I can clearly remember the feeling of being very, very pregnant and going to bed each night wondering if it was the last night I’d be pregnant. I was unsure of how to make plans on our calendar and pretty much kept it clear (“Well, I don’t want to commit to going out next week. I may be in the hospital having a baby that day.”). People called me and emailed me to find out if I was in labor yet…as if I’d keep that a secret.
That’s very much like how I feel right now. The office in China that handles adoptions puts out a list of newly available children for adoption about every 34 days…or so. We are now at day 46. Every night, I go to bed wondering if we will hear in the morning that the list will be out that day. I don’t know what plans to make because I wonder if we will be reviewing the file of a little girl who might become our daughter that day. I’m getting calls and emails from people asking if the list has come out, have we reviewed any files yet. For two weeks, I’ve felt anxious and on the edge of my seat, ready.
And, it’s quiet. Very quiet. (sigh)