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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Why I Do It

2.6.12

Every Sunday, after church, we eat a quick lunch and out we go. I leave loads of laundry to be folded, dirty dishes in the sink, and a husband I’d love to sit and talk to on a lazy Sunday afternoon. And, I take Ashlyn to Chinese school at MLCCC.

I sit behind her for 2 hours and listen to words I do not understand and then walk her down the hall to watch for another hour as she giggles along with 8 dark-haired beauties her age as they learn fan dancing and other Chinese traditional dances.

So, why do I do it week in and week out?

She wanted to.

We waited to bring our daughter home for a long time (3 years to be exact). During that time, Ashlyn fell in love with all things Chinese. Soon after we were home with her new sister, Ashlyn (age 6 at the time), asked me if she could learn Chinese.

Know what I said?

“I don’t think so.” (I know, mother of the year) I knew it would be hard. I thought it would be expensive. I knew it would mean a big commitment–frankly, a commitment for me that I didn’t want to make.

But, she didn’t let up.

“You know, you might be the only one there who isn’t Chinese.”

Didn’t matter. She wanted to do it. So, eventually, I caved. And, our Sundays changed.

And, in so doing, I found that this was where we were supposed to be. For Ashlyn. For our family.

 

When we walk through those doors every Sunday afternoon, we are reminded of a new community we now live in, one that looks different from us and speaks different from us, but one that has welcomed us in.

And, I’ve learned that as much as our Chinese daughter is now American, we’ve also all become just a little bit Chinese. And, I’m loving my Chinese-ness.


Now, I’m one of those adoptive parents who is signing her child up early for language classes. Lydia will be 3 this March. And, as soon as her afternoon nap schedule is done (no need to haste the day!), she’ll be a part of the preschool program there. Maybe she’ll learn a few words, phrases, and a song or two. But, more importantly, she’ll know too that she’s a part of this community. And, I know that her knowing that and building relationships here is way more significant for her cultural identity formation than all the festivals we could attend (like the one pictured here at Villanova University this past week), a dragon cake every year, and a library of wonderful children’s books (want proof?).

Laundry and dishes can wait. Sunday afternoons are for community.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, China

Comments

  1. Sophi Belle says

    2.6.12 at 5:35 pm

    It’s nice that she wants to learn a language at such an early age. Lovely photos! :)

  2. Kaylee says

    2.6.12 at 5:44 pm

    LOVE it!

  3. Lee and Sarah VanGrunsven says

    2.7.12 at 7:30 pm

    I agree with Kaylee, LOVE IT :)

  4. Sis says

    2.7.12 at 7:32 pm

    This is SOOOO precious! I adore the last picture! She looks like she is having a great time!

    Awhile back you posted on my blog-
    Jan 13, 2012 06:15 PM

    It’s the best place to be — open, honest, vulnerable. One day, your child will cherish being able to come back and read your thoughts and your struggles and know how much you wanted her, dreamed of her, prayed for her.

    Keep struggling forward,
    Kelly

    I just wanted to let you know that I have read and reread that over the past few weeks and it has brought me such encouragement. Thanks for you insight and your words. Thanks for taking the time to write them. I needed them more then you know. I hope you have a wonderful day!

    Sis
    http://adoption-thecrookedroad.blogspot.com

  5. Love is all you need says

    2.7.12 at 8:12 pm

    That is awesome! You do get the mom of the year award!

  6. Dumb Mom says

    2.9.12 at 2:37 pm

    Good for your daughter! And go for you for supporting her! It’s hard to change, but sometimes when you do you really do realize it’s exactly perfect!

  7. Beloved says

    2.9.12 at 5:30 pm

    Coolest thing I’ve read today! WTG, mom. How much richer are you all for the experience? It’s certainly not the same, but when I married someone from the Caribbean, I wanted him to enjoy the food he’d grown up with, and I wanted to be the one making it. Almost 20 years later, members of his family expect me to make certain things. YES!!!
    Keep up the good work.
    Peace and good to you.

  8. Jessica @FoundtheMarbles says

    2.9.12 at 7:01 pm

    Those photos are FABULOUS! What a beautiful way to celebrate your family.

  9. Heather says

    5.14.12 at 2:19 pm

    I absolutely love this! I will be checking to see if we have anything remotely like this in our area (although I highly doubt it). What a wonderful way to honor her heritage! :)

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