My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

The child still waiting

I scrolled through literally thousands of images today from trips to China. Thousands more fill my head that I wish I had in jpg form forever preserved. So much joy captured in flat images on my screen. So many children no longer orphans. So many children who have gone from lost to found, from lonely to a beloved son or daughter.

I want the joy to overwhelm me for those children who I know by their Chinese names who now have new names and last names…last names. Yet, my heart hurts over one.

When I saw him last, he asked me how one of his friends was doing now that he was in America. He told me he missed him, that he hoped to see him again.

I gave him some artwork that the boy had made and sent with me as a gift for the orphanage. He smiled so big his eyes looked entirely shut, and he thanked me a few times over.

He giggled as the doctors on the team asked him to jump rope and look this way and push his tongue out that way. He tried to do everything we asked him to do and told us when it was just a little bit too hard to do. And, he asked if he’d ever get to come to America.

I want to celebrate with all the stories I have been able to witness, all the redemption there. I do celebrate. But, how I wish I could add this boy’s picture to those.

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“Joe” is eligible for adoption through Madison Adoption Associates and will AGE OUT of adoption in August. He is diagnosed with septo-optic dysplasia which sounds super significant and scary. But, he sees and he smiles and he wants a family. There is a $5,000 Bright Futures grant available to the family who says yes to him. Email me or Sarah@madisonadoption.org for more information.

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happy happy day. {he met his gege}

There was quite a crowd outside the orphanage. And, most of them were wearing matching shirts. We were all there. All were jittery with excitement to experience what was about to happen.

The school kids were getting off the bus at the gate of the orphanage soon. And, we were there to greet them. In that group of school kids were kids we’d all love by the end of the week. But, that day, there were two boys we already loved.

We responded like children ourselves when we saw the yellow bus arrive and a group of kids in orange jackets walk off. We clapped our hands and jumped up and down and started yelling their names. And, we saw them smile from a distance when they realized who it was at the other end of the drive waiting for them.

Our team held back a bit, cameras and tissues out as they experienced it with us. M.Y.’s buddy showed us off to their friends who clearly understood who we are, calling me Ayi and Ashlyn “ash-a-lyn” right along with him. But, M.Y. stood back, as we expected he would, smiling but still, clearly working to process the fact that there we were. And, moments later, taking in the fact that there was someone I needed him to meet.

I had practiced it over and over before we left home all in preparation for this moment. Ta shi Josiah de gege. Ta shi M.Y. de gege. (He is Josiah’s big brother. He is your big brother.) He looked at me. He looked at Kyle. And, his smile got bigger. He nodded his head. I don’t know if he recognized him from the photo album he had already received or not. But, I know he got it. This tall boy was his brother. His brother. It’s really happening. He has a family.

I never imagined this scene when we brought a scared little boy home from the airport late at night, when we taught him to play Uno and laughed when he cheated, when we taught him to pray and tucked him into a bottom bunk bed, when we clapped and cheered at him conquering his fear of the pool, when we held his hand and showed him the ocean for the first time. We committed to hosting him to help find him a family. But, I never imagined I’d have the privilege of being hosted in his space 6 months later and being able to physically take his hand and put it into that of the boy who will do all those things we did and much much more everyday of the rest of his life.

Oh happy day. Oh happy happy day.

First two photos credited to Nicole Renee of Living Out His Love. Last photo credited to Ashlyn. 

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Beautiful girl

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They told me she was introverted, easygoing, compliant. They told me that she gets sad sometimes but that she is easily comforted when her nanny, who clearly cares for her well, explains right and wrong. They told me that she can write her Chinese characters quite well, that her receptive knowledge is good, that her expression is okay. They told me she is good at math compared to other children in her class. And, they told me she really likes music and dancing and that she is remarkably talented.

I nodded my head and smiled. I believed them. Sure, I’m sure she enjoys music and likes to dance. And, it was endearing to hear her nanny say that she was talented in dancing…so sweet.

And, then they asked if I’d like her to show us.

This little girl hasn’t had her papers submitted yet. She has Down Syndrome, they told me, as if when I heard the words I’d agree that she would not be wanted.

She has Down Syndrome. And, she is beautiful and marvelous in every way. And, oh, how I hope that someone has room in their family for her.

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he’s finally ready {advocating}

ZhouCheng 2014

With every trip to the orphanage, I’d see him again. The first time we met, he smiled from afar. Now, he runs to greet me and holds my hand and asks me how his friends are doing who have been adopted. I wondered why he still waited. Yes, he’s older. But, why would he not have been adopted sooner?

 

kelly with ZC

His file was never ready.

Babies and peers were made paper ready for adoption. But, he waited. When we visited, I asked if we could evaluate him too. He’s smart, I told them. He is warm and friendly, sweet with other children. Why not prepare his papers and see if a family would want to make him a son.

But, he’s so old, they said. And, his eye is not right, they said.

But, they did it.

Now, close to being too old to be adopted legally, he’s finally been made paper ready. When I shared with one of the directors the good news that his file had finally made it to America and that he might have a chance now, he sent me these words:

Z is a smart, lively, cheerful, kind, respectful, considerate, so handsome, handsome, boy! He has had some healthy problem, same age has a certain gap. But, his language development and intellectual development is basic as same age children. I take Z to my home for the weekend and to children’s park with friends and for family party. He will take care of others, not only will take care of himself. Everyone notices how he is considerate and takes care of people. For this, my son envies him! In my house, he gets up very early, has to tidy up the bed, then sweep the floor, mop the floor, and clean the house. He does it all cheerfully. He also helps me pick vegetables and wash the dishes. He bathes himself and sets his underwear and socks aside to dry up. In outdoor activities, when I barbecue, he will stand beside me and fan me and wipe the sweat from my face. His self-discipline is very strong, very obedient. He doesn’t let himself do things he shouldn’t do. At any time, even at the time of playing computer games, if he is told to stop, he stops to accept instructions (generally, even when urged many times, children ignore parents’ instructions when playing games!). Z himself is very willing to be adopted by a family and wants a home!

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Z is listed as special focus which means that any family, regardless of if they are paper ready themselves, can commit to adopting him. If you are interested in reviewing his file, please contact waitingchildren@awaa.org today.

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