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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Archives for January 2013

How to be an agent of change

1.10.13

I wrote something up last week. It wasn’t something I worked real hard to plan, just sort of rattled off about my own fail and what I had learned and hit “publish.”

I wasn’t expecting the response to it over the following few days–the ones that moved me the most were from women who had children they were not parenting–the birth mothers themselves.

Monday morning, 3 days after my post went up, I got a message on Facebook thanking me for my post and directing me to this status update from Parker Adventist Hospital in Colorado which included a link to my post:

At Parker Hospital, we just changed all our guidelines to discuss “patients pursuing an adoption plan” not how to care for “Birthmoms”- A woman is not the “Birthmom” to a child until she makes her decision final. We are working on shifting our words to reflect more accurately her decision process. This blog defines it well…

Forget popsicles for breakfast—that’s the way to start a day. I was so excited–not because of any glory to me because it wasn’t my blog post, my overthinking that led to that major policy change. No, no. It was the voices that went before me, the passionate ones who shared with the policy makers the same message over and over again and felt like they were banging their heads against the wall. They said, “nothing I do makes any difference,” “I don’t know why I try,” “This isn’t worth my effort.” But, seeds were planted and started to take root. I just got to be a part of the last step, the one that ushered in change.

That’s how you become an agent of change for whatever it is you are passionate about. You just keep on keeping on, long obedience in the same direction, even when it seems like it isn’t doing a thing. Your success as a change agent isn’t about an immediate response to your initiative; it’s not really anything about you. It’s just about doing what you are supposed to do and having others do the same. 

In response to all the comments on Parker Hospital’s Facebook page, the hospital itself responded:

spread the word – raise the bar for all hospitals, demand they educate their nursing staff and update their policies to reflect current practice! Know an OB nurse? CEO of a hospital a family friend? Ask them about their hospital’s protocol and how it embraces all parties involved! Point them to Parker Hospital . . . we would love to share this model with other hospitals!

It was the advocates for women considering adoption who went before me. It was my simple act of writing about my own fail and lesson learned. It was the people who read my simple words and shared them. It was the policy makers at the hospital who are now change agents themselves. Change begets change. 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption

How to start a Wednesday

1.9.13

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Lydia

Okay, Mom, fine, I’ll blog about it

1.8.13

It’s lovely, isn’t it? Coin pearls of all different shades. Every time I wear it, people ask about it. It really is pretty.

But, today, it’s my nemesis. 

It was around my neck this morning as I was all dolled up for Bible Study. Drop off Lydia to class. Off to lobby for an opening coffee. Off to classroom for lesson where a few women admired it. Off to sanctuary for lecture. Then, pick up Lydia in class, to car, and to store where I gathered a few new tops to try on in the dressing room where…I noticed I no longer had my lovely necklace around my neck.

Oh no. 

Stay here, Lydia (as if she’d notice that I step away for a few seconds when she was fully engrossed in Yo Gabba Gabba on my iPhone).

No sign of it on the store floor–and I really looked in addition to enlisting staff to help me too. I left my name and number and a description of my lovely necklace, and the ladies there promised they’d look for it. Back in the car. Back to the church. Retrace my steps all while holding Lydia still fully engrossed in whatever she could find on Netflix. Classroom to ladies room to sanctuary to parking lot. Nothing. Not a single coin pearl to be found.

Mom, remember that necklace you gave me with all the different color coin pearls? How hard would it be to find that at the pearl market again? I love it, but it’s gone. I’ve been looking for it for 45 minutes now, and I can’t find it anywhere.

What a relief when she said not to worry. She had an extra one that she had picked up for herself but she never wore. I could just have hers.

Sigh of relief. I could give up the search and take these tired and hungry girls home.

As I ran back to the car, I heard a little jingling noise which is when I looked down–right on down my tank top with a shelf bra that was layered under a cardigan, mind you–and saw it. Yeah, my lovely necklace had fallen into my shelf bra where apparently I must have some sort of nerve problem (?) and was all snuggled up in there while I was searching all over creation.

For those of you who think I just over think all day and write about my deep thoughts, there. I’m just a normal, frazzled mama with a lost necklace stuck in my bra. Go ahead, laugh at me like my mother did.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Uncategorized

What It Means to You {Jiayin Designs Contest}

1.6.13

They’re pretty, really really pretty. The charms, the dolls, the pearls, the handmade beads. They’re all really neat. And, I love being the first to admire them when the box with Chinese characters all over it arrives at my door.

But, that’s not why I do it. 
It’s the stories I get to hear that makes me willing to keep at it to keep Jiayin Designs going. The story of a foster mom who cried when she received her charm from the family adopting the child she cared for. The story of the husband who bought his wife who has been waiting to be a mama for so long a charm for Mother’s Day in anticipation of great things. The story of a big sister or a grandmother who learned about the new little one joining their family with the gift of a charm. 
Add to those stories the stories of the Chinese artists who laugh with joy every time they get a new order, so excited to have a way to provide for their families. And, the stories of provision for IECS staff through the profits from these sales. 
Yeah, that’s why I do it. Makes the little effort I put into it totally worth while. 
This month is a celebration in our story–in just a couple weeks, we will remember the day 3 years ago that we saw our daughter’s face for the first time. A couple weeks after that is when my mother gave me my first charm with my daughter’s Chinese name, a charm I wore everyday thereafter until we came home from China in our arms. 
In celebration of our story, I want to celebrate your stories.
I want to hear what your Jiayin charm means to you. Share the significance it has been to you or your family in a blog post, making sure to give the link to Jiayin Designs’ website (www.jiayindesigns.com) and Facebook page (www.facebook.com/jiayindesigns). Then, come back here before January 27th and share the link to the post below so we can all see it. I’ll check out every post and bring in some story-sharing experts (aka my mom and sisters most likely who wouldn’t be entering) to help me choose one blogger who particularly moved us through words and maybe even pictures who will win a custom charm of his or her choice, chain, and pearl (a total value of $80) AND a custom charm, chain, and pearl to give away to someone waiting for their story to begin–any mama waiting to bring their little one home (a total value of $160). 
I can’t wait to read your stories! 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: giveaways, Jiayin Designs

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I overthink everything. This blog is a prime example. Make yourself a cup of coffee and sit down for a read. Actually, make that a pot of coffee. There’s a lot of overthinking here.

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