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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Spastic, Ataxic, Dyskinetic, and a whole lot of beautiful things

10.14.17

Training Day 2. I went in there not real sure how well this was going to go with hard words for our translator to translate and hard words for caregivers to understand.

All morning long, Erin taught through body language and our Chinese team member. The caregivers listened, taking copious notes and pulling their phones out to snap pictures of words on slides or Erin’s physical demonstrations. They interrupted her to ask questions to understand it all better or ask why things were true or why different stretches or treatments helped.

And, I pretty much sat stunned…and took a few pictures myself.

When we had gathered as a team early that morning, we prayed all about the training, praying specifically among lots of things that when specific children were brought into the training for Erin to model specific stretches and positioning, the child would be honored and somehow blessed by it. We didn’t know what that might look like, but we asked specifically for it. We knew that bringing a little treasure onto a mat in the center of the room with lots of people all around was a risky thing. When the little one’s ayi brought her in and laid her down with everyone gathered around the mat, the woman in charge got down too. In her good clothes, she got down on her knees and lowered her chest all the way down to the ground, prostrate on the floor. With her face only inches from the cheeks of the little one, she smiled and then started whispering “Yēsū ài nǐ. Yēsū ài nǐ. Yēsū ài nǐ. Yēsū ài nǐ” until that little girl inside a broken body smiled back. Honored and blessed. In front of everyone.

The planned 2-hour training ended up to be more like a 4-hour one which ended with us having a hard time even remembering our team time together that morning when someone had said she was worried about how this was all going to go.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

He hears

10.12.17

He can’t hear well, they told us. But, he can definitely hear.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

Beautiful things

10.11.17

It wasn’t what I expected. I expected more color, more toys, more sunshine. I don’t know. Afterall, it wasn’t a state orphanage. Maybe I expected it to look more like some Chinese version of the daycare center where I worked for a summer in college. It didn’t.

The doorman muttered all sorts of things to us that even our translator had trouble understanding. But, he waved us through and smiled when he saw the director walk out to us. He asked us if we slept well. We assured him we did, and he said he was surprised because he thought we might be too excited to sleep.

The front hall was clean. dark and cool. damp. Some signs seemingly about rules for safety with interesting clipart were posted making that front hall look not unlike that of an office building, one no one really used. Two children’s areas were on that hall, each having two rooms, one for beds and one for play. We were invited right into the first area, like a friend might invite us into her living room. Come in. See what we’ve done with the place. When you admire it, I’ll smile and tell you to stop, but it will make me feel really good. In our aprons that looked like children’s hospital gowns and paper shoe covers, we joined the staff in the playroom.

There was nothing spectacular about the space. It wasn’t bad. I’ve said spaces with much less. But, it wasn’t what I thought it would be. With chalky paint, uneven and worn out floors, worn out lots of things, it really wasn’t all that beautiful. But, we stayed. Of course we did. This is where we had been asked to go. This is who wanted “expert” training on early childhood education and class management, about caring for children assigned the umbrella diagnosis of cerebral palsy, and about discipline and correction. We didn’t just stay; we watched.

It was nearly evening but the room got a little brighter as we watched. Brighter still was that place after we spent time in both rooms. The rooms looked different when we left that first day. In fact, even the doorman may have looked a little different.

It wasn’t like that daycare center with a play kitchen, dress up corner, and reading nook. It wasn’t like the state orphanages where I’ve served either. It was different. And, there were beautiful things there that weren’t at all worn out. Beautiful things that had nothing to do with donations from foreigners or painted murals on the wall. It just took a little time to notice them.

Two full days of trainings would start the next morning, trainings that would give us the opportunity to teach a few things and tell them how we love what they’ve done with the place.

I might have been too excited to sleep that night.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

the beautiful girl who is my friend

10.10.17

She was hard to notice. Without legs, she held onto small wooden handles someone likely had made just for her to get around. While her stature was the same as the children around her, I could tell she wasn’t one.

I was hard not to notice too as a foreigner in a group of foreigners who had come to volunteer and who weren’t just coming to admire little babies in the nursery rooms. I’m sure she saw me, but she avoided eye contact. I remember putting a handmade scarf around her neck at the end of that visit and touching her cheek and telling her she was beautiful. She couldn’t understand my words; I think she understood me because next time I came, she looked at me and tried to talk to me. On that trip, I learned a bit more about her. She had been there since she was a newborn. Someone named her MeiNu, beautiful girl. As others who came during the same season were adopted or eventually grew up and ventured out to school or to try to find jobs, she remained.

She was a kindergarten teacher now, a good one. I know because I got to sit in her class and watch her teach. The whole scene pretty much amazed me. A girl who was an orphan and had never left the orphanage now taught other orphans with patience and tenderness.

On the next trip, I found myself again in her classroom, sent there to observe a few children and make some suggestions. Instead, MeiNu was who I wanted to observe more. The video that I captured that morning of her as she came alongside a little boy who was not able to help him become able became the highlight of the training I offered there that year as well as the next. [read my narrative about it HERE.]

She and I became friends sometime after that. She was no longer the girl with no legs who was an orphan turned teacher. She is MeiNu, beautiful girl, who likes makeup and selfies and silly phone filters. She wants to learn English, dreams about going to America one day, and wants to marry (but not just anyone, the person she can love and who loves her, she explained to me). She’s also one of the bravest people I know. This past summer, she quit her job as a teacher in the orphanage and took all the money she had saved and took a train to Shanghai. By. her. self. She got a job as a “course consultant” which she says she doesn’t like and is boring. But, she’s living on her own, using a wheelchair and taking taxis and going out to restaurants just like any other 28 year old woman.

When I told her I was going to be in the same city she was, she insisted we meet up. She took the day off of work to come see me and my companions, gave me a necklace and gave snacks to all four of us, and took us all out to the fanciest hot pot dinner I’ve ever gone to in China (complete with required hair bands, aprons, and baggies for our phones). We didn’t say much to each other since her English isn’t good and my Chinese is worse. But, we were together not as a foreigner observing her or judging her, just as friends.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

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