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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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A Gift for Little Tree {you need to kickstart this}

4.21.13

I had this problem. I didn’t go into baby stores, so I went to a nursery and I looked for a plant that would be a nice gift, thinking maybe a rose bush, something safe. But, what I found was something that changed my life; I found an apple tree. . . .it had three different apples on the branches.

That’s when the hair on my arms stood up and I sat up straight in my chair, because I’ve been there.

I remember escaping from a crowded room to hide the tears when another friend announced she was pregnant. I remember sitting at our kitchen table with my face in my hands, sobbing as my husband sat beside me after Bible Study when another couple made their announcement. I remember crying with my mom over lunch when even our waitress had the round belly I longed for. It was one of the hardest seasons of my life.

Gift for Little Tree adoption bookThe way Colleen described how she found the “adoption tree” and the invitation she received years ago to write the story of that tree—just made me want to sit down with her in a quaint coffee shop somewhere on a corner in California where she’s from and talk life. 

The children’s story that Colleen originally wrote as an adoption gift for her friend grew to be the parable that changed her own heart and life forever. The embrace of love in adoption as she put into words in A Gift for Little Tree helped Colleen see for the first time that she too could truly love a child grafted into their family via adoption. Eleven months later, she and her husband adopted a baby girl and, 9 years later, their son through the loving arms of their children’s birthparents.

And, life has never been the same. She is now the Director of Outreach and Development for Bethany Christian Services for the San Francisco Bay Area. Now, 18 years after the first writing of her story, she’s desiring to see it used to touch families—birth families, children, and the grafted families with all different apples.

I can tell you right now, since I got a sneak peek at a draft of the book, my Princess of Everything Apples and I adore it. Right now, it’s simply a draft, begging to be printed and spread out on the bookshelves, night stands, and coffee tables of families everywhere. And, I so want to see that happen.

Head over here to the Kickstarter page where Colleen is raising the funds needed to get this sweet book printed. Consider giving $25 at least—that will get you a signed hardcopy of the book signed by Colleen. I’d so like to give $1,000 and hang out with Colleen and her family for the tree planting at their family ranch house. Can someone just give $1,000 and invite me to go with them?

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, Reviews

Dear Chick-fil-a…

3.5.13

Dear Chick-fil-a,

It was Daddy-daughter date night tonight. My husband and my 9 year old daughter got to have dinner together complete with a string quartet in the background at our local Chick-fil-a. The tables were set beautifully, candles were lit, flowers were presented, and the food they both love was served. They reported that the restaurant was hopping with dads and little girls. We love that you support families in a very tangible way through hosting events like this to get parents to connect with their children without distraction.

There was a booklet they received tonight called Continuing the Conversation full of questions (provided by the WinShape Foundation) Dads and daughters can ask each other on date nights to get the conversation going. What a great idea! What a great tool to help give both girls and their dads ways to grow their relationship beyond the day-to-day car dropoffs and homework help. 
My husband showed this booklet to me as soon as they got home because of a specific question in it. In the first set of daughter to daddy questions, he read me this one:

Tell me about the day I was born. What was it like for you?

I know this is a fun question to ask. I’d love to hear my own father answer this one. But, to be sensitive to families like ours and like a few my family met tonight at your restaurant who have children who joined their family via adoption, I think this question should have been worded differently.

Tell me about the day I joined the family. What was it like for you?

or

Tell me about the day you first met me. What was it like for you?

These questions would encourage the same conversation but in a way that honors families built a little differently, families who may not know anything about the day their child was born.

We love who you are and what you do. Sometimes, it only takes a little change to do it even better.

Sincerely,

Kelly

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, Reviews

Overthinking Chinese New Year books

1.23.13

I posted these reviews last year. But, see, CNY happens every year. So…I decided maybe this post should too.

I’ve scoured websites and bookshelves for every Chinese New Year themed kids’ book around to read to our clan in anticipation of the holiday. We found some good ones and some not so good ones.

Overthinker that I am, I hope my musings help you decide which ones are worth your investment.

No Year of the Cat is a newer title from Sleeping Bear Press that wasn’t available last year. The story is one familiar in Chinese folklore about the 12 animals of the Chinese zodiac and why there is no cat among them. It all starts with the emperor needing a way to remember time, when things happened, most notably the year the prince was born. His idea to name the years after animals results in a race with the winning animals making it into the ranks of becoming legacies in the calendar. Cute story and really beautiful illustrations.

 

 

Chelsea’s Chinese New Year explains Chinese New Year for the younger set. I love the size of it–a nice big paperback book (about a 9 1/2″ square) with big ole illustrations very similar in style to the Disney Channel’s Charlie and Lola. The main character, little Chelsea, explains how her Chinese American family celebrate Chinese New Year, touching on all the traditions either in the text or illustrations. Each page has a little section that gives additional information about the holiday that you can choose to read or skip over to just keep it a story. This one would be great to use in a classroom to read aloud to a group of preschoolers or kindergarteners.

 

Marcia Vaughan’s The Dancing Dragon has simplistic text about how Chinese New Year is celebrated in Chinatown. But, what makes this book worthwhile is that the pages all unfold accordion style to reveal the illustration of a long dragon from the parade. Good one to read to a classroom of kids since you could have a child hold each page as it unfolds. Just wish the book was a little larger in size–at 9″x7.5″, a couple more inches would make it much better for classroom use.

 

 

Another preschool friendly one, Joan Holub’s Dragon Dance: A Chinese New Year Lift-the-Flap Book is a popular one. Each page has 4 lines of simple text in a classic ABCB rhyming pattern (hope that’s right…trying to remember 7th grade English class) with good sized flaps to open to reveal some part of the New Year celebration, supposedly one in New York City’s Chinatown (though it wouldn’t have to be). Colorful and bold illustrations include little “extras” you can point out–the significance of the flowers, the oranges, and the super long noodles. Only complaint? The last flap ends with “Gung Hat Fat Choy!” in big ole print which is Cantonese rather than the Mandarin “Xin Nian Kuai Le!” New Year’s greeting – something that really bothered my Mandaring-learning 7 year old.

How does a free Chinese New Year book sound? Bella and the Year of the Dragon by Barbara Nick is a free iTunes download. Despite mediocre illustrations, this is the best book I could find explaining the fable behind all the animals of the Chinese zodiac and their race to the emperor to determine what order they would come in for the years of the Chinese lunar calendar. And, believe me, I read a bunch that were not even worthy of a review. This one, however, does a good job explaining the fable simply but in an interesting way…and it’s free. Can’t beat that.

Celebrate Chinese New Year: With Fireworks, Dragons, and Lanterns by Carolyn Otto is a National Geographic book for kids published in 2009 (so, it doesn’t look at all dated). It has super compelling photographs in it that have a big wow-factor for kids and adults (including ones of Shanghai, a dinner table in Shanxi, Xi’an all lit up, children in Inner Mongolia, a parade in London, dancers in Vancouver, and fireworks in Guiyang). Includes great information without putting too many words on a page too–something that could turn the bedtime book reading into a bad scene. And, it has a great resource section in the back with facts, how to make a Chinese lantern and fortune cookies (which they do point out are an invention of either the Japanese or Chinese Americans), and where to go for more information including other books and websites. Good for real little ones if you want to just talk about the pictures and interesting enough to keep the attention of older kids (and adults).
This one was just published in October 2011 and has won the Feng ZiKai Chinese Children’s Picture Book Award. A New Year’s Reunion was written by Yu Li-Qiong who was born in Anqing, China and who currently lives in Nanjing. It tells the fictional story of a family united only once a year when the father, one of China’s 100 million migrant workers, returns home for a few days to see his wife and daughter and celebrate the lunar new year. It’s illustrated beautifully and is a cute story of a family’s traditions, ending poignantly with the father saying goodbye to go back to work. I’m declaring this one a must-have book–not only does it describe well how a Chinese family celebrates the new year, it also shares how so many people in China live as migrant workers. Count on this book opening the door for great conversations with your kids about life in China and, possibly, questions about birth families. Get ready.

Though I’m not a big fan of the illustrations in Ying Chang Compestine’s The Runaway Rice Cake, I appreciate the message. The Chang family makes one rice cake with the last bit of their rice flour for their whole family of 5 to eat for Chinese New Year. In gingerbread man fashion, the rice cake comes alive and runs away, showing you elements of the New Year celebration as they chase it. When the rice cake runs into a poor and hungry elderly woman, “the rice cake stopped trying to escape” and surrenders itself to be eaten. The children are sad that their last food is gone, but they return home to an abundance, much more than they could have imagined, to their happiest New Year’s Eve ever. Some kids might find the anthropomorphized rice cake’s surrender to be eaten a bit sad (or disturbing?), but the overall message of giving generously and receiving blessings, sometimes tangible ones right away and sometimes ones we may not recognize so easily, makes this book a worthwhile family read.

Ying Chang Compestine wrote another runaway book – The Runaway Wok: A Chinese New Year Tale. These illustrations are way more my style–bright, funky, fun, filling the pages with color. The story is a silly fable that is sort of a mix of Jack and the Beanstalk, Ebenezer Scrooge, and the Gingerbread Man, Chinese style. My kids thought it was hilarious and were quickly repeating the catchy “skippity-hoppity-ho” line from the crazy wok. And, in addition to showing them pieces of how Chinese New Year is celebrated traditionally, it gave us the chance to talk about bigger things like sharing, justice, revenge, and mercy. This one will be read in and out of season, I’m sure.

Another Chinese New Year book from Ying Chang Compestine, but one very different from the runaway books. And, one I really love. Yes, Crouching Tiger is a Chinese New Year’s themed book with elements I didn’t find in other books (like that in Chinatown New Year parades, there is a “cabbage boy” who holds a head of cabbage on a bamboo pole in front of the dragon in the parade) as well as the more traditional elements (the cleaning, a new haircut, traditional foods, etc.), while also engaging readers with Chinese martial arts (each page shows a different Tai Chi position) and beautiful illustrations. But, more than that, it’s a book about a young boy learning that he is “Chinese as well as American,” a very important lesson taught to him by a loving and faithful grandfather. Don’t just get it from the library. This one you’ll want to buy, especially if you are a parent of a Chinese boy.

Start your own New Year tradition with this series by Oliver Chin. So far, in his Tales from the Chinese Zodiac, he’s written a story book for the Dog, Ox, Pig, Rabbit, Rat, Tiger, dragon (which I reviewed at length last year), and now snake. All are cute little stories that capture the symbolic spirit of the zodiac animal featured. The Year of the Snake: Tales from the Chinese Zodiacis a cute new addition to the series. Read about Suzie the snake who along with a little girl named Lily defies expectations of the fork-tongued breed and demonstrates how very useful she can be. No scary snake here like I would imagine it to be based on its symbolic nature in Scripture and Chinese folklore. The symbolic nature of the snake being wise and intelligent and good at making things turn out just the way it wants in business and otherwise quietly shines through in this book in a friendly and fun sort of way. There are subtle themes of looking past prejudice to one’s true nature that you can point out if you wish–or just let your kids enjoy the silly illustrations and tuck ’em in. Up to you. We still love the iPad app for the year of the dragon and are hoping that a snake one comes out soon since even our iPad likes to celebrate CNY.

Janet Wong’s year 2000 This Next New Year is unique in that it shows different ethnic groups in America celebrating Chinese New Year. The little boy who is the main character is half Chinese and half Korean. The book also mentions a little boy who is French and German who celebrates the holiday with Thai food to go and a little girl who is Hopi and Mexican who calls the New Year her favorite holiday because she likes getting red envelopes from her neighbor from Singapore. With vibrant colors, the boy explains with a bit of wit and humor and spunk their traditions around the New Year including washing his hair and “drying it extra dry.” A cute book for the younger set – maybe 4-7 year olds – and particularly good for pointing out that lots of different people enjoy recognizing Chinese New Year with their own little traditions.

How did I not hear of this book before? Karen Chinn’s book Sam and the Lucky Money is one that engages your children in Chinese New Year traditions while teaching a lesson of contentment and generosity. Sam is excited to get his red envelopes from his grandparents for Chinese New Year filled with $4. But, when he goes to Chinatown to buy himself something special, he’s frustrated that everything he wants is more than what he was given. When he sees an elderly homeless man without shoes on his feet, he gives all his money to him. I’m more of a bright, funky illustration type of person, so the soft watercolors didn’t wow me like they might for some. But, the message is one that does wow me. And, it gives you the opportunity to talk to your child about what it means “to be lucky” and if there even is such a thing.

Red Eggs & Dragon Boats: Celebrating Chinese Festivals by Carol Stepanchuk is a great kids’ reference book for Chinese New Year, the grave sweeping holiday (Clear Brightness–which we were in China for), red egg and ginger celebrations, the Dragon Boat Festival, and the Moon Festival. Loads of information about those holidays, fables, and other traditions are in here and explained in a way that a grade schooler can understand. The color illustrations are really pretty–made me wish they were fabrics for a cute little dress for my little one. Published in 1994, I think it’s now out of print. But, you can find used copies around. And, honestly, I hope they update and reprint this one. It really is well put together.

Want a book for an older girl? You might want to check out The Chinese New Year Mystery, a classic Nancy Drew mystery. I skimmed it myself before giving it to my 7 year old daughter, and I admit that I remember these being a bit more compelling…when I was 7 years old myself. In classic Nancy Drew style, their school is getting ready for the Chinese New Year parade when the dragon is stolen. Nancy Drew (you can’t just call her Nancy) has to figure out who stole the dragon so that the parade can go on. Traditions of the Chinese New Year are described as one of Nancy’s friends, Mari Cheng, is Chinese American. There’s a little bit of interesting drama too as a few girls mouth off about Chinese New Year being “stupid.” Hmmm…could lead to some interesting conversations.

Another one I really like is Cheng Hou-tien’s The Chinese New Year. We got it from the library since it’s an old book and hard to find. The book explains Chinese New Year traditions with the only illustrations being black colored paper cuttings on a white background which is so beautiful actually. May not wow your little ones as much since it isn’t bright and eye catching, but the art of scissor cutting in China just fascinates me. And, aren’t black and white designs supposed to be good for babies to look at? I’m sure it will make your child ions smarter.

There are a few others yet I’d like to check out – The Star Maker that looks good for the 2nd-5th grade boy and teaches about the Chinese American celebration, Celebrating Chinese New Year: An Activity Book since I have one who is all about activity books, A to Z Mysteries Super Edition #5: The New Year Dragon Dilemma which looks like a boy might enjoy it too (my older boy just won’t read Nancy Drew), and Lucky New Year! Board book even though we have graduated from board books, the pop up feature in this one looks super cool. Some others have recommended Great Race, The Paper Dragon, and Long-Long’s New Year: A Story About the Chinese Spring Festival. But, haven’t gotten my hands on those yet.

Any others you think I should add to our Chinese New Year library?

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Reviews

Last Train Home {Giveaway}

11.29.12

I’m quiet tonight as a few scenes from Last Train Home continue in my mind.

Every year, as Chinese New Year approaches, 130 million people in China who have left their homes to work in cities return home, creating the single largest migration in the world every single year. Last Train Home, created by Chinese Canadian Lixin Fan, focuses on two of those 130 million people–Zhang Changhua and Chen Suqin. They left their two children as infants in their rural village in Sichuan Province to be cared for by an elderly grandmother and set out for Guangzhou with the hope of giving their son and daughter a better life than they had experienced themselves.

The stunning contrast between the crowded, riotous train station as they and many others literally push their way through to leave their factory work and dormitory living to journey home and the peaceful, magnificent landscapes they can see from their train window left me stunned. Chaos and beauty–true of the physical world as well as their relationships.

Though these parents gave all they literally could for the sake of their children, their relationships are critically broken with a wall between the father and daughter in particular that you can nearly reach out and touch as you watch them on the screen in front of you on the other side of the world captured in time. Their pain is intense. Somehow, it became even more real to me with the English subtitles as I was forced to focus on expressions and tones rather than simply words.

As their 15-year-old daughter wrestles with her own desire for independence and the hole left in her heart from absent parents, I realized I was literally holding my breath while I watched, wanting to see something happen that wasn’t going to happen while feeling somewhat embarrassed that I was getting such an intimate view of their brokenness. It isn’t fair. Her mother told her daughter she had not yet tasted the bitterness of life; I think she’s known it all along.

This is one family’s story, one intimate and intense enough to leave you holding your breath. Multiply their story by the 130 million who share similar journeys as migrant workers and this movie becomes epic in impact, no less necessary that Schindler’s List or Hotel Rwanda as we consider the reality of the world outside our own small borders.

I want you to see this. I want you to own it and share it with others. I want more people to understand the lives of Zhang Changhua, Chen Suqin, and Zhang Qin and the 129,999,997 others their lives represent. So, I’m giving away a copy of the DVD here.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*note* this movie is not appropriate for young audiences. There is one particular scene with language and domestic violence. 
Giveaway is for the DVD and shipping to the Continental United States. If winner cannot provide a mailing address within the Continental United States, he/she will have the option of paying for shipping for the DVD.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, giveaways, Reviews

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I overthink everything. This blog is a prime example. Make yourself a cup of coffee and sit down for a read. Actually, make that a pot of coffee. There’s a lot of overthinking here.

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