You read THIS POST as the October 2014 team was just starting out.

You read THIS POST about one of our if-only-for-just-this-one-moment moments.

You read THIS POST about the heart behind the work, why we do it.

You read about team members’ experiences HERE and HERE and HERE.

You read my Psalm of Response as my heart was laid bare coming home.

As a team, we step out in faith, some traveling across oceans for the very first time. It is a big deal. It’s not something that just happens without much effort. There’s lots of preparing and lots of money involved, team conference calls, and a whole lot of coordinating. We don’t do it to “give back.” We can’t possibly serve for essentially a week at a Chinese orphanage and come remotely close to giving enough to warrant the phrase. We go for relationships, to enter into life with people–the children who are alone in crowded rooms, the women whose lives are about caring for children so that they can become someone else’s son or daughter, and the men responsible for leading and making decisions that change people’s worlds. We go so the bridge between us can get a few more planks. It’s what He is about, so it’s what we want to be about too.

Today, registration opens for our next trip. October 7th-18th, 2015 seems so far away. But, we are starting now because there’s a good bit of planning to do. And, honestly, we’re pretty excited to get started.

We can take up to 12 women and at least 3 men. Some of the spots are already filled since previous team members are encouraged to go again. So, space is very limited. If you want to learn more about the trip, email me. I’d love to tell you more details and how it’s more than just a short-term trip. And, if you have a heart to get involved in any other way, feel free to email me too.

We can’t go without the help of a lot of people sending us.

I can’t wait to see who is on this next team.

I’m sitting at my desk, the lump in my throat rising, the pain in my chest growing. It feels so real to me, the discomfort over the loss of all comfort.

The safe haven in Jinan China touted for it’s bright pink and green and cartoon images on the windows to give privacy that opened on June 1st has “exceeded expectations.”

44 children.

44 children in 6 days.

44 children, all ill.

I am one who rises to the defense of parents in China in general who make the decision to walk away from their child. When someone shakes their head or mutters a “How could…?” style question, I am the first to interject, to attempt to explain with compassion about a place where adoption plans are not legal and expectations and family and life are all riddled with things we cannot understand. I believe the words I share with all of my heart.

from www.womenofchina.cn

Yet, there are times when I read an article like this and see the picture of a child believed to be drugged before being thrown from a car outside the “safe” haven that I feel like I have seen and heard enough, that the brokenness in this world is too much to bear.

There are 25 safe havens throughout China. I’m glad they’re there. But, oh, how my heart breaks to offer something more, something to make the lack of “deliveries” exceed expectations. How I wish I could serve right there at the door and offer counsel…something…something to make things different. I’m not sure it would matter in the long run when I would leave and they have everyday in front of them.

I feel the lump in my throat again. And, feel glad for once that I can’t speak Mandarin because I know that watching and actually understanding the language in this news clip would likely incite me more and make this lump something else entirely.