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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Without further ado…meet “Jasper’s” family {guest post}

8.1.16

It was a hard morning for the obvious reason. We were saying goodbye to the little boy who had most definitely changed us and won our hearts…all five of our hearts. But, it was harder still that we were sending him back technically “unmatched.” I was worried that his two buddies who had been matched with families since coming to America would talk about coming back and that our sweet Jasper would be left wondering why his story would turn out differently. He needed to be someone’s son. He needed to have a forever family. Of course, my heart ached as I watched him walk down the security line and I couldn’t tell him, “we will see you again.” But there was one thing I did know in all that sadness—I know a God who created this boy for a purpose, a God who loves him more than we do, a God who called us to be part of his story. And the thing is, I believe every word my God tells me, and I trust His promises. I knew in that sadness, my God was in control.

You see, several days earlier, I spoke to a woman who lived in a state I have never been to, in a place unfamiliar to me. We talked about him. She was smitten with him, and I could feel her intensity and honest desire through the phone, to know this boy. She said, “we are going to leave, and drive to meet him.” I was overwhelmed by her passion as this drive would be no easy feat, leaving behind 3 young children and a large farm in their absence. My husband and I prayed for them that this would be his family. They pulled up the next day (after 14 hours) at a farewell picnic for the children and their host families, and I watched she and her husband smile as they watched him play and laugh in his adorable way. I felt His peace. It was a bitter sweet feeling, almost like watching your child be married off (I imagine)…there they go…I hope I did everything right, I hope they are loved as much…no, more, than we do. I felt the presence of my God assuring me of His plan, and His great love.

He has a forever family, dear friends. He is coming back to live as every child should, in a secure home, with stable and consistent love. With the promise that he will always have someone to call him son. And even better, with the chance to grow up meeting the very God who brought this family to him and secured this love. I’d say that is the best ending to his story that could ever be. And we are so very, very blessed to be but a small chapter in it all.

__________________________________________________

Many of you have come to know and love this little boy “Jasper.” Many of you have followed the story of him and his friends, their journey to America, their new experiences. Many of you have read the messages from his host mom, detailing what a sweet, happy, and loving boy he is. Many of you have prayed for him to find his forever family.

Now let me tell you about someone you don’t know—a family, actually. A family of five. Husband Ed, wife Allison, and three boys aged 5, 7, and 9. That’s us. We’re a pretty average family just trying to follow God’s plan. Three years ago, we were called to adopt a little guy from China. We listened. We made that 2-year-old boy our son. And, it turned our comfortable life upside down! When things finally stabilized (somewhat!), we started to think about adopting again. Then, one day I saw THE picture. You know the one I’m talking about, the one with the three best friends in their bright orange shirts. It did me in!

Jasper. Brett. Joel (4)

With every word Beth shared about him, I became more and more smitten until we decided we needed to do something big. Two days before “Jasper” returned to China, my husband and I drove 14 hours to spend one hour watching “Jasper” and talking to his host family. Then, we turned around and drove 14 hours back home. We talked about things. We talked to our boys. We learned more about “Jasper’s” special needs. We wanted to make sure we weren’t just getting caught up in the moment. Most of all, we wanted to pray about it. The only way to know what our role was to be in “Jasper’s” life was to pray about it.

8 days after that day we drove to Philly, allow me to introduce myself.

Hi! I’m Allison. I’m “Jasper’s” mom.

Jasper family pic

__________________________________________________

It is with very happy hearts that we share that ALL the children hosted are coming back! Every child has been matched with a forever family who are all now racing to do paperwork and bring them home fast!

Oh happy day!!!

If you are interested in hosting, please contact Sarah, the social worker at Madison. She is currently planning hosting for January as well as next summer.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, guest post

Without further ado…meet M.Y.’s family {guest post}

7.18.16

Once upon a time, a girl married her very best friend. And, life was good. God blessed them with one son, then two sons, then three, then four, then five sons. Son #4 waits for their joyous reunion in heaven one day. But, even amidst loss, life was good. It was a life filled with love and laughter and lots and lots of testosterone! And, their family was complete.

But, God has a way of working in unexpected ways. The nudge to adopt was persistent, but equally persistent was their ignoring of the nudge. “We can’t afford it,” they said; “We are too old,” they said. But, God’s nudges turned into audible, tangible undeniable leading and they finally said yes to adopting a son in 2013. They stood amazed at how the life that was good already could increase in goodness, but it did. Their new son was their delight, and now their family was complete.

But, God has a way of working in unexpected ways. They found themselves longing to adopt another child. But, they became quite good and pushing it aside. “Adoption is so very expensive!” “We still have loans to pay off from our first adoption;” “After years of struggling financially, we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel;” “And, we are even older now!” So, the longings were ignored and the quiet nudges were ignored as well and justified away…until last month.

Friends were hosting a little boy from China this summer. “Isn’t that great? Oh boy, he’s so handsome.” She shared pictures of Lego creations he made. “Wow! Isn’t that incredible that he made those himself? Josiah would love him.” She posted these words:

Oh my goodness. He just sat down at our dining room table and imitated us praying complete with hands folded and a “dear Lord” in the beginning. ‪#‎Hehearshim‬ ‪#‎findinghisfamily‬ ‪#‎whohasroomforonemore‬

“Oh wow. Do we have room for him?” With every post, what started as a quiet nudge increased in volume until it was a loud voice that we could no longer ignore. A whirlwind of conversations and connections led to a trip East to Philadelphia where we spent a weekend with our friends and the boy they were hosting who we learned was our son.

We are his family.

Mark and Kelly and their four children committed to following God’s call through hosting a sweet boy from China; they prayed that God would move through their efforts to provide him with a family of his own. God’s will became clear as both families prayed for His guidance. His handwriting was on the wall—in the support of our older sons, in the time we spent in Philadelphia, in the encouragement from Mark and Kelly, in the prayers of our son Josiah, in the unity between us. Early on in the process, before we gave our resounding yes, I voiced my fear: “It sure would be easier if we just dropped the whole thing.” One of our sons responded with, “Since when does God call us to do what’s easy?”

On the day after we returned, the day we knew we needed to respond one way or another, this is what my husband and I read during morning devotions:

Oh, Lord, what an amazing opportunity you have spread out before me – a chance to make a difference for you in a desperately hurting world. Help me to see the needs you want me to see, to react in a way that honors you, and to bless others by serving them gladly with practical expressions of your love. Help me be Jesus’ hands and feet, and through your Spirit give me the strength and wisdom I need to fulfill your plan for me in my own generation. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Later that day, we sent this message to Kelly:

M.Y. is going to be a DeVries. Happy Day!!

Our son…the seventh son of a girl and her best friend is coming home! We praise God who does far more than we could ask or imagine. He IS a good, good Father.

July 10 Devries

_____________________________________________________________

Follow their journey to bring him home on THIS FACEBOOK PAGE. Consider helping them HERE so that M.Y. doesn’t wait a single day more than he needs to because of any reason related to finances. 

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, M.Y.

A new pair of shoes {guest post by “Jasper’s” host mom}

7.13.16

Beth, Jasper’s host mom, has shared here a few times over the last month. Tonight, I give her this space once again because these words and her heart behind them should be shared.

______________________________________________

Jasper's shoes
Yesterday, while at the farewell picnic, he came to me with a confused look. Was he upset about seeing the director from his orphanage for the first time since arrival? was he hurt? was he missing us? No, one of his beloved Lightening McQueen sandals that we had bought for him the day he arrived had broken. I made a fuss over the broken shoe and promised him that we would get him a new pair before he left. He shook his head gently and put his shoe back on with the strap loosely draped, exposing his skinny little feet. He hopped off of my lap and ran back to the other kids, not caring that as he ran, his shoe flopped around.

This morning, he came into my bedroom, as he always does. It is his last day. He was wearing his pajamas…and the broken sandals. I showed him that they were broken again. He shook his head again and grabbed my hand to get out of bed. At breakfast, I noticed just how worn and tired his broken sandals were, after only 4 weeks. As I cooked scrambled eggs for what seemed like the millionth time this month, I reflected on all that those sandals have done, experienced, been through on the feet of this little boy. Of course they look that way. They have been dragged as he learned to ride a bike. They have been drenched when he jumped through the sprinkler. They have been washed in the ocean as they sat in the hot sand all day. They have been covered in melting chocolate ice cream (many times). They have been on scooters and 4 wheelers, ladders and slides. They have been to stores, farms, playgrounds, and on trampolines. And, now, one was broken. I took him this morning to get a new pair. Again, he wasn’t impressed and didn’t show the urgency that I was feeling to get him a fresh new pair. He picked out the new sandals and put them on. We paid for them and left to come home. I put his old shoes on the floor and just stared at them.

What a journey this has been. I feel a bit like those shoes. Very worn, very tired, and very broken. But, just like Jasper, I don’t really want a new pair of shoes. I am content with the exhaustion, the wear, the brokenness of the knowledge that he is going back tomorrow. It is in all of this that I see the memories we have made with him, but more importantly, the lessons of grace, beauty, and love that have come with his time here. I don’t think I would want a new, fancy, fresh pair of shoes. I like the tired, worn, broken pair. It is in this place that I feel closest to God and see Him the most clearly. It has been an amazing journey, and even though we are broken at the thought of him leaving, we still want to wear those old shoes. But, I think I will do like he did now and embrace what we have and who we are, even in a broken state, and go run in His goodness and grace.

Jasper at picnic

_____________________________________

After being here for a month, tomorrow “Brett” and “Jasper” return to their orphanage in China. Thankfully, we know “Brett” will be coming back to the family who has said yes to making him their child. If you want to learn more about “Jasper” or any of the other children hosted who do not yet have a family committed to bringing them home OR about hosting yourself, email me and/or Sara, the social worker at Madison who manages the hosting program in our area.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, guest post

For this I toil

7.13.16

Mornings in my green chair have been occupied by me, coffee, and Colossians for the past few weeks. Every word I read I applied to that moment, knowing that a little boy would soon be coming down my stairs speaking words I was only beginning to understand and holding tightly to the hand of my son.

In the very first chapter, the beginning of his letter to his brothers and sisters in Colossae, after he has assured them of his love for them and his ongoing prayers for them even from afar, he reminds them of his purpose, his bigger purpose.

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

I pictured Paul rehearsing the words he wanted to give these friends. I wonder if the practice served as a good reminder to him as well. And, I realized sitting there quietly in my green chair, that I really needed that reminder myself. I grabbed my pen and started scribbling my own thoughts.

I rejoice in the daily challenge that being your mother for this season brings because I know God called me to this job so that you may be introduced to Him who made the whole universe and made the intentional decision to make you in it and so that you may understand that you are worthy and wonderful because you truly are. As I care for you in every way and pour myself out for your sake, I am proclaiming these truths even without words so that hope may become stronger than your hurts. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

There my purpose rested, in black ink in the margins of my notebook. Everyday, I’d read them again, words directed at him that he couldn’t and wouldn’t read, but words that served to remind me of my purpose and encourage me in it. There’s no mention in these words about finding a family for him, and that was on purpose. It may seem strange to not include that there given that it is such a large part of this—hosting a child without a family to advocate so that he gains a family. But, I realized as he was here and through the experience of advocating for this precious boy that my purpose was bigger than even that. It wasn’t hard for me to remember that I was seeking a family for him; I needed to be reminded of the bigger purpose.

I’ve promoted hosting programs for the purpose of finding children who have waited too long families. And, I still do. But, I don’t want to measure their success by only that. There’s more that happens here in a home when a child without a home enters in for a season. Hope grows. I don’t know who spoke into his heart over the last 8 years in China; someone did. And, I don’t know what messages they sent into it. But, in our home, each one of us have spoken directly into this boy’s heart:

You matter.
You are known.
You are loved even when you aren’t lovable.
No matter where you are in the world, you are not alone.

My time in my green chair was short this morning. It’s his last day here. He came down earlier than normal and leaned his slim frame into me. His first words were “one more day” as he held one finger up. Then, he hugged me.

I have that familiar feeling of tightness in my chest and a lump in my throat. My heart is closer to the outside than I am comfortable with it being. But, even in this vulnerable place, I can say it is well with my soul. We have loved him well. Each one of us from little Lydia to quiet Evan have been hope builders. We have done what we were called to do.

And, it is with great great joy that we can send him off not only knowing we have loved him well but with the knowledge that our goodbye is not forever.

As of Monday night, he has a family coming for him.

July 10 He has a family

Now, we can add one more message to those messages sent into his heart:

You are coming home…for good. for lots and lots of good.

__________________________________________

The Sparrow Fund is still trying to collect money to pay the orphanage donation for both “Brett” and “Jasper.” Please consider being a part of that effort by clicking HERE. There is still a matching grant of up to $500 being offered. Note that the link to donate is fussy on mobile devices. You may have to click through to donate using your big ole desktop or laptop.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, M.Y.

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