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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Archives for February 2016

Celebrating Chinese New Year

2.2.16

It’s the single most important holiday of the entire year there. Businesses close and trains literally overflow as people all over China journey home for Chinese New Year or Spring Festival. Despite the rising number of Starbucks scattered about big cities and iPhones all over, traditions not all that different from stockings hung by the chimney with care still abound.

In the weeks leading up to Spring Festival, families clean every corner of their homes to rid them of huiqi or unclean spirits that may have collected over the year and prepare for a new start. Bright red scrolls printed with poetic couplets about luck and fortune are posted proudly beside front doors. The sound and smell of fireworks to frighten evil spirits fill the air. Families gather together around the table for long noodles symbolizing long life and round dumplings shaped like the full moon symbolizing the family unit and perfection with a finale of a whole fish symbolizing abundance which is fully prepared but is not meant to be eaten.

Both families who are actually living in abundance and those who are not give special gifts packaged in 红包 or hongbao, a decorated red envelope. Anywhere between a few yuan to hundreds of yuan are put in these envelopes in lucky even number increments and given as sacrificial gifts typically from older people to younger ones. The recipients gather all their envelopes, put them under their pillows, and open them all 7 days later.

For 15 days centered around February 8th (where it falls this year), about 1.4 billion people (20% of the world) put everyday life on hold. The poor, the migrants, the businessmen, the party members, the students, young and old…it doesn’t matter who you are. The celebration of Spring Festival softens lines of distinction.

From where I sit right now, typing my thoughts from my favorite chair, I can see toy horses that my daughter carefully set up to stand together as a family. Her older brother seems to have a hobby of tripping over them, while her sister complains that they look like they’re staring at her. But, there they remain, none of us willing to break up the equine family. A child’s rocking chair sits closeby with a blanket piled up below it where she was snuggled up yesterday. I can see our family picture framed on our shelf—a mom, a dad, three white kids who will be taller than me by next week, and Lydia, our Chinese daughter.

Some years, our home has been seemingly covered in red paper decorations and all sorts of festive stuff in my efforts to pronounce Xīnnián kuàilè. I’ve made 4-foot long dragon cakes and sheep/goat/ram cupcakes (all with loads more sugar than the Chinese like). With a lot we have going on right now, I’m not sure how many lanterns and scrolls I’ll end up hanging. And, I can’t even wrap my head around making some sort of monkey-themed dessert this year. But, I’ve come to understand that celebrating Spring Festival in America as Americans who have a Chinese daughter doesn’t have to look like a Pinterest-worthy party. When we adopted our daughter nearly 6 years ago, we promised that we’d honor her history, a promise we take to heart; we did not promise to make dragon cakes and give out red envelopes to her first-grade class. There’s nothing wrong with those things; they can be ways to honor her history but so could reading a children’s book together and simple conversation.

I can’t give my family a Spring Festival experience like one they’d get in China. And, honestly, I don’t know if I’d entirely want to. But, as we eat Chinese takeout with chopsticks or read a silly picture book about a runaway wok, whatever pomp and circumstance we end up with for Spring Festival this year, I will be saying these words to my daughter:

You are Chinese. We see that. We know that. We love that about you. We are not Chinese. But, we love all things Chinese not because of loud fireworks or envelopes with money but because of you. You are what makes us love Chinese things. And, we’re so glad you are a part of our family.

Lydia with tiger hat

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: attachment, China, Living as a multiracial family

A girl advocates for herself

2.1.16

I could post pretty pictures. I could share how we witnessed how sweet this little girl was with younger children, how eager she was to please us during English class in October, how she gently accepted our attention and smiled all the time. Instead, I’ll let her speak for herself because her words are way more effective at communicating who she is than my words about her.

Little girl in pink - 1

Dear Aunt Kelly:
My name is –. I am 10 years old this year. I am a lively and lovely girl. I like to dance, sing, shoot the ball. I like to play games with the kids.

I would like to have a family. I would like to have a mom and dad, brother or sister, or brother and sister. I would like to sing with them, play games, play together, blow bubbles.

I will study hard. I can happily wait for my family’s arrival. I hope my new Mom and Dad come soon to pick me up. I love you!

12309630_10156407776005713_1083291543467633770_o

Interested in learning more about this little girl? She’s currently available for adoption through America World Adoption Agency. She’s “special focus” which means that any family, regardless of if they have any paperwork ready, could adopt her. Email the AWAA China team right now to learn more.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating

Extravagance {Disney Style}

2.1.16

We received the news about a year ago. 2016 was going to be the year of something grand. Nanma and Granddaddy were splurging big time in the form of a family adventure for all 17 of us.

A full year of planning. A full year of anticipation. A full year of excitement building. This past week, leaving just before our city was pummeled with snow, we left real life and gathered with family for some serious memory making.

Disney faves - 4
 

It was all for the kids…totally all for the kids. Really. 

Disney faves - 3
Disney faves - 2

All 17 of us singing the Mickey Mouse theme song together before boarding the first bus to the park. All the various daily costumery. The Mickey shaped waffles and ice creams. Standing in line to take pictures with characters who only use sign language. Seeing people’s faces when they asked how many were in our party. Trading pins every 5 minutes to build our own and everyone else’s varied collections. Singing “Let it Go” along with Elsa at the top of our lungs. Totally all for the 9 kids.

Disney faves - 1Disney faves - 9

Disney faves - 12Disney faves - 14

Memories were made. The kids had the time of their lives. And, yeah…I’ll admit it…so did we. It was an extravagant, lavish gift for our family from parents who know that all trips can’t be work, that families need to make the costly investment to go together and simply enjoy each other without burdens. That’s just what we did last week. We looked out on the masses together and said wow, and we held on to each other and smiled until our cheeks hurt, and we let go of all responsibility except the responsibility of relationships with each other and we connected and enjoyed a great example of God’s extravagant love for us that is not deserved and isn’t earned.

Disney crowd

Disney faves - 6Disney faves - 13

We came home to a driveway still covered in at least a foot and a half of snow. Our children have oodles of schoolwork their teachers are insisting they catch up on. And, Mark’s and my desks are piled up with things to do. Real life is still here. But, we’re loving the fact that we have about a dozen Mickey shaped rice krispie treats that we’re going to have for dessert tonight (maybe dinner?) as we recount again our favorite moments together over the past week and dream about our next trip…whenever that may be. Nanma and Granddaddy, we’re game whenever you want to take us again. It’s all for the kids, really, but we’re game.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: why can't they just stay little forever

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