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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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I’m not advocating for a stranger anymore #2014top10 #3

12.31.14

I was told there were no flights out of Beijing on March 12th. No flights? How could that be? What that meant was that if we really wanted to travel on that day, our trip that would have been a 13 hour plane ride followed by several hours in Chicago followed by a 2 hour flight to Philly just increased by about 10 hours. We had the worst itinerary ever—an early morning domestic flight to another city in China, an 8 hour layover, and then a flight to Chicago and then our flights home. Great.

When I called my friend and traveling companion to tell her the bad news, she suggested we make the best of it, get out of the airport, make it a fun layover, see the town. Then, we both remembered that he lived there. But, there was no way we’d get permission to visit him. I was sure of it.

But, apparently, God was in charge of our itinerary all along.

QuiLe 1

He was anxious to greet us when we arrived, hurrying to put on his shoes. The boys in his room were calling his name. They all knew he had special visitors coming to see him. He was a little quiet at first and hindered by the gap created by our English and his Mandarin. But, chocolate fixes lots of things. He smiled big, showing off his dimples and at least two Enlish words as I handed him a big chocolate bar from America.

Thank you!

We spent an hour with him, hearing from him about how he likes math and basketball. We saw his classroom and his prize winning handwriting assignment. I saw his second grade workbook where he was doing math more advanced than my son the same age is doing in his American 2nd grade class. I saw the love his teacher and caregiver have for him, a boy who has had a rough start but who very much seems like a normal, active little guy. We heard from him that most of his friends including his best friend have already been adopted. We asked him if he wanted a family, brothers and sisters, a big move to America.

Yes.

I touched his face, tickled his cheeks, patted his head, silently prayed over him in person as I have prayed from the other side of the world.

6

I told someone there that I thought he’d make a wonderful son and how sorry I was that he was still waiting. That someone typed something into a phone and showed it to me, unable to say it without the help of technology…or unable to say it aloud in the presence of others.

It read in Chinese:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

QuiLe 2

At the end of our visit, we walked him back to his room. I gave him another chocolate bar to save for later and told him how special he was and that we came all the way from America just to see him. It wasn’t about us at all; we aren’t all that. But, I wanted to give him that. I wanted him to know he was worth a trip across the world.

Today’s his 8th birthday. I wonder if he saved any of his chocolate bar to eat today. We prayed for him as a family today, praying that his family sees his face and that God would show Himself sovereign over their itinerary too and reveal to them that he is worth a trip across the world and back again to make him a beloved son.

5

To read more about my commitment to advocate for him, please see this post.

To read more about my first post about him, please read this post.

If you want to know more about adopting him, please contact me. I would love to share more pictures, some video, and everything I know about him.

___________________________

He’s no longer an orphan. :) And, I’m going to meet him again at the end of January, now with his family.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, China, Orphans

Lucy Joy #2014top10 #9

12.31.14

I met her in March, a shy little girl with beautiful braids someone painstakingly created each morning.

Find her a family. She’s very clever.

She sang me a song, recited a poem, and did math problems aloud at her ayi’s command. Her presentation ended in a stream of tears, her sweet spirit anxious at having to perform and prove her cleverness for a foreigner. I took noted and promised I’d try. But, by the end of the week, a scurry and buzz among the working staff at my mention of her name revealed that they had just learned that day she had a family afterall.

Four months later, I got a message in my inbox:

When you were serving at the orphanage, did you happen to meet this little girl?

Instead of me finding a family for HY, her family had found me. We spoke on the phone, and I talked until my throat was sore, sharing all I could about their sweet little sparrow and the place that was her home. They thanked me over and over and said I was blessing them. I went to bed happy that night feeling like all was well with the world.

When I returned a few months later, last month, I brought something with me, a special delivery made out of photos and paper that I carried like it was precious treasure. This time, instead of HY giving me a presentation, I had a presentation of my own for her.

On Tuesday afternoon, I pulled that treasure out of my bag and with trembling hands and voice handed it to my dear friend.

Mama. Baba. Jie Jie. Jie Jie. Ge Ge. Di Di.

pws068

pws074

Her eyes got big as she pulled the photos close. Her first reaction of quiet turned into words, and she echoed me.

Mama. Baba. Jie Jie. Jie Jie. Ge Ge. Di Di.

and again.

Mama. Baba. Jie Jie. Jie Jie. Ge Ge. Di Di.

She smile a smile like none I had ever seen before and looked up at her ayi and said:

I miss my Mama.

She owned the moment and breathed in the joy herself at the realization that her family was coming for her.

Lucy Joy. Your name is Lucy.

The same buzz and scurrying I had seen in March ensued and I could her her name repeated over and over as if in an angelic chorus. Lucy. Lucy. Lucy. 

And, then she said it herself.

Lucy.

Her spirit sighed as her very breath formed the word of her name—Lucy. 

It was now her turn to scurry and flutter around, showing giggling staff and admiring friends her new family and telling them her name—Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! 

They shared her celebration with thumbs up and pats on the back. Children still waiting jumped up and down for her. Children who would never have that moment themselves hugged her and told her how beautiful her mother was.

It was a highlight of my last trip, an experience I will never forget, one I have told my children about and one I’ll tell my children’s children about. It was the day I got to stand in the gap in the sacred place of transition for a little girl who was moving from an orphan with little hope of a future to a beloved daughter. It was the day God showed me a glimpse of what selfless love looks like as orphans celebrated their friend’s story with genuine joy that she was no longer alone even they will remain.

Lucy laughs

Lucy Joy. 

You’re almost home, precious girl. They’re coming for you.

note:

story and photos all shared with permission

from Lucy’s mama

who now has her home!

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Orphans

My Psalm of Response #2014top10 #10

12.31.14

Kelly in park with fave

O Lord, Sovereign God, maker of all things, sustainer of life.
You know all things; nothing exists that you do not know.
But, you don’t stop there. You don’t just know all things; you are engaged with all things.
You are always present, always active, always working.

Lord, it was you who nudged me. It was you who stirred my spirit.
It was you who gently led me and fully provided.
It was you who picked me up and carried me across the world as your ambassador.
It was you who whispered encouragement in my ear and into my heart and upheld me.

You said, “This is my servant. I am her God. I delight in her,” proving yourself faithful not because of who I am but because of who you are.
Your song over me and your joy in me sustained me when my knees were weak and lifted my spirit when I was weary.

You led me on a path I did not know, a path I thought would bring your light to a dark place.
But, that path led me to you, father to the fatherless, companion to the lonely, the One true friend to the seeking.
You were already there, already at work, already drying tears and healing broken hearts.
You were already closing the gaps on tiny lips and in people’s lives.

You don’t need me to bring you there. You don’t need me to be a savior.
I lay down before you knowing I am unable, aware of my frailty and my own need to be saved.
But, you lift me up and welcome me as your child to be a part my Father’s work.
You invite me to love with my heart, head, and hands despite of myself.

You are higher than the mountains, louder than the cries of humanity, bigger than the greatest walls man can build.
You show compassion to those without a family and those who grieve not cradling their children.
You guide the hands of even those who do not yet know you to do your work. You give glimpses of you.
How can I not know you more, crave you more, love you more?

O Lord, Sovereign God, maker of all things, sustainer of life.
You know all things; nothing exists that you do not know.
Thank you for calling me, saving me, loving me, using me.
You are the only sovereign Lord, and I am your servant.

China group shot
China picture
Kelly holding child

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, China, Orphans, words about faith

Listen {creative writing guest post}

11.26.14

I can see an airplane from where I am. The tails of cloud widening out behind it. It looks like the flames of the birthday cake candle I saw on the TV in Miss Fu’s office and I can’t help but squint and pinch it with my outstretched fingers. Is it small or big? I have never seen one up close. They are always just dots against the wide, flat sky. And how do they stay up there? God must live in whatever country they come from.

I’ve heard of God and am sure he could make metal fly. At least that’s what Mei Mei says and she knows God. She met him in an ambulance in Beijing when she had her heart surgery.  She says he visits our orphanage at night sometimes so I often stay up past lights-out to hear him. Lying on my bed with my eyes closed so Ayi won’t see, I wait. Does he sound like wind? I have heard that he speaks Mandarin and Cantonese and can sing like a bird—at least that’s what Mei Mei says.

I wonder if he knows my mother and father. I have never met them, and Ayi says she is my mother for now, but I know I have parents that love me and will come find me. I must, because Kang Ming’s parents found him. So did Chu Guan’s and Xiao Bo’s. I wonder if I ask God, if he will tell me what they look like. I think my father is tall and thin and solemn, and mother must have beautiful hair like mine. Ayi braids my hair in intricate patterns and I like to think my mom will do the same.

What if God spoke to me and I didn’t understand? Was the sound of the clouds hitting together, him? Or the rain tapping against the roof above me? There have been three rainstorms this month so I hope I haven’t missed it. I tried to listen for a pattern but there was none. I have ruled out the voice booming across the square because it belongs to Mr. Ping and he is very mean. God does not treat people like that.

Because I think God made me and my parents and Ayi. He made us to look like him. To look beautiful. Mei Mei says it says so in the Bible. That’s the book that God wrote that Mei Mei hides under her blankets from Ayi, the one that is black and ripped and smells like old sandals. I want to read it but it’s in a language I have never seen where the letters are all separate and look like little buildings. But Mei Mei tells me that God is our Father. I am not sure what she means by this, but I believe Mei Mei because I always wanted a sister and it makes me happy to know that someone will protect me when the older boys fight and throw rocks and curse at each other. I wish I could meet God though. I wish that if I waved my arm big enough the airplane would see me and come down and take me to meet God. Or at least maybe they could bring me a Bible that is written in Mandarin so I could read it and see if Mei Mei is telling the truth because sometimes she lies about knowing famous people.  But the plane is so small now and I can hear the Ayi yelling for mealtime. Her voice is echoing against the yard wall so it sounds like two voices. For a second I thought I heard a pattern, I thought I heard God but Ayi is shouting and I can’t hear past her telling me to stop walking with my eyes closed and come eat. It is mealtime now, but someday I will meet God and my parents. I know that they are there and I will not stop listening.

_________________________________

Ben Leaman bio pic

Ben Leaman

My name is Ben. I am a photographer/writer from Phoenixville, PA. My wife, Abbey, and I have been involved with Kelly, Mark, and The Sparrow Fund for 3 years and count them among our closest friends. I write to unearth myself, my past, the collective history of my family, from the compression of memory over time. I write for the moment when a bit of dispatched truth pushes out from the din of the everyday and whispers: I made you. Remember me.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Orphans

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