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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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#togethercalled #sendme

2.26.14

This time last year, we thought we were in trouble. The response to The Sparrow Fund’s first Together Called conference was overwhelming. We weren’t sure if we could make that significant of an impact again. Now, here we are, a few days out from Together Called 2014, realizing we weren’t in trouble at all. We were just along for the ride, a part of a movement God is directing to care for families and marriages.

Thanks for your amazing hearts and the prayers and energy you poured into making the weekend a beautiful reflection of God’s care and comfort for us. It was truly like falling into the safest, warmest, most comfortable pillow. We returned refreshed, relaxed, and excited to pursue Jesus and the adventure He has for us!

Together Called 2014 was so renewing and deeply impacting.

Best conference ever!

I learned that as parents we are colaborers with the God of the universe. But, no matter how right or perfect we parent, we will NEVER be able to to parent Jesus right out of a job. He is the savior of our children, not us.”

We’ve been reading the feedback from attendees as they send it in—70 couples from 10 different states, parents of 235 children. We prayed for them by name, that God would meet each one including us at our very point of need. And, while we haven’t heard back from every single couple, we believe He did just that. Stephen and Beth Templeton of Hope at Home in Atlanta humbly and wisely shared what God has taught them as they have been a part of the “full contact sport of adoptive parenting,” directing us to the only One who can give us what we need. The worship, the fellowship, the time set apart for husbands and wives to spend time alone, and every little goodie donated from Honest Tea to puzzles that look like the world from Crocodile Creek and tons of amazing things for our raffles—God used every part of the weekend to remind us that they we are cared for and to refuel our tanks to keep on keeping on as we follow the One who has called us together.

I’m getting ready for the next big thing for The Sparrow Fund. Tomorrow, I am boarding a plane to lead a team of 12 other folks to go and serve at an orphanage in China (Yeah, I’m pretty much in full-on EEK! mode right now). It’s sorta crazy all that we’ve had going on during this season. But, I know that we are right where God wants us to be—encouraged that He is very much at work and that He has graciously invited us to be a part of that work despite ourselves.

Bible verse for orphan trip

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

Call to the home team

2.16.14

photo courtesy of KC Photography

There are a lot of countdowns going on here—Mark will be home when we wake, Together Called is only days away, and my trip to China along with 12 other kindred spirits pretty much immediately follows.

For months, we’ve been raising funds, filling out paperwork, considering schedules and preparing logistically. We’ve been coming together on conference calls so we can work better together as a team, creating t-shirts so we look like a team, and going through material to grow us as we are a part of a bigger team. Some of us have already started packing bags, making sure we squeeze everything in and stay under 40 lbs. which can be a wee bit of a challenge for overthinkers like me. Regardless of who much overthinking we’re doing about those bags, we’re nearly on our way. On February 27th, we’ll be able to put everyone’s faces with the voices we’ve come to recognize from those conferences calls and get on a China-bound flight together.

Though our team numbers only 13 as we serve at an orphanage in Shaanxi, we know our team is exponentially bigger than that. Each one of the home teams of those 13 members from across the country makes this Visit and Serve team huge! What a comfort it is to know that while we may be the hands there doing the work through His grace, the rest of the body is supporting us and enabling us to be there. It’s so not just the 13 of us.

It’s not too late to be a part of the team. You may not be on that plane with us as we nervously chatter and try to cat nap as we’re able, but we want you there. And, you can be. We’re rallying our home teams to lift us up throughout our travel day February 27th-28th in very specific ways. Can you commit 30 minutes on that day to sit with us and advocate for us from your living room as you sip on a cup of coffee? Can you maybe do a harder thing and set your alarm to wake up in the middle of the night to do the same as we are still flying across the world?

Feel that nudge to join us? Email me. I’ll reply with some info for you and maybe my own form of nervous email chatter. Heading back to my daughter’s home city, meeting her ayis, holding the babies who are there waiting can produce some nervous chatter in me.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

An advocate

2.13.14

Qui Le 2It had been a rough few days. I had advocated for a little boy one time. A family stepped forward for him, traveled to China for him, and came home without him. Then, there I was, advocating for him again in a post on a Friday afternoon, after which I spent the following several days dealing with the repercussions of my words. Many were sympathetic (the oh-that-poor-boy crowd). Some wondered if my heartfelt post meant something else (the maybe-you’re-his-mom crowd). Many more simply wanted to know more (the tell-me-the-real-story crowd) mostly fueled simply by curiosity. But, there was one voice louder than the rest whose sharpness was draining my energy to advocate at all. By Tuesday morning, I was emotionally tired.

As I drove to the women’s Bible Study I was committed to leading that morning as a substitute for the regular leader, I prayed aloud with Lydia dancing in the backseat to Katy Perry’s “Firework” or some other deeply spiritual song, “God, you’ve gotta speak louder than the other voices I’m hearing and give me some very clear direction here because I really don’t know what my role is. Right now, I don’t even feel like I want to advocate any more for this kid or any other because I’m just tired of everything that goes with it. Lord, show me, please, what you want me to do.”

Zechariah’s visions. That’s what we were discussing that day, definitely not your typical Bible study. Think red horses, myrtle trees, horns, measuring lines. It’s deep (strange?) stuff, but the women, whom I didn’t know, were responsive, and we were moving right along with the lesson. I wasn’t expecting anything when we were directed to several different Scriptures and told to describe the benefits of God’s presence in the lives of His people.

We read John 14:26 – “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

Some women shared what the verse meant to them, and we were about to move on. And, then, it happened; God spoke through a woman whose name I don’t even know.

I like what my version has for that verse: “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Did she just say “advocate”? 

Here I was at a Bible Study no less, and I had essentially already forgotten the prayer I had prayed on my commute there. But, I remembered now, and He/she had my full attention.

I love that word advocate. It’s really such an emotionally laden word. I interpret it as meaning coming alongside, fighting for me, pleading my cause when I have no voice or no way to do it on my own. It’s active—He’s active so that I don’t have to be. It reminded me of Exodus 14:14 which says: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” If He’s willing to advocate for me, it means I’m significant and I’m worth it even when everything else says I’m not.

And, STOP. Answered prayer in only….59 minutes and 45 seconds. There it was.

It’s tiring by definition. It’s hard; if it were all easy, there wouldn’t be a need for it. It’s messy and involved and time consuming and sometimes lands me in challenging conversations. I will sometimes want to do it and other times wanna forget all about it and put my head under a pillow and hide because I’m weak and selfish and easily blown and tossed by the wind. But, I was called to do it because that little boy on the other side of the world has no other voice, and he’s worth it simply because of who he is and who He is.

I leave for China two weeks from today, serving with the team until March 9th and then staying a few extra days. Guess who I just was granted permission to visit before I head back to the states?

Yes, Lord. My job is not done until he has a family.

 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, Advocating, Orphans

He is there. He is here.

12.24.13

Christmas 2009. Four Christmases ago. I was a wreck. We were so close to finding our new daughter. I just knew it would be a few weeks after Christmas; I hoped it would be a few weeks after Christmas. I was filled with expectation that Christmas.

And, that meant that though I didn’t know who she was or where exactly she was, what she looked like or how old she was, I knew she was. I knew she was somewhere across the world, alone on Christmas, what turned out to be her first Christmas.

I was anxious and wondering and thinking all the time about her. Yet, there was something that gave me great peace.

God was there.

In Luke 2:6-20, Luke mentioned the manger three times. Why?

The manger was messy. It wasn’t what we picture and what our children play with as part of our little nativity sets they can hold in their hands. It wasn’t a symmetrical wooden contraption with a sweet bed of hay. It was more like a box looking thing or basin made out of clay mixed with hay or stones and held together with mud. All kinds of food for animals was put into it, not just nice yellow hay. It was dirty, likely moldy, smelly, not anything we’d want our child anywhere near.

And, God was there. Very literally, God was there.

As spunky and full of life as Lydia is now, there was a time that she was in a pretty messy place. I believe her orphanage was one of the better ones—her needs were met, and we’ve learned that there were quite caring women who took to her there. There was a wall of windows with natural light in the room where she lived 24-7. In that room were 40 cribs and a few toys for all to share to pass their days until they graduated to another room and then another. There were older children in that orphanage too, children we weren’t allowed to see. I wonder what their days were like.

I’ve heard a lot of stories, stories about adopted children who flinch when someone moves their direction in fear that they will be hit; children with flat heads who were never held; children who have come to accept that no one wants to bring home a child their age, only babies; children who suffer significant consequences from not having the medical treatment they needed earlier.
And, yet, I believe God is there.

God is not only not afraid to get his feet dirty; He is about getting His feet dirty. That’s what advent is all about, isn’t it? God coming down, the perfect to the broken, the holy to the unholy.

Psalm 34:18 tells us He’s close to the brokenhearted, and there are so many, so very many. I can only imagine that He is very close indeed to brokenhearted children—here and there—whether they are aware of their brokenness or not. He’s there.

I prayed for our daughter four Christmases ago, that He would be close to her, that He would remain close to her. That He would be tangibly felt in that room where she slept. That He would wrap His arms around her when she was cold. That He’d rock her when she needed comfort. That He’d be in the manger with her.

I know He was there.

And, somehow, in the dark places of orphanages around the world, I can’t explain how or what He always looks like there, but I believe that He’s there. In the warmth of the sun pouring in the windows, He comforted my child. In the smile of a nanny. In the gaze of another orphan. In the provision sent by charities around the world. In her broken heart—emotionally and literally.

Somehow, He was there.

Now, as my children listen to us read about His story every night, sing familiar and unfamiliar words together to prepare, sneak Hershey kisses in their mouths as we make reindeer eyes, and use entirely too much scotch tape on crafts and wrapping paper alike, He is here…and, He is there, somehow making an unholy place, holy.

That’s what advent is about. That’s what He’s about.

photos courtesy of KC Photography

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Orphans, words about faith

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