Archives for April 2010
catching up
I’ve been blog delinquent this last week. If you have ever had a child with parasites, you understand why. This has been my life this last week–
It was brutal at first–4 doses a day of the worst tasting medicine known to mankind (confirmed as such by the pharmacist). After making Mark give her all 4 doses on Sunday and then having Lydia refuse to even look at him Monday morning AND after her symptoms of diarrhea getting worse on top of the vomiting caused by horrible tasting medicine, we caved and told the doctors NO MORE. So, we gave her a day off and then started on another medicine that is much more palpable. So far, so good. And, we only have 1 1/2 days left of it. Hallelujah. We’re hoping that we’ll have a lot more fun when we’re done with all of this. Plus, we still have some adjusting to do. I haven’t figured out what “normal” looks like with 4 kids yet. I’m longing for some sort of routine and pattern to our day (remember how anal retentive I am?). We did manage to get outside today–it’s so beautiful out. Lydia gave us some great smiles on the swing.
She really is progressing well. We weaned her off all Chinese formula as of yesterday. And, during one of our bottle feedings yesterday, she held onto my finger and even reached out to touch my face a little. That’s big progress for her–she has been very protective of her hands. She doesn’t like us touching them unless we’re helping her toddle around. It warmed my heart that she would feel so comfortable in my arms. I think she’s starting to get that I’m Mama.
Travel Tips!
- BLOG – If you don’t have a blog yet, start one. Make sure you have your comment moderation turned on so that you get emails when you get comments. And, make sure you have a reliable, email-checking person in the U.S. ready to post for you. Blogger is blocked in China; you’ll need to email someone here and have them post the text and pics for you. Ashley did this for me, and she was great. And, reading the comments that came into our inbox was so encouraging for us.
- YAHOO GROUP – Join the yahoo group for your orphanage and for kids with the same diagnosis as your child if they are from the special needs program. The folks on these yahoo groups have oodles of helpful information for you. I was able to see pictures of our daughter’s orphanage and home city before we traveled. I was better prepared for the stomach bugs we would encounter since they are epidemic to our orphanage. They gave specific advice for restaurants, etc. in the city where we were headed.
- PERSONAL INFO CARDS – I had read this idea in only one place somewhere, so I dismissed it. Wish I hadn’t! Get a handful (30?) of business cards made up with your personal info–name, blog address, email, home address, name of your child…whatever. Too often I had to scramble for a piece of paper and a pencil to jot down our names and info to give to someone we had met (e.g., guides, other adoptive families) and wanted to connect with later. It would have been so much easier to just hand them our card.
- $100 BILLS – Have your bank get brand new, never used $100 bills for you to take to exchange in China. There can’t be any marks on them, and they don’t like exchanging less than a $100 bill. Order these early as it can take a little while for your bank to get them. We were scrambling at the last minute to get these.
- CLEAR FOLDERS – Our agency had suggested bringing two clear folders that tie shut. We did that and used one for official documents and one for nonofficial documents but ones we wanted to keep safe (e.g., newspaper with her finding ad, receipts for things). Make sure you bring the A4 size folders and not letter size (which is what we brought). China uses A4 sized paper for their documents.
- WESTERN DOCTORS – Before you travel, do research to find the names and locations of Western doctors (if there are any) in your capital city. On day 2 of having Lydia, she got very sick. We were going to have to have her seen the next day if her fever did not come down. Fortunately, it did. But, I spent a good bit of time (and lots of anxiety!) trying to email folks and find some Western doctors where we were so that I wouldn’t have to take her to the Chinese hospital. I did find two Western doctors I could have used; I just wish I had done that research ahead of time so that I didn’t freak out when we were told she was going to have to be seen.
- PRAYER SCHEDULE – We made a spreadsheet with our basic itinerary along with a prayer request for that day and emailed it out to some friends before we left. It was a real blessing to know that they were praying for specific needs on those days together as a body of believers. I would be glad to share our schedule with anyone who would like to personalize it for themselves.
- ONE NICER TOP – I brought pretty much all t-shirts. I had short sleeve and long sleeve ones I could layer. I did bring two knee-length skirts to sort of dress them up if needed. But, I felt underdressed when we went for our consulate appointment. A lot of folks wore “nicer” outfits. There was no need for the nicer outfit at all. But, I did think to myself that I wished I had brought one not-so-practical top.
- DIAPERS AND WIPES – I am a self-admitted diaper and wipes snob. I only like pampers diapers and huggies wipes. Although everyone suggested buying these things there, I brought my own and was so glad I did. First off, they were superior to the Chinese products under the same brand name (which was needed for our girl with a tummy bug…say no more). Plus, they took up suitcase space that we knew we’d then have to bring home souvenirs. Worked perfectly for us.
- SNACKS – Don’t bother bringing much of these. There are plenty of snacks you can get there that really are good. Plus, it’s fun to try a few new things….like Pocky.
- GIFTS – We needed 5 gifts at our civil affairs appointment (for the civil affairs official, his assistant, 2 orphanage representatives, and the notary). We also brought 5 additional gifts we gave out at the actual orphanage (to the doctor, Lydia’s favorite caregiver, and then 3 that we gave to the director to distribute). Give out all your gifts in your province. You will not need any in Guangzhou.
- LAYERS – We were harassed for the lack of layers we put on Lydia while we were in Xi’an, Shaanxi province. Even our guide told us that we could not expect her cough to get better when we were dressing her as we were. I got smart and put one of her light weight footed sleepers on under her clothing on the day we visited her orphanage. I still was chided by the caregivers for not dressing her in more clothes! Even in you are traveling in the spring or summer, I suggest making sure you have a light weight cotton footed sleeper to use for this purpose. This was not an issue at all in Guangzhou, fyi.
- PACK LESS CLOTHES – Plan on rewearing things. That’s what the Chinese do. Our guide in Xi’an, in fact, wore the same pants the entire week. I knew this when I was packing, but I still packed too many tops.
- LAUNDRY – On that note, there may not be cheap laundry in your province. There wasn’t where we were (hotel laundry service was available but at a price that matched hotel laundry in the states). We handwashed what we needed to wash until we got to Guangzhou where there are shops that will do your laundry for pennies all over the place.
- ARRIVE EARLY – Our agency encouraged us to do a tour of Beijing with other families before going to our provinces. Not only was this a great time with my husband, but we really enjoyed seeing the sites in Beijing as well as connecting with the families pre-babies. And, most importantly, it took a few days for us to get adjusted to the time difference. I’m SO glad we were adjusted by time we received Lydia so that we could focus on her without being crazy exhausted.
- BULKHEAD SEATS – If your child is under 2, make sure you reserve the bulkhead seating for your flight home. You get oodles more leg room (SO SO nice) and you get a bassinet for the baby to sleep in. It doesn’t cost any more than any other ticket. We must have said 10x on our return flight how thankful we were to have those seats.
- KING BEDS – When you are making travel arrangements with your agency, request a king sized bed rather than two “double” beds. The double beds are really slightly larger than a twin sized bed; two people really can’t fit in them. We liked having the king so that we could lay Lydia between us to sleep. And, we could sit on the bed rather than the floor to play with her.
- PEARLS AND JADE – Gotta buy some of these for you and for your daughter or your future daughter-in-law–maybe even your granddaughter. Note that the prices are better at the Beijing pearl market (prepare to haggle) than in Guangzhou (not much haggling if any at all). Rule of haggling–Aim for 1/4 of the original price they tell you. You may have to threaten to walk away. They will act irritated, but they will come down to your price and may even affirm your haggling skills!
- HOTEL INFO IN CARRY ON – When you are on your flight close to landing in China, you are given forms to complete that you have to hand in at immigration at the gate. On these forms, you will need the name and address info for the first hotel where you will be staying. Have it handy so you aren’t in a panic.
- ASK FOR HELP – Before you leave, be bold and ask some folks if they would bring you a meal for the week you get home. You will need it! When you are so tired that you feel like someone drugged your drink when you weren’t looking, making dinner is the last thing on your mind. If you are really bold, ask someone to clean your house for you and put some essentials in your frig for you before you get home too.
- CHINESE vs. ENGLISH – If you are adopting a child old enough to be speaking, consider whether you want your guide to speak English or Chinese to your child. We heard of a situation in which the guide spoke Chinese to the child and the child attached to the guide rather than the family. Think about how you want to arrange the communication and then firmly tell your guide right away.
- PAPER – Take the letter stationery from each hotel where you stay. I forgot until the last day to get the paper from our hotel in Xi’an, but I got lots from the White Swan. I plan on using this paper to write a letter to our daughter each year on Gotcha Day.
- PICTURES – Think about what pictures you really have to have ahead of time so that you know you will get them. Do you want a picture with the orphanage workers who deliver your child to you? Do you want a picture when his or her hand or foot is being stamped on the adoption paperwork? Think about it ahead of time and tell your spouse or travel partner so that you make sure you get them. You think you’ll think of it then, but the moments are overwhelming and you forget unless someone helps you remember. Also, talk about if you want things on video or still pictures. We opted to have Mark video the “gotcha” moment and then keep the video rolling while sitting on the arm of the couch while we took still pictures. The video doesn’t show anything great then, but you can hear our responses to her and the Chinese conversations in the background.
- LIST OF QUESTIONS – Make a list of questions for Gotcha Day and for your civil affairs office appointment. We were so overwhelmed on Gotcha Day that I barely asked anything. The next day, I came with a list (some questions came up that night for us after being with Lydia for the night). It may be your only chance to get information about your child, so ask as much as you can.
- GET YOUR GUIDE TO ORDER FOR YOU – Some people are much better at this than we were, but when we ordered, we struck out. Generally, our meals were great when we had our guide choose the restaurant and order for us.
- FINDING CLOTHES, ETC. – I hadn’t thought to ask for Lydia’s finding clothes until someone suggested it on a comment on my blog on Gotcha Day. I asked at our civil affairs appointment the next morning, and we ended up getting the blanket she was found in as well as two outfits she wore as a baby (they could no longer find the dress she was found in since they had reused it). Don’t be afraid to ask! And, I want to add that visiting Lydia’s finding spot was the second most emotional and significant moment for me (after receiving her) of our entire trip. I strongly suggest making the trip there if at all possible.
- GUIDE’S INFO – Get your guide’s email address before you leave your province. We emailed our guide from Guangzhou and once this week with more questions that came up. She contacted the orphanage for us and got the answers we needed. If you can get it, also ask him or her for the orphanage’s direct email (all the guides should have it since they have been in contact with your child’s orphanage to arrange meeting times, etc.). You may want to email the orphanage or your child’d favorite caregiver pictures of your child or updates about him or her later.
- WHITE SWAN – Don’t stay at the Victory. White Swan was much nicer, and it was a real blessing to be around so many other adoptive families there. One family we connected with who stayed at the Victory and saw rooms at both hotels were disappointed they hadn’t stayed at the White Swan instead. UPDATE: The Weavers disagree. They had a great experience at the Victory (see Joy’s comment below). I based my tip on the experience of the Woods. Perhaps it was just the room they got?
- CONNECT – On that note, connect with other families in Guangzhou. We formed significant relationships that week. Enjoy the opportunity to do that and encourage one another.
- BAG LUCY’S – Lucy’s was overrated. Yes, it’s Western food, but it’s really not that good. Go there to say you were there, but don’t live there. Instead, go to La Dolce Vita, an Italian place with really good pizza that is in walking distance from the White Swan. Or, hit the Cow and Bridge Thai restaurant, also in walking distance. My husband got the sweet and sour pork there and I got a baked rice with seafood dish that was served in a real pineapple. Both were awesome!
- BUY A SUITCASE – If your child will be over 2 when you travel home, he or she gets a checked bag on the flight. Buy a cheap suitcase in Guangzhou (they are all over the place) and then you don’t have to worry about fitting in all the souvenirs you buy.
- TAKE MORE PICTURES – Take more pictures than you think you want. Take oodles. You won’t regret it. And, take more video too. Pictures don’t capture the sounds and the language like video does.
- BUY – If you like something and are debating whether to buy it, just buy it. Everything is so cheap, and you may regret it if you don’t. While in Guangzhou, if you are looking for some deals and trinkets to bring home, get a taxi to OneLink International Plaza for 8 floors of toys and house decos and electronics, etc. We found some fun stuff there as did everyone in our travel group.
- THE DELI – There’s a deli outside the White Swan (the entrance/exit where you walk out to the street). It’s to the left. We loved this place. I’m embarrassed to tell you that we got the chocolate mango cake several times (okay, 4 times actually). It was expensive at 20 RMB but is so good and was such a fun treat Mark and I would enjoy after Lydia was asleep. We also went there for a quick lunch. They have ham and cheese rolls that are delicious and only about 6 RMB (about a dollar). The ham and cheese are baked into the center of the roll which is sorta sweet. We also liked the blueberry roll there. This place is a great alternative to another sit down restaurant.
- SQUEAKY SHOES – Yes, they are cute. Yes, buy some to bring home. But, please, please, don’t let your child wear them on the plane ride home. Not very fun for all the sleeping passengers to hear those “cute, little squeaks” in the middle of the night.
- CIPRO – Bring a prescription for traveller’s diarrhea. When you need it, you need it. And, we did.
- ZIPLOCS – Bring extra ziplocs of various sizes and maybe a small tupperware (would have been helpful to take a few snacks for Lydia from the breakfast buffet). The ziplocs are useful for everything. Bring one 2 gallon sized one for the clothes your child came in on Gotcha Day. If you are getting finding day clothes, bring a second 2 gallon sized bag.
- EXPECT A HARD DAY – You can read about our hard day here. We got sick; I missed our kids at home; I missed the comforts of home; I wanted Lydia to like me…you get the picture. It was just an emotional day for me. Not everyone has days like this, I think…since I rarely read about them on others’ blogs. But, don’t be surprised if you do have a day like this. Just know that you will get through it with God’s grace, and tomorrow will be better. It served as a good reminder to me of my own humanity and weakness and my need for God. Allow Him to fill you when you need it.
Are 38 tips enough? :) Did I lose you all? Sorry if I did. It was good for me to get all these thoughts into words, and I hope somebody gets something out of some of it. I also have an extensive packing list if anyone wants to see it as well as a Chinese/English menu to help you order when you are without your guide. Just email me if you want to see those. EMAIL ME DIRECTLY–DON’T JUST LEAVE A COMMENT ON THE BLOG SINCE I CAN’T ALWAYS FIND YOU FROM A COMMENT.