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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Just in case she ever wonders

8.24.14

I finished it. It was harder than I thought, yes. But, it turned out better than I thought.

Just like the three that went before her, I presented it to her on the eve of her first day of school.

Lydia just in case you ever wonder1

And, then we read it and ooo-ed and ahhh-ed over glimpses of her childhood…since she’s all grown up now, you know.

Lydia just in case you ever wonder2

Lydia just in case you ever wonder3

Lydia just in case you ever wonder4

It by no means tells her whole story. But, it’s a great way to keep telling her her story and keep dreaming about what the rest of the story may be.

Lydia just in case you ever wonder5

The kindergarten tradition is now complete. {sigh}

Lydia just in case you ever wonder6

Lydia just in case you ever wonder7

Glad they keep me laughing or I’d probably just sit around and cry tonight.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Lydia, Traditions, why can't they just stay little forever

Land of the free

5.26.14

Memorial Day post pic 2Memorial Day. Pools everywhere open for the season. Grills are fired up. Sparkles are sparkling. That’s what it’s always been—a day off and a homecoming party for our good friend summer. I wouldn’t say I grew up without a patriotic heart; I knew all the words to the national anthem and belt out the alto part with my sisters. But, Memorial Day was more about burgers and hammocks than the red, white, and blue.

This weekend marks my 37th Memorial Day. Along the journey of the last several, my heart swelled for those stars and stripes and all they represent.

Four years ago, when I rode those escalators up to the 5th floor of an office building in Guangzhou, I rose my right hand and took an oath of truth, the last step in a 3-year journey that started before the life of the little one I wore on my side started. Our Chinese translators were not allowed into the room with us, a room packed full of American citizens who all either cradled or held the little hands of Chinese children who were nearly American citizens too. Despite the nearly tangible fatigue of red tape in that room, I could almost hear the sound of the national anthem in my heart as I saw the freedom I have in a new way.

I’ve never been more grateful for the sacrifice of the brave before me as I am now. I have never felt as indebted to those who have fought the fight and continue to do so to protect the freedom that I live everyday as a wife and mother of four—one of whom was not born to me within these borders but who now calls it her home too.

I don’t agree with all American policies. There are all sorts of things awry here, I know, but politics and patriotism are not the same thing. And, perhaps international adoptive parents should be the most patriotic of all, not in an egocentric or arrogant sort of way at all but with deep gratitude for those who have paid the greatest price for our peace and freedom, a freedom that allows our family to be a family.

The sun is shining today, and the air is just warm enough to tease us to go to the pool and try taking a dip in the water that still feels like spring. We’ll grill cheeseburgers, and my husband and I will sit together out back while the kids ride scooters in our driveway. Traditions are sweet especially when they help us celebrate a day that means more now to me than it did before. The freedom so many people have given their lives for is what has made our family what it is.

Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, Living as a multiracial family, Traditions

A few words to my four children on Mother’s Day Eve

5.10.14

Hello four children,
In 90 minutes, it’s officially Mother’s Day. You probably don’t remember years of Mother’s Day pasts, so I’ll fill you in. It’s sorta a day to celebrate me. I’ll act all humble and casual and undeserving. But, Daddy will tell you that come the Friday before Mother’s Day, I typically declare it the start of Mother’s Day weekend. I haven’t expected much from you in honor of the weekend over the last 12 years. Truth be told, Daddy was always the one to rally you all to give me some special treatment like breakfast in bed and maybe a nice long nap. But, Daddy is on the other side of the globe giving others special treatment which, mind you, is way more important than serving me a muffin and coffee on Mother’s Day. I believe he’s passed the baton off to you…or maybe left a card on his desk and told you to give it to me on Sunday. Either way, Mother’s Day is your responsibility now. Allow me to give you a little direction because I know you want some.

You don’t know how to use the coffee pot nor how I overthink the balance between decaf and caffeinated coffee beans based on how I feel at that particular moment. So, I’ll get up and do my overthinking and brew some and then come right on back upstairs. Laying in bed with my hot cup of coffee in a China Starbucks mug is a gift enough; who cares who makes the coffee.

Don’t worry about cooking or picking flowers or wrapping expensive gifts (unless Daddy already did that with you before he left, in which case, I will gladly accept them). The best gift you can give me is something I like to call peace. I’m fairly certain you don’t fully understand that word. So, here it goes—no fighting. play nicely together. do whatever it is that you do in Minecraft together and tell each other you like your blocks or whatever it is you make there. I am not asking you to be quiet or to not make a mess. Go ahead, talk, make noise, play two different songs on two different devices, dump the dress-up bin again like you did today. But, when you do it, be peaceful with each other so that this mama can sit back with her partially caffeinated coffee and the Bible where I normally read the same verse 10 times before actually making it through to the end and I can close my eyes, hear the pleasant sound of giggles, the tidal wave of Legos being dumped out and stirred up, and sheep baa-ing and creepers making whatever noise it is that they make, and say to myself, “Ahhh…this is the life.”

Feel free to call me by name (though once is enough, I promise. There’s no need to say it 10 times) and tell me you love me and tell me something specific you love about me. That will encourage me and help me to feel peaceful in the event that you four are not peaceful.

Oh, and please don’t complain that there is a Father’s Day and a Mother’s Day but no children’s day. There’s really no peace in that.

That is all. Goodnight.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Traditions

She knows I wished for her

3.30.14

Gotcha Day book and horse1

March 28th. We don’t throw a party. With 3 of the 4 children with birthdays in March, the decision about that came easy. But, even if the day we received her fell in a month all its own, we wouldn’t hang streamers and make a whole lot of noise. It’s a special day. We talk about it. We give some extra hugs that day. And, we always have Chinese food just because. Maybe we give her a little something just to say I love you—this year, a personalized book and a little handmade horse from her birth place.

Gotcha Day book and horse2

Maybe this March 28th was just like others for our little girl. No revelations, no epiphanies, no new questions she hasn’t asked before. It was dimples and playing as usual. But, it was different for me this year because I was just there. I just walked the same path we walked as my heart beat fast crossing a busy street to the Civil Affairs Office where we’d meet her. I heard the same morning noises as various music played in the park while people performed their morning exercises, competing against the honking of car horns for attention. I rode the same elevator we rode when we first brought our baby back to our room. I even had the hotel open the same room where we stayed four years ago so that I could see it again and take pictures and remember that feeling when we opened the door and saw a little crib in there by our bed.

Experiencing all of that again made me long even more to tell her how she’s our wish come true, how years of holding tightly to the dream of her like I was clinging to the string of a balloon all made sense when we met her on March 28th, 2010.

Gotcha Day book and horse3

‘A long time ago,’ said Mama to Lydia, ‘a wish started growing in my heart. At first, it was a quiet wish that nobody knew. Then it became an out-loud wish that grew and grew and grew. Until one day, my wish came true.’

____________________________________________

If you are interested in making your own personalized adoption book of I Wish For You from Put Me in the Story, use the discount code WISH20 to get you 20% off until May 2. There’s something about seeing your name in print that makes going through your story on a 5-year-old level really fun.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, Traditions

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