My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Archives for 5.7.11

Celebrating Mother’s Day

It was a good question to help our kids feel loved. I get that.

“Go around and introduce your child and then say I love her because ____________”

I had about 30 seconds until I was up. I knew how I wanted to answer for each one of my kids. But, I wasn’t sure if I should “break the rules.” See, I have a fundamental issue with that question.

“This is David, and I love him because he’s really smart.”
“This is Emily, and I love her because she’s so kind and caring.”

I’m up. And, I played along.
“This is Drew, and I love him because he’s so silly and funny. And, this is Ashlyn, and I love her because she’s so helpful. And, this is Lydia, and I love her because she is mine.”

And, isn’t that how I should have answered it for all of them.

I recognize the need for my children to be affirmed—probably because I recognize my own need to be affirmed. Can you sense my husband’s head nodding through cyberspace? I have been known to ask, “Do you love me?” “Yes, I love you.” “But, what do you love about me?” It sounds self-centered—but he knows what I mean. I just want those words of affirmation.

But, what we were asked to answer had a fundamental flaw.

I don’t love Drew because he’s silly and funny. I don’t love Ashlyn because she’s helpful. I don’t love Evan because he’s sensitive and gentle. I don’t love Lydia because of her warmth or how she lights up a room. I don’t.

I love them because I’ve been called to love them. God has given them to me; and, in so doing, He has given me the very significant calling to love them. Sometimes my calling as a mother is easier than other times. But, regardless, I’m still called to love.

And, when I step back to consider my calling as a mother, I can’t help but think about God’s love for me as my heavenly Father. He doesn’t love me because of anything I do well. He doesn’t love me because I love Him. He loves me because I am His. Period. How would He have completed that sentence about me?

This Mother’s Day, I don’t want to celebrate me. (Yes, dear husband, despite how I’ve declared the entire weekend, Mother’s Day Weekend, I’m being honest.) Instead, I’m celebrating my calling, my calling to love these 4 children who call me Mama. I know I don’t always fulfill that calling well. In fact, I very often fail and feel unequipped and unable to do it well. But, I’m thankful that I have the best model of motherhood before me—a love that loves even when I turn away, a love that pursues me and advocates for me, a love that does not change when I change, and a love that whispers in my ear, “I love you because you are mine.”

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. Titus 3:4-5a

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Custom Blog Designs for The Sparrow Fund

Blogging. I’m into it. Remember this post?

And, if you are into it–or just want to be into it–you gotta have a cool blog. It represents you after all. And, well, we bloggers are all cool.

And, I’ve got just the person to help you with that. Diana Hansen, creative and crafty mother of 3 including Dori who was adopted from China in 2006, established Custom Blog Designs in 2008. Diana specializes in custom makeovers for Blogger blogs, although she offers other graphic services such as blog adjustments and maintenance, digital scrapbooking, and custom photo cards.

Here is what Diana had to say about her business:

After we adopted our third child, I discovered digital scrapbooking. I got the hang of it right away and started designing and selling digital templates. After I had been doing that for about 6 months, I got contacted by a friend from our July 05 LID adoption group. She knew of my design skills from being webmaster our adoption support group and from seeing my digital scrapbooking creations and asked me design her blog. Through much research and trial and error, I learned out how to customize a Blogger blog and Custom Blog Designs was born.

Designing blogs gives Diana the opportunity to use her gifts and talents and be creative while still being a mama–don’t we all long to do that? At Custom Blog Designs, she will create a unique and personalized blog design or graphic to your liking, so it really represents you. She has created nearly 500 designs in the 3+ years (um, yeah, she’s super productive and should give us all lessons on time management!), and each is unique.

Take a look at some of these – you might recognize a few! –

If you’ve been considering a blog makeover, contact Diana. And, if you haven’t been, ask some of your bloggy friends if you should (kidding…sort of). And, visit her facebook page too and personally thank her for what she’s doing to support adoptive families through giving 10% of all her business this month to The Sparrow Fund.

Please go see all the shops supporting The Sparrow Fund this month by clicking on the button below


TSF


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Women….sheesh

I went to a Mother’s Day function today.

If you happened to be a part of that function, it was very nicely done. The food spread was really nice. Thank you very much. And, you can stop reading now.

____________________________________

For the rest of you, what an awful time it was! I arrived with Lydia in tow, got a plate of sugary sweet goodies I really should be avoiding, a cup of coffee that I should also be avoiding, and looked around for where to sit.

I was reminded why wedding seating arrangements are good ideas.

I could not find a single woman I knew better than simply recognizing her face in passing. And, no name tags to help me. Hmm…. and, there it was – a nearly empty table. Only a classy looking grandmother and a 2 year old were there. It was my best bet…I thought.

“Do you mind if I join you?” “No, no, go ahead.”

Seconds later, mom came, and mom’s friend with her 2 year old. Then, another friend. And, they all started talking.

Like I wasn’t there. Really.

I chatted with Lydia and pointed out to her the pictures up front that she would find interesting.

And, they kept talking.

Okay, this is getting awkward. If they are not going to say anything to me at all, I need to try to look for a window of opportunity and try to break into the conversation. So, when I heard the words “Disney World,” you know I started talking. But, right as I did, another friend arrived. And, the window was closed as all their attention went right to her. And, there was no room for her. Okay, now this is really awkward. Clearly, I did not belong. Maybe I should offer to leave? No, that might be weirder. She pulled up a chair and started talking with their full attention.

How long do we have to sit here? Has it only been 10 minutes?

That’s when the hostess announced that the flowers in the center would be given to someone special at the table, the woman who had the most children. At this point, I’m thinking, “okay, here’s my chance.” Well, since all those women knew each other and their number of children, they turned to the grandmother and said, “Well, they are yours because you have 8 grandchildren.” No one asked me how many children I had.

Here’s my window. “I have 4 children,” I say proudly.

silence. stares. maybe I should’ve just stayed quiet.

“4?” one asks me. “Yup, 9, 7, 5, and 2.” “This is your 2 year old?” “Yup,” as I brush her hair from her face.

“Wow.” and another second of the staring.

(From what I gathered eavesdropping from 6″ away, they all had 2 kids each.)

Then, they just started talking again about Jamaica and restaurants and other such things. While I sat there with Lydia, my only friend at the table.

As soon as the program was over, seemingly hours later (okay, it was like 10 more minutes), one of the ladies announced at the table, “I’m treating everyone to lunch. Let’s go. Come on, my treat.” And, there was a mass exodus as they all left for their nice restaurant. And, there we were, right there at the table.

Now there’s some Mother’s Day love for ya.

At least they left the flowers for me…which I proudly picked up and are now sitting on my old kitchen table in my outdated kitchen.

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