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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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the big brother {news}

8.25.15

A lot of people read about L C.G. right here. A handful of folks emailed me asking for more information. Some wanted to help. Some really were considering if they could bring him home. But, there was one thread of messages among the others that stood out, one that I kept coming back to you because she kept coming back to it as well.

I didn’t know her before that thread started. We have a mutual friend. The friend shared my post on Facebook, and her husband actually happened to see it and click on it with no intention of anything beyond reading a story. But, reading the story became entering in. And, he shared it with his wife who also entered in and found herself thinking about him long after she walked away from the screen. Reading the story led to late night conversations as a couple and lots and lots of prayer. Then, somehow, the thread that was full of questions took a turn.

The joy in my heart is making me want to burst and the effort to restrain my heart from just taking off is enormous! I want to follow the right steps. I just got a message from my husband. “I’m amused at the Lord.” “Sweet, sweet, boy”.

She had already been feeling that tug of yes. And, her husband sensed that tug too…even before she did.

I can’t tell you much more than that, friends. But, this I can say: Somewhere in China right now on someone’s desk in some office is a file folder with paperwork about and old pictures of this sweet, sweet boy stamped in red ink with the word MATCHED…however that is said in Chinese.

LCG waving

I can’t wait to see him in October and tell him that he’s got a family that’s way more than “ordinary” who is already working very hard to bring him home as fast as they possibly can.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

#TC2016 {Mark your calendars now}

8.14.15

I’m not going to try to put into words why you need to come to Together Called 2016, at least not today. Instead, I’m just going to share a few quotes from couples who were there last year. I think they make my point way better than I can.

There simply are no words. We haven’t brought our daughter home yet, so we didn’t even know if we belonged at this retreat. We could not have been more blessed….God reaffirmed our calling and reassured us in so many ways this weekend….We also received great insight into our marriage and our bio kids just by having this time away that was centered upon family. God has mightily worked through you by you following his calling to put on this retreat. You blessed our socks off, and we could never thank you enough.

We gained a perspective from others, hearing what they have walked through, that gave us great encouragement as we look at our pending adoption. The stories of hope we heard as we connected with other couples were the biggest takeaway.

The retreat was so wonderful start to finish. As simple as it might sound, the care package with the note as soon as we entered our room put many of our concerns to rest immediately. We truly felt welcomed.”

It was the first time in a long time that we got to really talk and have direction in our discussion!

We came into this weekend so dry and distant and really struggling. After about 14 months or so of what we’ve deemed “crisis living,” we really needed this time away. It did not disappoint. We feel infused with support, truth, and a renewed sense of purpose for our marriage and our family.

Put TWO events on your calendar right now:

  • October 4th. Registration will open at 9pm EST on Sunday, October 4th for Together Called 2016, the fourth annual faith-based marriage retreat specifically for foster and adoptive as well as preadoptive couples. If this year is anything like previous years, it will fill up fast (and by fast, I mean minutes). Be ready to register right at 9pm to make sure you get one of those spots.
  • April 8th-10th. Those are the dates for the marriage retreat itself. It will be at a new location this year called Liberty Mountain Resort which is close to Gettysburg, PA and accessible from Dulles Airport, Baltimore Washington International Airport, or Philadelphia Airport so all you faraway peeps will have no problem getting there. In fact, you may want to arrange the grandparents or friends from church or Auntie who spoils your kids to come early and stay late so that you can head out there on Thursday and stay through Monday, to take advantage of all the cool stuff in Gettysburg.

Can’t wait to share more deets with you all as things get finalized. Until now, you’ll have to settle for dates. But, know that we have some good things in the works for whoever it is who God’s bringing out this year.

TC2016 Save the Date

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: The Sparrow Fund

the big brother {advocating}

8.14.15

We were getting into the van to leave the orphanage for the day when the director gently touched my arm and said something to our translator.

He wants to know if he can show you one more child to find a family for.

He brought me to a tall boy who was waiting for me on the front steps, fiddling with his fingers obviously nervous but also impressively willing to look me right in the eye. He continued to stand before me, nodding his head occasionally as the director spoke about him to me with the translator next to us relaying every word.

He goes to a school nearby and is very smart. He’s very social. He likes computers and running.

I saw an opportunity and jumped in.

Running? Wow. Are you fast?

Bigger smile and a head nod as he answers.

He says he’s good and wins races.

I offered him a high 5, and he accepted. The director went on.

The only thing wrong with him is that he looks weird. His brain is all normal.

I was stunned.

His eyes looked away from me as I blinked more than I should have in nervousness.

I wrote down notes in the green binder I carried with me everywhere.

school. smart. very social. computer. running….only his eyes.

That’s his reality. He’s known as the boy who looks weird. But, by some supernatural gift of grace, he’s still able to smile with his crooked teeth and unusual features and look me right in the eye.

On the last day our team was at the orphanage, the staff allowed us to take all the children who were able outside for free play. We blew bubbles and used sidewalk chalk and bounced balls and raced plasma cars. We were nearly finished when I saw L. C.G. in his school uniform running to join us. He looked right at me as he had done before with a big smile but then walked right past me. I saw his head turning, clearly looking for someone. I thought he might be looking for an ayi, maybe looking for the other boys his age whose disabilities keep them from going out to school as he gets to do. Suddenly, he stopped turning as he found what he was looking for.

for advocating post - 1

L. C.G. scooped up a child, a little one who clearly knew him as evidenced by how tightly he wrapped his poofy little arms around his neck. There in the courtyard of a place known for broken relationships, I witnessed brokenness being redeemed.

for advocating post 2 - 1

Before all else, the boy who “looks weird” was searching for this little boy. He hugged him and spoke to him as I stood marveling at how he knew he could offer this child something no one else in that place could.

After a few minutes, he put him down and brought him to an ayi and then ran off to join his buddies racing around the yard on bikes way too small for their growing bodies but not unlike my own sons would do at home.

I added more notes to my binder that night.

Gentle. Compassionate. Would make a great big brother. Look for his file. This boy needs a family.

_____________________________________

His file has been found. He’s on the shared list right now which means any agency can show families his file. And, any family—no matter where they are in their adoption process—can hold and lock his file to move forward to make him their son. Feel free to email me at kraudenbush@sparrow-fund.org if you have questions about him or the adoption process or about an agency to help you. And, click HERE to read the letter he wrote only days ago for me to share with all of you.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

I love a good story

7.30.15

Bear creek lobbyI’m fairly certain our four children are amidst and producing a good bit of noise right now. But, I couldn’t tell you what that noise is entirely because it’s far from where we are. They’re at an amusement park with Grammy who actually called us and asked to take them for two nights. We obliged because we want to be kind to her and want good things for our children.

What were we to do while they were gone?

We kinda skipped town. With a gift certificate in hand, we took off and are presently sitting here in a cozy little spot by a fireplace with a beautiful view of a green ski slope and a glassy outside pool with our laps full of Bibles, notebooks, and our MacBooks. That’s how we roll.

My thoughts are full of the last time we sat in this same place surrounded by friends, men and women energized by rest and fellowship together. We laughed about silly things because we could. And, we asked how they were doing and meant it. We told our stories. We listened to even more stories. Maybe that’s why I find myself liking this place so much; it’s where stories were shared.

Oh, how I love our stories. God is the author who brings to life the characters, the setting, and plots that knit everything together. But, how generous He is to allow us to claim our stories as our own and tell them in spoken and written word alike. Every story is as different as the ones sharing them. Some seem rather simple at first telling; some are riddled with twists and turns. Regardless, I think the best stories are not the ones with reported happy endings that are neat and are easy to follow. The best ones are the cliffhangers that leave us on the edge of our seats, straining to understand them, that require us to ask questions and think hard to get it. They are the ones that aren’t easy to tell or easy to hear. They aren’t comfortable by definition. They are the ones that we know aren’t actually finished yet when the storyteller takes a deep breath and is done with words for now. They are the ones without necessarily the promise of happy endings on this side of eternity and yet have glimpses of hope even if it’s the listener who has to point them out.

Stories are how we make sense of things, aren’t they? We understand the world and literally all of history through stories self-articulated and told to us. I find myself sitting here quietly longing for more stories like a child does before bed, asking God to supply more people around me who can muster the courage to unwrap their hearts and tell their stories and who are willing to sit beside me to actively listen to my overthinking of my own.

That happened right here, and surely will happen again come April at Together Called 2016. And, it will happen before then with the girls who sit over cups of coffee with me at 6:30am on Wednesday mornings. And, it will happen in the counseling sessions as I sit on a coach and seek to encourage parents and children to walk through those places in their stories where they feel stuck. It will happen around our dinner table when we train our children to become good storytellers themselves. It will happen late at night when our sheer exhaustion brings down barriers and the hearts of a husband and wife are compelled to burst with stories and allow them to unify us.

It’s definitely not exclusive to this place or that Together Called weekend with kindred spirits. But, for now, I’ll stay right here and relish in the memories of storytelling that happened here and dream of the stories yet to be written and told, knowing there are some good ones coming.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Overthinking, The Sparrow Fund

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