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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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I love a good story

7.30.15

Bear creek lobbyI’m fairly certain our four children are amidst and producing a good bit of noise right now. But, I couldn’t tell you what that noise is entirely because it’s far from where we are. They’re at an amusement park with Grammy who actually called us and asked to take them for two nights. We obliged because we want to be kind to her and want good things for our children.

What were we to do while they were gone?

We kinda skipped town. With a gift certificate in hand, we took off and are presently sitting here in a cozy little spot by a fireplace with a beautiful view of a green ski slope and a glassy outside pool with our laps full of Bibles, notebooks, and our MacBooks. That’s how we roll.

My thoughts are full of the last time we sat in this same place surrounded by friends, men and women energized by rest and fellowship together. We laughed about silly things because we could. And, we asked how they were doing and meant it. We told our stories. We listened to even more stories. Maybe that’s why I find myself liking this place so much; it’s where stories were shared.

Oh, how I love our stories. God is the author who brings to life the characters, the setting, and plots that knit everything together. But, how generous He is to allow us to claim our stories as our own and tell them in spoken and written word alike. Every story is as different as the ones sharing them. Some seem rather simple at first telling; some are riddled with twists and turns. Regardless, I think the best stories are not the ones with reported happy endings that are neat and are easy to follow. The best ones are the cliffhangers that leave us on the edge of our seats, straining to understand them, that require us to ask questions and think hard to get it. They are the ones that aren’t easy to tell or easy to hear. They aren’t comfortable by definition. They are the ones that we know aren’t actually finished yet when the storyteller takes a deep breath and is done with words for now. They are the ones without necessarily the promise of happy endings on this side of eternity and yet have glimpses of hope even if it’s the listener who has to point them out.

Stories are how we make sense of things, aren’t they? We understand the world and literally all of history through stories self-articulated and told to us. I find myself sitting here quietly longing for more stories like a child does before bed, asking God to supply more people around me who can muster the courage to unwrap their hearts and tell their stories and who are willing to sit beside me to actively listen to my overthinking of my own.

That happened right here, and surely will happen again come April at Together Called 2016. And, it will happen before then with the girls who sit over cups of coffee with me at 6:30am on Wednesday mornings. And, it will happen in the counseling sessions as I sit on a coach and seek to encourage parents and children to walk through those places in their stories where they feel stuck. It will happen around our dinner table when we train our children to become good storytellers themselves. It will happen late at night when our sheer exhaustion brings down barriers and the hearts of a husband and wife are compelled to burst with stories and allow them to unify us.

It’s definitely not exclusive to this place or that Together Called weekend with kindred spirits. But, for now, I’ll stay right here and relish in the memories of storytelling that happened here and dream of the stories yet to be written and told, knowing there are some good ones coming.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Overthinking, The Sparrow Fund

Help bring some happy to Caitlyn’s birthday

7.13.15

Friend, let me introduce you to someone. She loves to read, eat ice cream, explore the great outdoors, watch movies with buttered popcorn, ride her bike, read, and read some more. She’s full of energy and is loving every bit of summertime.

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Her name is Caitlyn, and she’s really cute…especially with some missing teeth, right?

She turns 8 in 10 days on July 23rd. While most girls 8 minus 10 days old are all about icing designs, balloons, and all that comes with that, Caitlyn’s not really there.

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4 months ago, Jesus called Caitlyn’s little sister Avery into His forever arms. Everyday since that day has been hard as she experiences all the firsts she must experience without the baby sister she thought she’d grow up with. Her next birthday is one of those firsts.

Her mama, who is grieving as she faces all her own firsts, has put out a special request. With her permission, I am sharing it here.

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Wanna help? Send me an email, and I’ll give you their mailing address. Let’s show this mama and this big sister and her daddy too that they are loved.

happy 8th bday Caitlyn

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Overthinking, Uncategorized

Dear husband {on his 13th Father’s Day}

6.21.15

follow you anywhereI’m thankful to have a day that makes me sit down in our bedroom with the door closed to write down these words for you–though I hope to love you so well that you start hearing this message every day.

You have the hardest job in the world. The task of being a good husband and father is by far the biggest, most significant, and most difficult ask of you. I recognize that. Do not let the fact that many men are called to the tasks negate the enormity of your individual calling to them. I know I don’t need to say that to you though; the weight of the position you hold as our leader is not lost on you.

While it may seem overwhelming to you at times, know that I think you are the perfect leader for us. You may not always be a “fearless leader,” as the saying goes, but you are a strong. intentional, faithful, generous, wise leader who leads this family with more and more grace and skill with every passing year.

Know that we love you and that I will do everything in my power to continue to teach our children to follow you because as they do, they are not only respecting their good father but they are learning how to follow their Heavenly Father.

I am proud to be stand with you, follow you, be protected by you, no matter where you go and what you do.

Happy 13th Father’s Day.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Overthinking

Dear Pastors. {Overthinking Mother’s Day}

5.8.15

church pewsThis Sunday is Mother’s Day. I know you know that already. It’s been on your calendar all year.

Moms are going to fill your pews this Sunday wearing pretty dresses. Some will have been served breakfast in bed. Some will have received bouquets of flowers already that morning. Some will be looking forward to children coming home that day to take them out for lunch. Some will be anticipating phone calls, hugs, kisses, crayon drawings, and homemade cards.

But, Mother’s Day isn’t always that pretty.

There will be women sitting before you this Sunday who are aching to become mothers. Some of those women are struggling to make it day-by-day as they endure infertility treatment. Some of those women are single and long to be married and wonder if they will ever have the joy of being a mother.

There will be some women sitting before you this Sunday who are mothers but not parents, women who have placed children in other families to be raised by other mothers. They may not look or feel like mothers; they may struggle to define who they are.

There will be some women sitting before you this Sunday who were mothers for a short time and didn’t consider themselves that at all, women who ended their pregnancies and motherhood through an abortion and now wonder what life would have been like had they made another choice and chosen life for their child.

There will be some women sitting before you this Sunday who are broken mothers, mothers whose relationships with their children are strained at best, mothers who haven’t spoken to their grown children in months or even years, mothers whose children are in rehab or prison or who knows where.

There will be some mothers sitting before you this Sunday who are divorced from their children’s father and who are tired, so very tired, whose little ones may not even know it’s Mother’s Day at all.

There will be people sitting before you this Sunday who have lost their mothers and people who still have their mothers but have been hurt by them.

And, all those people? They’ve had Mother’s Day on their calendars all year too. But, they aren’t coming to church dressed in their prettiest clothes ready to stand to be recognized. Instead, they wonder if they should come at all. Some are ashamed. Some are resentful. Some are full of grief. Some are angry at the mothers around them, you for pointing them out, and God Himself. Some are simply sad and have already put tissues in their purses in anticipation of the day.

The ones coming to church in their best with smiles on their faces really don’t need to stand for recognition or be publicly thanked. They’ll get all that elsewhere. It’s the others who need you this Sunday. Speak for them.

To the women who are celebrating this Mother’s Day as mothers for the first time, know that we celebrate with you. 

To the women who serve day in and day out to little ones, cleaning noses and bottoms and sippy cups and car seats, know that we applaud you and support you.

To the women who work outside the home to provide for their families, know that we honor you for all that you carry.

To the women who have been celebrated by their families already today or will be later today, know that we take joy in that with you.

To the women who are not yet mothers and who long to be, whose hearts are heavy with that desire today, know that we walk with you through whatever God calls you to today and for days to come.

To the women who wonder what life would be like if they were mothering now the child who could have been theirs, know that we want to hold your hand and encourage you.

To the women who are separated relationally with painful distance between you and your children, know that we hurt with you and pray for reconciliation and trust for you that there is hope for that.

To the women who are mothers here who haven’t had the recognition from their children and feel forgotten, know that we remember you.

To those who have been hurt by their mothers in some way, who find this day a painful reminder of that hurt, know that we acknowledge your pain and want to come alongside you and offer hope for restoration.

To those who are watching their mothers grow older and change or who are grieving the loss of their mothers, know that we grieve with you and pray for comfort for you.

As significant as all that is, as much as we want to honor you today, know that He wants to bless and honor you more. Wherever you are, whatever you are facing, wherever your heart is this day, He’s right there with you—right now—and wants you to know Him deeper however you view Mother’s Day.

It’s a big day. It’s your challenge…privilege…to communicate God’s love to everyone in your church this Sunday as is your call every Sunday. As you do that with passion and cross-shaped compassion, I trust that He will speak the words they need to hear.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Overthinking

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I overthink everything. This blog is a prime example. Make yourself a cup of coffee and sit down for a read. Actually, make that a pot of coffee. There’s a lot of overthinking here.

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