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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Easter: I remember

4.29.11

It’s Thursday night. No, it’s actually Friday now. 5 days after Easter. I’ve been thinking about writing a post about Easter, had some thoughts stewing. But, now, it’s 5 days later. The week has been busy as we prepare to roll out the big May fundraising drive for The Sparrow Fund while still managing We Are Grafted In as well as Jiayin Designs as well as editing part-time. Oh, add parenting 4 children in there still. Busy, busy week. And, sadly, I feel like everyone including myself has moved on from Easter. There are just a few decorations still cluttering up my dining room that need to be put back downstairs until next spring. Easter candy still sitting out now is getting tossed into the trash can. Easter themed coloring pages stuck to my frig are being replaced by generic spring pages or Mother’s Day themed ones.

And, that’s it. Easter’s over.

Sad.

I am one who celebrates dates (if you didn’t already know that). I like to recognize significant dates for our family and, of course, I then blog about them–birthdays, anniversaries, referral day, the day we received Lydia…I note them on my calendar and I anticipate them, plan for them, prepare for them. And, yet, sadly, I posted nothing for Easter, the most important date in my life, the one that gives the rest of our important dates meaning. As each day this week passed without an Easter post, it just made me think more about it. And, maybe that’s good after all.

I guess you could say that as believers, we celebrate Easter everyday really. Without Jesus’ resurrection, Christianity would not even exist. Jesus would have been a prophet, a really good man who had great ideas, a gifted teacher/preacher, a healer, a miracle worker, a man who stood up what was right and good…but He would not have been God. But, because of Easter, because He actually took the sin of all mankind…my sin…and took every last one–that had been from the beginning of time and that will be until the end of time–to the cross. He took them all on Himself and died. And, then He conquered death so that we through faith in Him can also conquer death–forever. Eternal life. That’s Christianity. That’s Easter. That’s what allows me to fall to my knees in humility, recognizing that even the best obedience of my hands does not appear before His throne, only what Christ has done for me. And, I am thankful. An overwhelmed kind of thankful.

I don’t feel bad putting the Easter fluff away. I don’t like pastels or bunnies. And, I’m pretty tired of stepping on half pieces of plastic eggs and finding random strands of Easter grass.

But, thankfully, that’s not Easter.


April 24th was over 5 days ago. But, there really is nothing magical about that day. Christ didn’t actually come back to life on April 24th. But, we set that day, a day, aside every year–people do around the world–those who follow Christ and even those who don’t–to remember what Christ did on that Easter day 2,000 years ago.

And, I remember.

I enjoyed the traditions of dying Easter eggs and sharing the story of Easter again with my kids. I enjoyed a family meal made special for us by my mother-in-law. I enjoyed watching our children run around on that beautiful warm day hunting for plastic eggs filled with melted chocolate candy. I love traditions. But, I love them not simply because they are fun but because they help me remember.

And, that remembering goes far beyond one day of traditions.

I pray that I would be reminded of Easter everyday and that it would be more real to me everyday than the significant dates in our family and in our children’s individual stories.

And, as we celebrate those dates throughout the year, may they always bring us back to Him.

*I decided to post a different set of pictures with this post. Instead of posting pictures of all the Easter traditions, I am posting pictures of a quilt of Lydia’s special dates made by Mark’s mom and given to her this Easter. A wonderful tangible reminder and a special keepsake for her of her story and God’s hands over it all.*

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Lydia, words about faith

Doing a Lot of Thinking Tonight

3.1.11

We have our 1-year post placement visit coming up on March 9th. I can’t believe it has nearly been a year that Lydia has been our daughter. And, her second birthday, her first birthday home with us, is the day after that.

As part of our post placement report that will get sent to China, we need to provide some pictures of Lydia, one of which has to show her with both parents. So, on Saturday, we handed the camera to Ashlyn who was all to eager to take our expensive piece of equipment she usually can’t touch and start pushing buttons like crazy. Honestly, she didn’t do that bad.

Tonight, I can’t stop looking at pictures and I’m just remembering and thinking and thanking God that though this year has been a real challenge as I am in the process of still learning how to parent 4 very different children while also being faithful as a wife and as a daughter of the King, we have come a long way.

He is faithful when I am not. He has a plan for me, one that is perfect and brings Him glory and makes me more like Him, when I can barely see past tomorrow. He is working in this family, through this family, and for this family.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Lydia, words about faith

Just Tell Me What to Do and I’ll Do It

2.23.11

I’m a rule follower. I like having rules, directions, step-by-step instructions. I’m the type of person who reads the manual, who follows a recipe precisely. I’m comfortable that way. Maybe it’s comfortable because if anything goes wrong, I can just say, “It’s not my fault! I did what I was supposed to do!”

How I long for step-by-step instructions as a mom. I often wish there were rules set in stone that I could claim, some recipe I could follow for total successful motherhood.

Instead, I have these —

“You can never spoil an infant. If he cries, he needs something. Hold him, feed him, etc.”
“Do not hold him all the time. You will train him to only fall asleep with help.”
“Don’t use the tv as a babysitter. It’s fills their heads with garbage.”
“Every mom needs a break in order to be a better mom. Just put a show on for an hour in the afternoon to get some time to yourself.”
“Wake up early before the children wake up so that you can spend time with God and prepare for a new day.”
“Sleep when your child sleeps. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Do not force your kids to memorize Scripture. It’s legalistic and will push them away.”

“You have to give your kids a good foundation and make them memorize verses.”
“They need to have first time obedience. Period.”
“Expect children to act like children. Give second chances and grace.”
“It is a priority to teach your kids to respect you.”
“It is a priority to teach your kids to trust you and consider you their closest confidant.”

You get the idea. These are just ones that come quickly to mind, some of the rules I’ve heard that are a bit more general. Some “rules” are more specific, directed at one of my children specifically or given in response to a specific situation. Some “rules” sound great and worked perfectly for the family sharing it, but just don’t work with my kids or with me. Some “rules” may work but I find myself wondering “why am I doing this?” Some “rules” may work at a different time or place, but are just not appropriate for us right now. And, some “rules” I just don’t think should be rules at all.

As much as I like formulas, recipes, step-by-step instructions, and rules, one thing I’ve been learning over the years with now 4 kids living in my home and growing up under my care is that there just isn’t any exact formula. After all, we are not meant to follow a, then b, then c. We are meant to follow Jesus. And, He may call me to do one thing for one of my children one day and do another thing for that child a different day. He may call me to do one thing for one of my children and another thing for one of my other children. And, just when I think I’ve figured out how to manage one of my kids, He humbles me by having them respond in a way I was not expecting or say something they’ve never said before. And, then, my “plan,” my “rules,” my “method” are shaken a bit.

Instead of trying so hard to come up with the best parenting methods and feeling guilty when I fail and proud when I taste success, I want to be a mom who knows who Immanuel is, “God with us.” I want to live like God is with me. Because, He is. I want my sighs of frustration and my “ugh” noises to be heard less and my whispers under my breath to my God–“Lord, show me your way. Guide me” to be heard more. I want to learn to stop looking for instructions and giving instructions long enough so that my ears can hear a voice behind me say, “This is the way; walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21).

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: words about faith

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I overthink everything. This blog is a prime example. Make yourself a cup of coffee and sit down for a read. Actually, make that a pot of coffee. There’s a lot of overthinking here.

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