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Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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For Pastors on Mother’s Day

5.11.13

for pastor's on mother's dayTomorrow is Mother’s Day. I know you know that already. It’s been on your calendar all year.

Moms are going to come to your Sunday services tomorrow wearing pretty dresses. Some will have been served breakfast in bed; some simply the perfect cup of coffee. Some will have received flowers already that morning. Some will be looking forward to children coming home that day to take them out for lunch. Some will be looking forward to phone calls, hugs, kisses, crayon drawings and homemade cards.

But, Mother’s Day isn’t always that pretty.

There will be women in your church service tomorrow who are aching to become mothers. Some of those women are struggling to make it day-by-day as they endure infertility treatment. Some of those women are single and long to be married and wonder if they will ever have the joy of being a mother.

There will be some women in your church service tomorrow who are mothers but not parents, women who have placed children in other families to be raised by other mothers. They may not look or feel like mothers; they may struggle to define who they are.

There will be some women in your church service tomorrow who were mothers for a short time and didn’t consider themselves that at all, women who ended their pregnancies and motherhood through an abortion and now wonder what life would have been like had they made another choice and chosen life for their child.

There will be some women in your church service tomorrow who are broken mothers, mothers whose relationships with their children are strained at best, mothers who haven’t spoken to their grown children in months or even years, mothers whose children are in rehab or prison or who knows where.

There will be some mothers in your church service tomorrow who are divorced from their children’s father and who are tired, so very tired, whose little ones may not even know it’s Mother’s Day at all.

There will be people in your church service tomorrow who have lost their mothers, people who still have their mothers but have been hurt by them.

And, all those people? They’ve had Mother’s Day on their calendars all year too. But, they aren’t coming to church dressed in their prettiest clothes ready to stand to be recognized. Instead, they wonder if they should come at all. Some are ashamed. Some are resentful. Some are full of grief. Some are angry at the mothers around them, you for pointing them out, and God Himself. Some are simply sad and have already put tissues in their purses in anticipation of the day.

The ones coming to church in their best with smiles on their faces really don’t need to stand for recognition or be publicly thanked. They’ll get all that elsewhere. It’s the others who need you this Sunday. Speak for them.

To the women who are celebrating this Mother’s Day as mothers for the first time, know that we celebrate with you. 

To the women who serve day in and day out to little ones, cleaning noses and bottoms and sippy cups and car seats, know that we applaud you and support you.

To the women who work outside the home to provide for their families, know that we honor you for all that you carry.

To the women who have been celebrated by their families already today or will be later today, know that we take joy in that with you.

To the women who are not yet mothers and who long to be, whose hearts are heavy with that desire today, know that we walk with you through whatever God calls you to today and for days to come.

To the women who wonder what life would be like if they were mothering now the child who could have been theirs, know that we want to hold your hand and encourage you.

To the women who are separated relationally with painful distance between you and your children, know that we hurt with you and pray for reconciliation and trust for you that there is hope for just that.

To the women who are mothers here who haven’t had the recognition from their children and feel forgotten, know that we remember you.

To those who have been hurt by their mothers in some way, who find this day a painful reminder of that hurt, know that we acknowledge your pain and want to offer hope for restoration to you.

To those who are watching their mothers grow older and change or who are grieving the loss of their mothers, know that we grieve with you and pray for comfort for you.

It’s a big day. It’s your challenge…privilege…to communicate God’s love to everyone in your church tomorrow. HE will meet each one just where they are and speak the words they need to hear; don’t stand in the way of that.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: parenthood, Uncategorized, words about faith

our Joshua call

4.11.13

IMG_6424The Lord spoke, and our ears listened.

“Mark and Kelly, my servants who had done the work for years have completed their mission. Now, I’m giving you the mission.

Now, therefore, arise. Go across the world, you and the servant teachers I will give you, into the land I’m calling you to.

Every place there that the sole of your foot will tread upon I will bless for my name’s sake as I did before. And, as you take those first steps, dream big because there is no limit to the territory open to you.

Nothing will get in your way—not lack of funding or manpower, not persecution (which you will face), nothing on this earth. There is nothing that can thwart my work in and through your life. I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.

Be strong and courageous for you will be doing Kingdom work, leading my children to me so they will embrace the life I have for them now and for eternity.

You need only be strong and very courageous, being careful to trust and obey as you go. Do not turn to the right or to the left, then you will have success beyond what you can imagine.

Speak truth. Meditate on it day and night so that you know it by heart and are equipped to obey. Then your way will be clear before you, and you will prosper in my economy.

Let me make it clear to you—you are to be strong and courageous. Don’t be overwhelmed. Don’t be discouraged. Don’t give up. For the Lord your God, the One who sets each step before you is with you wherever you go.”

The Lord is speaking. We are listening.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Uncategorized, words about faith

The Middle Man and Sahara Sams

3.29.13

Gifted passes to an indoor water park in NJ + a day off of work and school + Drew’s 7th birthday = the perfecta trifecta….or the perfect storm?

Sahara Sam’s is pretty awesome. The kids literally jumped up and down with their hands in the air and threw some high fives in there for good measure when we told them we were going the night before. But, here’s the thing–we weren’t the only ones telling their kids they were going the night before.

Oh. my. word.

By the time the place cleared out a bit and half of New Jersey had left for the day, I was able to pull out my camera to take a few pics.

Sahara Sams indoor waterpark in New Jersey

Having just seen a glimpse of the crowd, you may understand why the following picture features what’s pretty much right in front of you as you enter the water park (and why it had quite a long line).

Sahara Sams indoor waterpark New Jersey

Of course, that’s just for the adults. The kids are way too busy enjoying the attractions to need any respite.  And, somehow, the crowds didn’t bother ours one bit (especially since the rules were a bit more lax than our pool where Drew and Lydia are required to wear life jackets). See the joy of kids with the freedom to go under water with a gazillion other people without a life-saving device attached to them?

Sahara Sams3

Sahara Sams4

 

Though I was tempted to find the least crowded spot in the park and plant myself there for the rest of the day, I quickly realized that that spot might not be the most comfortable place for me.

Sahara Sams7

 

So, I gave in and joined my older 3 in line for Mount Kilimanjaro, the longest line in the whole stinkin’ place, and the line that moved even slower than it should have given the middle school set who kept budging in line. The lines were a bit of a free for all once you got to the top of the platform here. Without even partaking in the adult respite beverages, I was able to defend our position, however, making my children proud.

Sahara Sams5

I confess, the slide was pretty awesome. I loved it. My older 3, however, claimed they went upside down and wouldn’t do it again and somehow we ended up doing the lazy river about 100 times. They’re still talking about how I defended our position in line though. Yeah, I’m pretty much super mom.

Crazy loud. Super crowded would be an understatement. 90-minute drive each way. Obnoxious middle schoolers trying to sneak into line. Tiny lockers that were sold out. A perpetual line for bathrooms and dressing rooms. But, totally worth giving up our day for. My middle man, the one known for claiming no one plays with him or pays attention to him, was the happiest man in the world.

Sahara Sams8

After dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger on the way home and presents and brownies at home, he told us it was his best birthday of his whole life.

Now, Mark and I just have to sleep it off.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Drew, Uncategorized, why can't they just stay little forever

The little I know

2.5.13

The expectant mom I had posted about weeks ago should be having her baby soon. But, I really don’t know more than that. 
A friend had rushed to get a homestudy completed and had been one of the families counselors showed this mom. She showed me her profile, eager for feedback and any suggestions and more eager still to become a mom again herself. She did such a good job telling their story in pictures and word alike, assuring this young mother that they would love and care for her child. How hard to have to put all that somehow onto a two-dimensional file, all their years of infertility, tears, heartache, and dreams now transferable as a pdf file via email. 
I know the ache she has, the ache to hear another child call her mama, the ache to have a child on each hand. I know the battle within as she desires contentment but sits at dinner unable to look past an empty chair. I’ve been there too. And, I’m so glad that my arms are full. Where she is right now, where I once was, it’s not an easy season to endure.
She heard a few days ago that “they weren’t what she was looking for.” In one brief email and a phrase not unlike that an actor hears after an audition, her dreams of becoming a mommy again in only a couple weeks are over. The carseat that had been cleaned off will go back to storage and wait again quietly, collecting new dust until another day.
If I worked at it, I might be able to find out a bit more. But, I won’t. I pray she has found what she was looking for, hopefully that being the support she needs to parent this little person who has been growing within her. But, if she has made the hard choice to allow another to parent her child, I am praying now for her as she moves from being an expectant mom to a birth mom and the deep emotional impact that has as well as the couple as they prepare to move from one season to another, as their waiting ends and dreams begin.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Uncategorized

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