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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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How to serve my country {award-winning guest post}

5.25.14

Sevenly posterI have a poster in my room that says, “You don’t need a reason to help someone.” It reminds me that it’s not just me in the world and not everything is for me.

I can serve my country by serving others. Our country was started to help others. Our country is about helping others, loving others, and serving others. That could be giving homeless children warm food or it could be as little as picking up a piece of trash so someone else doesn’t need to. Some people might think, “Make a meal? That uses so much time. I could be doing something useful. I don’t want to help someone!” I want to say something to the people who think that: people matter! Life is not fair, and that’s okay! You might be helping someone when you don’t even know it. Sometimes my mom says, “Can you clean up the toys?” My brother says, “But, I didn’t do it!” Then, my mom says, “I didn’t do it either, but I am helping.”

Just like my poster says: you don’t need a reason to help someone. You can serve your country today by helping someone in big or little ways.

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Memorial Day post pic

Ashlyn is a Raudenbush rockstar, leading the Raudy kids as the second born and oldest girl with growing wisdom. She loves reading books and writing her own, playing softball, creating and running her own business (check out Bead it for Disney), playing flute, and growing in her faith. She’s never been to China but loves that her parents go there and is hoping to stowaway in one of their bags (or actually buy a plane ticket) and join them next spring. She can also say she’s met the Mayor and a whole bunch of other important people because she just won 2nd place in a district-wide essay contest and is now $50 closer to that trip to China.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: guest post, why can't they just stay little forever

Once upon a time until forever

5.13.14

We were just snuggling up in my favorite chair to read together. A few pages into some silly old book about the Jetsons that she dug out from the shelf, I found myself skipping words and wondering how long I’d be sitting there killing time. She joined me in corporate loss of interest and shuffled through a stack of books to find another, landing on one about adoption that I don’t even like and have kept only as an example. Great. I had this book in my own stack of books next to my desk, not with her books, but she found it and now wanted to read it. I decided reading an in-the-moment edited version was better than the message that could be sent if I said no. And so I read, moving quickly, changing words as we went, and closing the cover in record time.

She didn’t seem affected and just nestled in under my arm and chit chatted about seemingly silly things. Sandwiched between observations about the cats and requests for the iPad, she threw this one in with a big smile on her face:

Tell me the story of when I came out of someone’s belly.

You mean your China mommy’s belly?

Yeah, I want to hear the story. Start with Once upon a time…ok?

While Mark was sleeping on the other side of the world, the place where her story began, here I was facing perhaps the most challenging request she’s ever made of me. Sitting comfortably in my favorite chair on the prettiest day of spring yet and being asked to tell my daughter her own story is infinitely harder than all her midnight requests for more water waking me from a sound sleep put together.

I looked right into her eyes, brushing her hair from her forehead and I told her her story, starting with “Once upon a time” just as she had requested. She smiled the whole time as I told her things I know because I just know like how her China mommy’s belly grew and grew and how she felt her kick and twirl inside her because I bet she was a little monkey even then. I moved to what I know universally to the little we know more specifically, giving her what I felt like her little 5-year-old heart needed. She added in a few details she knew herself that she has learned along the way as I’ve looked for opportunities for openness, and I affirmed her as she did.

Oh yes, the lady with a ponytail walked into the room holding you and your eyes were so big and I thought at that moment that I was looking at the most beautiful baby in the whole world.

She told me to keep going when I thought I was finished, urging me to continue until I took that story right up to today, summing up several years in a few sentences that included things like moving from a crib to a big girl bed and then another bed as we made the playroom into her new bedroom. At a loss of something more to say when we got to present day, I paused and wondered if I should tack on a The End or something but feeling like it just wouldn’t be the right words. Instead, she nestled in closer and smiled even bigger and ended my story of her story herself

And they all lived happily ever after.

And, then we just sat for a while, the quiet interrupted occasionally by another funny observation about a stuffed turtle toy or the marble tower she was going to build until she jumped up and bounded onto the next thing.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, Lydia, why can't they just stay little forever

It’s Mother’s Day

5.11.14

I wasn’t expecting a very good day.

When he told me the dates for his May trip, I wasn’t happy. You’re leaving me to parent alone on Mother’s Day? Really?

How easy it is for me to get stuck on thoughts that are all about me. I was anticipating an emotional rain cloud much like the one Eeyore brings with him. All my friends are getting special treatment and a day off today. Everyone else is receiving flowers and not doing dishes and packing lunches like I will be doing.

But, I woke up to a room flooded with sunshine and children bouncing around the house as they looked outside to see real life truck transformers that will become ferris wheels and carousels before our very eyes over the next 12 hours. I was sequestered to my bedroom while a 10 year old worked some magic in the kitchen and I was summoned to this.

mother's day breakfast

More sunshine poured into our home through emails in my inbox as I got my first glimpses of the reason why Mark is not home today.

English night 1 2014

English night 1b 2014

And, my heart swelled with pride for this man I get to stand beside and for the children who made this often self-centered woman into a mother.

It’s no day off for me today. I’m spending the afternoon taking the girls to Chinese school. The sink will still be full with dishes with I get home, tangible reminders of the happy feast little hands prepared for me. I’ll scrub them with thanks as the children gather at our front windows marveling at the sights and sounds of a carnival-to-be. Then, we’ll head out for dinner and maybe have some ice cream afterwards because that’s what we do.

Today is a good day, a very good day.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: holidays, why can't they just stay little forever

Girl time

4.18.14

We are a family that loves tradition. We take very seriously God’s call to remember, and traditions help us do just that. They are a sort of Sabbath for us, providing an opportunity to step back from our normal busy lives and celebrate what God has done for His people and for us specifically.

When Evan was nearing a very significant birthday that would take him from one digit to two, we decided that we’d start a tradition of a little surprise getaway alone with Mom or Dad when each child turned 10. Mark took Evan, a big chocolate lover, to Hershey, PA for his man weekend, a surprise that included a Hershey bar with a golden ticket. Ashlyn’s been anticipating her time away ever since. With snowmageddon this year, a marriage retreat, and two trips out of the country, her getaway was two and a half months after her actual birthday. But, that didn’t matter at all when I showed her folded clothes lined up perfectly by day and purpose on her bed and handed her a suitcase.

I wanted to do something different for Ashlyn’s trip. So, I chose to study God’s word with her, a girl who loves to learn just like her mother. I chose Esther. It’s the perfect book to study with a young girl—an adventure, a romance, a mystery complete with cliffhangers, a villain and a hero and…of course…Esther, an orphan who becomes a Queen who changes the world. It’s the perfect book to invite conversation about standing up for what is right, having courage despite fear, living wisely, and choosing to be a part of God’s Kingdom work. All that in the context of a book that doesn’t actually mention the name of God a single time but has His name written all over it as it overflows with His sovereignty and redemption.

esther working on study

We feasted on calamari and New York strip steak and talked about the king’s feasts. We got the red carpet (white robe?) treatment and Ashlyn got her first manicure and pedicure complete with mother-daughter matching blue and purple polish, during which we talked to the spa ladies about what it would be like to get beauty treatments for a year like Esther and the other young women got in preparation to meet the king. We went swimming in a heated pool and talked about ripple effects. And, we decorated a t-shirt with Sharpies and rubbing alcohol and talked about how something little and seemingly plain can become something really big and exciting.

Esther spa

esther nails

esther tshirt

She opened up about some of her own stuff with me. And, she taught me a thing or two as we sat with Bibles opened over six meals together. Isn’t that just how God works?

esther together outside

Ashlyn and I, with our “ebenezers,” matching necklaces from Compelled Designs

Since Ashlyn is currently Insta-obsessed (go follow her at ashlyn124—shameless plug for her Instagram feed that currently features more images from Frozen than anything else), I jumped right in there with her, posting lots of pictures to Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter while we were away. That led to some requests for the study I used. So, I edited it after our “trial run” for other mamas to use with their girlies for sweet times together like ours. Here it is at no charge to you. Just promise to come back and let us know how it went and how God blessed you during your time together and after—and maybe post some pictures on Instagram and tag us. That would rock.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: why can't they just stay little forever

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