We got a package. Bound neatly and nicely inside were letters written by a few of the people who spent 2 years or more teaching across the world under Mark’s leadership. It’s been 5 years doing all this—equipping, leading, and sending teachers to the front lines while also caring for foster and adoptive families here in the states. Is it weird to say that these notes feel kinda like medals around our necks? It’s not like the race is over by any means. But, right now, especially given policies that have turned things upside down and some big added responsibility, it just feels good to together say we’ve made it this far and to take a moment to look back and reflect on how it started.

Just over 5 years ago, I wrote some words about that start, the day after Mark quit his job. In honor of making it this far in the race, I’m sharing those words here for you, not to get any praise and accolades but so we can all smile and give thanks for that clear calling then and for Him continuing to call.

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He put on an ironed shirt this morning, nice slacks, belt, and shoes. He kissed me goodbye and said, “Have a good day” just like he did yesterday and everyday last week and nearly every morning for the last 15 years of our marriage.

But, today was different. There was a spring in his step and an extra spark in his kiss because today was not like yesterday or the days before. Yesterday, he quit.

When he told his boss he was leaving, his boss wanted to play the game, give him a counter offer, encourage him to stay. When Mark told him he wasn’t headed over to a competitor but leaving the financial industry entirely, I think he left him a bit dumbfounded.

Leaving the industry. The one he’s worked in for 18 years.

Mark explained the work, his role specifically, how he’s been called to it. He told him how he’s been raising support so that we could do this. We thought he’d think we were crazy. Instead, he told Mark he was jealous; Mark will be doing something his heart is full in. It’s what everyone wants deep down, above wealth, benefits, prestige and all that comes with all three of those. Everyone wants to do something they love; maybe life too often gets in the way.

Just like that, Mark left that conference room, and everything was different. We knew his days there were numbered, but we didn’t know that number until now. He had imagined what that conversation would be like, played it over in his head. Now, the imagined is simply history, a day that we’ll remember that marks when we put a stake in the ground and said, “This is where we are meant to go, and we’re going.”

He’ll end well over the next two weeks, still putting on an ironed shirt and slacks and kissing me goodbye each morning, making sure things that need to be covered are covered, putting closure on all he can. But, at the end of those two weeks, he’ll close up a cardboard box with the few personal affects that made a sterile desk and chair his workplace, and he’ll drive home one last time for us to start a whole new part of our lives, one He’s been preparing us for all along.

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I think I just heard the pistol shoot for the start of the next 5 years.

It wasn’t easy getting out of bed yesterday. I’m one of those borderline obnoxious morning people. I actually enjoy being up with one cup of coffee down before the sun rises. But, yesterday was hard. I was off my game. We’ve had a string of late nights following busy days. Laying in bed hearing my alarm ring for the third and fourth time, I spent more energy than I care to admit justifying why more time in bed was a better choice than heading to the coffee maker and my green chair to spend time with God. I did make it there eventually…later than normal but there…but I felt distracted and somehow busy though I had been out of bed for only minutes.

I’ve been doing what I call word studies in my mornings in my green chair. They started in August when I became acutely aware of some big feelings that need truth spoken into them. So, I listed out every occurrence of the phrase “I am with you” in the Bible and slowly went through every one. When I reached the end of my list, I went all the way back to the beginning now studying every passage with the phrase “He is with you” or “God is with you.” It took months of daily study, sometimes in passages I never would have found otherwise. When I was done, I moved to the phrase “set your mind.” Then, I studied the words “steady” and “firm.” Now, I’m looking at the phrase “take heart,” a study that led me this morning to John 16:33, a verse I’ve heard over and over again.

As I read the words yesterday morning, I had to tell myself to sip my coffee slowly rather than gulp it down, not unlike the way I was approaching God’s word really. I read the verse then I read the verse in context. I read the passage in various versions of Scripture. I waited a whole 5 seconds for some divine revelation of rich application, deep meaning, something relevant to me today. After all, I needed it and 5 seconds is plenty of time for all that, right?

It was the last full day before we were leaving for China again. My brain was busy with so many things as I read John 16 yesterday.

Here on earth you will have many trials and many sorrows. But, take heart, because I have overcome the world.

That’s it? What does that matter? Sitting there thinking of the myriad of challenges I am facing to prepare and execute this trip and everything else, I wanted something more.

You will have many trials and challenges. But, take heart, it won’t last forever and something good is coming…take heart, there’s more to the story than all this…take heart, you are not alone.

No. Jesus said, take heart because He has overcome the world. It must matter or He wouldn’t have said it. But, take heart, because…because…The fact that He has overcome is what allows us to take heart, to have courage, to persevere, to keep going deeper when we may feel like hitting the proverbial snooze button 10 more times. Why? His overcoming means that there isn’t a single thing in this world that has power over Him or even exists outside of His power. His overcoming covers it all.

In this broken world you will continue to face challenges, some small and some really big. But, you can take heart, because there is nothing in this world that has power greater than mine. Even your hardest hards aren’t stronger than my strong.

I’m glad I made it to the green chair and didn’t get up out of it having rehearsed a familiar verse and ticked the box without hearing Him tell me not just TO take heart but WHY I can.

Let’s do this.

China would be easy, China would be comfortable, China would be predictable and you would know what to expect. And there is nothing wrong with all of that, nothing at all. Unless, God wants you to know more about himself, then complacency and comfort just won’t work. Thailand, may not have been on your bucket list, but apparently God has it on your abundant life list.

On the night before we left for Thailand, I received that message from a friend. I clung to those words as we traveled for-freaking-ever to get to Thailand (yes, clearly I was still a bit grumpy about that part).

A couple weeks home now, and I can tell you that she was right. It wasn’t China. It wasn’t comfortable or predictable. And, we worked hard—real hard. Everyday was filled with large group meetings followed by one-on-ones. Mark and I were literally booked from 7:30am to 9:30pm. Mark taught about understanding deeper core heart issues and how to work through them. And, I taught from Jeremiah 42 about decision making (despite the fact that I feel wildly inadequate to teach about that myself), demonstrating and explaining what I have been doing for my personal study to introduce a new way to get deep into God’s word. We were poured out, but we were in it together, leading out of our marriage, magnifying the best in each other.

I’m so thankful I went despite the (ridiculous) roundtrip 66 hours of travel. And, time with Frank, Helen, Caleb, and Grace, daily legit fresh mango smoothies, and an elephant ride through the jungle with Caleb sitting between Mark and I were all icing on the cake (watch video below for proof).

I am so thankful for people who hold us up and send us convicting emails that I want to make into some trendy word art and hang next to my desk.