I have a confession. There are moments that I find myself thinking: What in the world am I doing? Those moments could be around our dinner table when literally four people are speaking at once and no one seems to listening to any of it. They could be when one of those four people believes it is essential to correct some seemingly insignificant detail in someone else’s story. They could be when feet hit the stairs hard to make a point and a door gets slammed. It’s there, in that space that I hear that voice in my head saying: Who are you to sit with families, hear their stories, and seek opportunities for connection?

I was there the other day, listening to that message, wondering how people might see me differently if they were sitting beside me.

No screens. Find something else to do. There’s plenty of options. Go find one, preferably by yourself for a while. 

I don’t remember what the other three found to occupy them. But, Lydia asked for crayons. Not long later, she handed me this. She had no agenda, no hidden motive, seemingly no point she wanted to make. She just decided to draw it—our family tree. Happy with the finished product, she wanted to share it.

She showed me the title in the center—Family tree—and made sure I noticed that there were six flowers on the tree for each one of us. She pointed out the roots reaching down deep to make the tree strong. And, she read the words aloud: Familys still have to grow more love togeter always. 

{sigh}

You know what? I’m okay with the loud dinners and disagreements and corrections. They don’t disqualify me to do what I do. Navigating them by grace to grow more love together always qualifies me for what I do.

Not until you’re 30. I know you’ve heard us say it. I’ll let you in on a little secret—we don’t really mean it. Maybe you already knew that which is why you felt able to take the risk to ask me to talk about dating.

There’s so much to talk about really. But, it doesn’t all need to be talked about now. You’re new to this, and we’re new to this (not dating…we’ve been doing that for a long time. We’re new to parenting a kid interested in dating.) I’m going to keep it simple now—like Dating 101—knowing that we’ve got lots of time for Dating 201 and 301 and so on.

1. Dating is a good thing. We’ve joked about not wanting any of you to date for decades. That could lead you to think that we think dating is a bad thing. We don’t. Dating is good because relationships are good. God made us to need relationship and connection with other people. Your desire to date and connect more with other people is part of living out how He made you.
2. I want you to learn about you. You told me about how you felt when you got the envelope that you knew wo uld tell you if you were accepted into Junior National Honor Society. You felt your heart beat fast and a heaviness in your chest as you anticipated opening it. You might feel some of those same things when you think about dating someone. I want you to study yourself and learn what it is that you feel and do because I want you to be an expert at discerning the difference between being interested in dating in general and being interested in a relationship with someone specifically. There is a difference.
3. We will have rules. We don’t know what they are yet because we haven’t needed to make them yet. But, my guess is that when we do, they will be different than rules your friends have. The rules aren’t because we want to limit how much fun you have or keep you from growing up. We will give you rules because we want to give you very clear boundaries so that you know that within those boundaries you are most safe. Within those boundaries, you will still have freedom to be you and grow into the you you will become. We hope that the boys you date will also have clear boundaries, but they may not which means that you have to use a lot of wisdom to discern if dating them at all is a good choice. We need discernment too so we can help you make that choice.
4. We are your best resource. My guess is that boys are a pretty popular topic of conversation among your girlfriends. That’s fun. You can ask them questions; but my guess is that they have more questions than answers. You can ask Google like we do for most things, but Google doesn’t care about like you like we do. We are your most invested, most dependable resource. Just come to us. Talk to us. We are for you and love talking to you about everything from kitty cat antics to boys.

These pictures apparently were posted with a Chinese news story about the first day of school. I’m well aware that the friend who sent them to me this morning was mocking me a little due to the fact that I confided in him that I parked our minivan outside my son’s kindergarten play yard during recess some days so that I could watch him and make sure he was okay.

Yes, these pictures made me laugh. And, yes, hiding in bushes to spy on your child is a bit over the top. But, you know what? Every child likes knowing there’s someone pining for them in one way or another while they are at school. And, if he had recess in 10th grade, you may just find me parked by the school somedays once again.

Mock me if you will. I’m a good mom.

Every member of Team Raudy played just as expected yesterday and this morning. One gnashed teeth and clearly determined that first-day pictures are unacceptable. Another asked the same question about how to do things today 20 times. Another organized and labeled not only the binder and notebooks in said child’s bag but in other bags as well. The one remaining waffled between serious and dimples and held my hand just a little bit tighter.

Every year it’s the same. Except it’s not because they are all one year older which means all my own quite predictable big feelings on this day are all the bigger.

But, today is today, not tomorrow. While they are all going out to three different places for a 1/4 of their days, they’re still all mine.

God, plant in his heart great expectation, that he would know that there are good things in store for him and that knowledge would change the way he lives everyday.

God, as she grows in independence, reveal to her her need to depend on you and teach her what that looks like and how it can bring her joy and security.

God, give him opportunities this year to better learn experientially how valuable he is and how he is able to bless others through relationship, mercy, and laughter.

God, this one. You knew her and held her before I did. This year, help her connect the dots to see your hand of favor on her despite hard things and use that to make her heart more sensitive to those you’ve called her into connection with.