and they are LIFE CHANGING. Seriously. If you have $300 to spare, get these. You’re welcome.
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rice cooker picFamilies don’t need this to travel, but they are gonna need this baby soon enough. We use our rice cooker to make rice (duh) as well as congee, steamed buns, and veggies. Ours gets a serious workout (i.e., it was used three times a day).
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Screen Shot 2015-11-28 at 11.51.49 AMAnd, here’s another post-China adoption must have, in my opinion (especially if you have an older child). Every family in China uses one of these babies as do orphanages. There’s no such thing as a cold beverage in China; hot is where it’s at. Use this electric kettle to heat up drinking water (no tea needed, just hot water). This is currently the most used appliance in our home.
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Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 6.57.33 PM

The Pleco Chinese Translator app is free but has in-app purchases that make it awesome. I paid something like $30 for all the features which sounds like a lot, but I use it constantly in China and have even used it often with Helen here. It’s the best app we’ve found for translating and comes in very very handy (even without all the features) when the family is trying to communicate with their guide, orphanage staff, and even possibly their son or daughter in the case of older child adoption. Consider gifting the family $30 in an iTunes gift card for this purpose.

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Another gift idea I’d suggest would be books about China travel, culture, or adoption in general. Some of my favorite recommendations to that end are:

    • China Survival Guide: How to Avoid Travel Troubles and Mortifying Mishaps, 3rd Edition
    • China in Ten Words
    • Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother: Stories of Loss and Love
    • Wish You Happy Forever: What China’s Orphans Taught Me About Moving Mountains
    • On the Night You Were Born
    • Eating Bitterness: Stories from the Front Lines of China’s Great Urban Migration
    • No Drama Discipline
    • The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family and
    • I Love You Rituals

Any other ideas? Feel free to share them with me, and I’ll add them to the list…because, you know, I’ve got all the time in the world while I’m waiting here for this baby to show up.

 

We are participants in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon. Use the links in this post at no cost to you. 

 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Uncategorized

Curse words

3.13.15

Lydia: I know how to make curse words!

Me: [speechless]

curse words

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: daily life, Lydia

Who my 6-year-old is

3.10.15

6 year old birthdayMy baby is 6 years old.

We gave her gifts as expected. She ooo-ed and ahhh-ed over the scuba gear that she begged for. She jumped up and down about her Elsa get up. But, I think her favorite gift of all, the one she will remember long after the fake chiffon is ripped to shreds and the plastic snaps into pieces is this…

Everyone at the table gave her the gift of one word to describe her now that she’s 6.

Spunky.
Creative.
Fearless.
Cheetah-fast.
Fast-as-a-spaceship.
Brave.
Sweet.
Fantastic.
Adorable.
Playful.

Melting with every word uttered, at the end, as a gift to herself, she called out her own three words to describe herself.

Special.
Good.
Beautiful.

No one cared that a few gifts didn’t arrive in time and that Lydia didn’t even like the cake she insisted I create for her and ended up with a bowl of vanilla ice cream instead. This was the best birthday celebration this family has ever shared.

Truly.

Really.

Seriously.

I’m pretty sure she went to bed with sore cheeks from smiling too much. And, maybe I did too.

Lydia is six 2

Lydia is six 3

IMG_6088

 

 

 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Everyday life, Lydia

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I overthink everything. This blog is a prime example. Make yourself a cup of coffee and sit down for a read. Actually, make that a pot of coffee. There’s a lot of overthinking here.

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