5 weeks to go. Crazy. My kids are all buzzing with Mickey fever…okay, fine, I admit it, we’ve all been in a Disney daze since Christmas. But, in between making countdown calendars and painting Disney character beads, we’re been working on the biggest Sparrow event of the year—Together Called. Stephen and Beth Templeton who are like a-warm-cozy-blanket-on-a-rainy-day but for your heart (yeah, I know that’s over the top. I’m allowed) are speaking. But, others are sharing too during breakout sessions. They are all part of the Together Called village who have been prayerfully preparing to be conduits for refreshment and restoration for these couples. I wish I could sit in every single session, don’t you?

The Biological and Adoptive Family: Parenting With Grace in a Blended Family – Tim and Nancy Shaw
Adoption is born out of loss and disruption. Primarily a loss for the child(ren) you are adopting but also a disruption to your marriage and the lives of the children who are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their new sibling. Blending the family God intended for you will be hard. But, in accordance to His perfect plan, God has provided us with all we need and come to a place of great joy in this process. In this session, Tim and Nancy will share the good, the bad, and the ugly of their adoption story and practical strategies for blending biological and adoptive children. They’ll discuss preparing the family for the arrival of new family members, using your children’s natural personalities to your advantage, what to do about the inevitable squabbling and sibling rivalry, and how discipline changes as blending occurs.

About the speakers: Tim and Nancy both grew up and live in gorgeous Arizona. Tim is an adult adoptee, and Nancy is a soccer mom and reluctant city girl. They were highschool sweethearts and are now parents to 7 children (4 homegrown and 3 through the blessing of special needs adoption), none of whom have actually ever played soccer. Tim and Nancy put their faith in the Lord to direct their path and get them though each fabulously crazy moment.  Nancy blogs at Ordinary Miracles & The Crazy 9.

It Takes a Village of Two – led by us
Intentional parenting of kids from hard places is not easy. All the traditional methods of correction we know have to be reconsidered. As we set out to meet the unique needs of each of our children, it’s imperative that moms and dads approach correction as a team. This session will provide a little bit of why and how and then give an opportunity for couples to wrestle through some real life application for their own families.

About…well…us: Mark and Kelly Raudenbush founded The Sparrow Fund in 2011, having been changed by the adoption of their youngest child and desiring to serve adoptive families. Kelly holds a Masters degree in counseling, and they both have been trained to teach the Empowered to Connect material which is based on TBRI, Karyn Purvis’ research and methods for children from hard places. They consider it a joy to pour into both mothers and fathers who are eager to do the right thing for their families, encouraging parents to understand their own hearts more clearly as they seek to care for the hearts of their children. Mark and Kelly have been married for 15 years, have 4 children, and also work professionally with a nonprofit reaching students in Asia. Kelly blogs at My Overthinking.

Let’s Play: Building Blocks, Building Attachment – Cheryl Walters
Play isn’t only about fun and games. In this session, Cheryl Walters will explain the importance of child’s play in building attachment and fostering positive parent-child relationships. She will also share different ideas about how to play with your children during different seasons of life for the “play-challenged,” focusing on how we can be attuned to our children and maximize interaction.

About the speaker: Cheryl Walters is a Licensed Psychologist since 1985. She is a Registered Clinician with ATTACh (Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children) as well as a Certified Theraplay Therapist. Cheryl designed, implemented, provided services, and fulfilled the role of Supervisory/Consulting Psychologist in a specialized treatment program for children/adolescents and their parents/families with diagnoses associated with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, and Developmental Trauma Disorder. Currently, Cheryl specializes in providing outpatient psychotherapy for attachment issues and early trauma as a psychotherapist at Bethany Christian Services.

Nutrition for Our Kids: Some Things to Chew On – Wanda Graham
You don’t have to bite off more than you can chew to provide your children with good nutrition! With her love for cooking and passion to have healthy kids, Wanda Graham has invested herself in learning how good nutrition can bless children who have experienced trauma. In this session, Wanda will serve up an overview of the impact of nutrition on our children and the role we have as parents to meet our children’s needs in this way as well as provide bite-sized tips to healthy meal and snack options that will be well received and won’t make parents feel like they need to be masters of the kitchen or spend a fortune at the store.

About the speaker: Wanda Graham has been married to Matt for 14 years. Their home here in Lancaster County is a busy one, bustling with 6 children, all of whom have joined their family via adoption (one private domestic adoption, five adoptions through foster care). She is passionate about caring for the fatherless and the families who graft them in as their own. Wanda and Matt have been joyfully serving on the leadership team for Together Called since last year’s retreat.

Together to the Throne – hosted by Stephen and Beth Templeton (my cozy heart blankets)
There are times when what we need most is simply for someone to stand with us in prayer. This session is set aside just for that. No teaching except what you hear from God in prayer; no topic except the one you bring for prayer. Jesus said, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” During this time, Stephen and Beth, our keynote speakers, will stand together with couples, believing God for His kingdom to break in to the situations that are on your heart and for His voice to speak louder than all the others as you walk this adoption journey.

About the facilitators: Stephen and Beth Templeton, our keynote speakers, serve as elders at Northlands Church where Beth also leads a ministry to mothers and Stephen is a worship leader. Thirteen years ago, after having had three biological children, the Lord called Stephen and Beth to adopt four children from Russia, so now there are 9 Templetons. Both Stephen and Beth have a passion for communicating the joy, peace, and victory available to us as adoptive parents. Stephen is also a physician and practices dermatopathology in Atlanta.  You can read their blog here: Hope at Home.

Trauma and the Adopted child: What it is and What to do – Dr. Phil Monroe
Does adoption represent a trauma for the adopted child and his or her new family? Might trauma explain some of the problem behaviors your child exhibits? In this session, Dr. Monroe, director of the Global Trauma Recovery Institute, will review the characteristics of posttraumatic stress disorder and complex trauma along with options for treatment adoptive parents should consider. Dr. Monroe will also discuss recommendations for parents and loved ones, those who are most impacted by the adoption of children who have experienced trauma.

About the speaker: Phil Monroe is a licensed psychologist and Professor of Counseling & Psychology at Biblical Seminary (and was my professor whom I worked for as a PA). He directs both the MA in Counseling degree program and Global Trauma Recovery Institute. Phil has been married to Kim for the past 23 years and together they adopted two infant boys who are now 15 and 13. Phil’s professional and personal musings can be found at www.wisecounsel.wordpress.com.

What’s Romance Got to Do With It? – Jeff and Cheryl Nitz
All of us experience unique challenges balancing the needs of our children and maintaining a growing vital marriage. And, loving and caring for our spouses, including having some semblance of a love life, is an important way that we care for them, ourselves, and even our family as a whole. Come join Jeff and Cheryl as they share some of their own journey as adoptive parents and offer thoughts about how best to foster a fun, growing, intimate marriage that equips parents to lead healthy families (yes, intimacy is the code word for sex. This will be a sex and romance talk.).

About the speakers: Jeff and Cheryl Nitz bring both professional and personal experience to share as they offer insights, challenges, and encouragement to families whom God has brought together through adoption. Jeff and Cheryl both have over 25 years of professional experience in the field of adoption and foster care. Jeff is currently the Vice President of Adoption & Family Services for Bethany Christian Services. Cheryl is a therapist and the Director of the Attachment & Bonding Center of PA, specializing in working with families impacted by adoption, trauma and attachment challenges. But, Jeff and Cheryl often say their best education has come from being parents to their four kids (two of whom came to the family through adoption) and grandparents to four. Most importantly, Jeff and Cheryl are presenting as fellow sojourners—sharing with other adoptive parents the joys and challenges and lessons learned and deeply committed to fostering a fun, growing, supportive marriage in the midst of chaos!

Where Are My Green Pastures? – Stephanie Smit
If the Lord is your Shepherd, shouldn’t you be enjoying some green pastures? Perhaps you feel like your adoption journey has felt much more like the valley of the shadow of death than green pastures. Maybe He walked you through the “valley of the shadow of death” in your adoption process; but, now that you are home, you are still waiting for some “green pastures.” By adjusting our understanding of the green pastures David was writing about, we will gain a better understanding of how God provides for His people. Whether you are still waiting to complete your adoption or have been home “in the trenches” for many years, find encouragement by getting new perspective on the promises of Psalm 23.

About the speaker: Stephanie’s 18 years teaching in the classroom were easy compared to mothering three little ones at home full time. Through the process of growing her family with her husband Matt, God has revealed Himself most clearly. He not only worked a miracle in giving them their biological daughter, He continued to show Himself in mighty ways throughout their adoption journeys in China and Bhutan that were anything but normal. Through times of heartache, disappointment, and uncertainty God proved Himself to be not only the God of the end result, but the God of the right-there-with-you. In addition to being a full-time mother, Stephanie loves connecting with and encouraging other adoptive families through her work as administrator of The Sparrow Fund’s blog “We Are Grafted In.”  Stephanie also blogs at We Are Family.

Will you do me a favor and pray for all these people, our friends who are joining arms with us to serve families in a big way?

Things had been buzzing all day. By 9:30 or so, the only preparation we had left to do was click “Publish Event.” So, at 9:45pm Monday night, we stopped all the chatter and bowed our heads. As a small group of volunteers, we each prayed for each person who was hitting refresh, for every couple who needed to be there, for the speakers, for the volunteers, for no technical issues with registration.

Then, Mark hit that button, and we all waited to see what would happen. We expected it to fill quickly. We had talked the registration up a good bit, encouraging people to have some “fast fingers.” But, in those 30 seconds or so before the first email notification of a registration came in, a little doubt crept in, and I confess that I thought, “Oh, Lord, what if hardly anyone registers tonight after all?” It was that little feeling of nausea in the pit of my stomach that tells my brain, “What in the world are you doing? How did you end up here? Do you really think you can do this?”

And, then the first email hit Mark’s inbox. Four of us gathered around his screen and another two watched us via Skype as the emails came in one after another, and we responded in shock. As quickly as they started pouring in, they stopped.

It took 4 minutes and 16 seconds according to the time stamps on the registrations to fill Together Called 2014.

Less than 5 minutes of craziness left our heads spinning. We read through each notification, excited to see names—some familiar ones and some we have families we have never met before—of the people we would be pouring grace on this February. For a little while, I forgot all about that momentary feeling of doubt that had felt so real only minutes before. God didn’t let me forget it entirely though; instead, He spoke to me through it.

This isn’t your thing; it’s mine. I’ve called you to this, to serve, to give, yes, but the success of it—success by my definition—from registration right on through until the last person drives away from the retreat in February rests on me. It isn’t about you at all; it’s about me.

In about 5 months, this room will be buzzing, likely not unlike my dining room was buzzing Monday night. There will be lots of chatter, women giving hugs to greet one another, some laughter and stories shared. Maybe a few of those men and women who fill this space will get that nauseous feeling in their stomachs too, and they’ll be asking themselves, “What in the world are you doing? How did you end up here? Do you really think you can do this?”

As He continually reminds us of our calling, our prayer is that He’ll do that for those couples at Together Called. Maybe it will take 4 minutes and 16 seconds, maybe it will take the whole weekend, maybe it will be a much longer process that only begins that weekend when we’re together. Regardless of how long it takes, I trust that it will happen, He’ll speak to each one of those parents and parents-to-be and remove those doubts and fears and remind them of Truth.

This parenting thing isn’t your thing; it’s mine. I’ve called you to this, to serve, to give, yes, but the success of it—success by my definition—from the waiting to bring your child home, to when you become a family, right on through until your nest is empty and your children are building their own nests rests on me. It isn’t about you at all; it’s about me.

If you want to be added to the waiting list to join us, click here. We’re doing all we can to serve all who want to be there and are already actively pursuing how we can do that better going forward.

We’re in trouble. We’ve got a lot to live up to.

Truly the best and most fulfilling getaway we have attended.

We really benefitted from the couples’ breakout time. To have an hour to sit and talk, uninterrupted with questions to challenge our conversation was like a springboard of growth and closeness in our marriage.

Absolutely the most powerful example of biblical unity and expression of the love of Christ.

Life changing, heart changing…

We were not prepared for how impactful last year’s Together Called retreat for preadoptive and adoptive couples would be. In fact, we were sorta floored by it all. 122 men and women from 14 different states, parents of 186 children, 108 of whom joined their families via adoption. Worship, fellowship, time set apart for husbands and wives to reconnect, messages of truth that pointed couples to the God who pursues them, and red carpet treatment—God used every element of Together Called to work in people’s lives.

Come to think of it…maybe we’re not in trouble after all. We trust that the One who called us together will do it again. We know He can and trust He’s already on the move.

On February 21st-23rd, 2014, adoptive parents will gather for Together Called 2014 at a posh little resort in Lancaster County, PA to hear from Atlanta, Georgia’s Beth and Stephen Templeton, faithful servants and parents of 3 biological children and 4 adopted children from Russia, as well as a handful of other speakers with expertise in navigating the challenges in adoptive families. We believe that like last year, couples will leave refreshed and encouraged with a renewed passion to serve God and the children they’ve been blessed with.

We’re already all abuzz with excitement to be a part of it. And, that’s going to get even more fun tonight when registration opens at 10pm EST. Room is limited, and we’re expecting it to fill fast. So, set an alarm on your phone for 9:50pm EST as a reminder, and warm up your typing fingers. We want you to be a part of this. I know that visiting the Philadelphia area in February was totally at the  top of your wish list anyway.