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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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He’s more than worth it {advocating}

6.19.15

His warm smile took the sting out of his question.

Am I worth it?

He knows he’s different. He can’t remember the parents who discovered he couldn’t hear the words they spoke to him and decided to walk away from him when he was a toddler. He couldn’t hear the police officer who asked him where they were.

The orphanage became his home; the staff became his advocates, caring for his daily needs. I wonder if he felt worth it when he posed for pictures as a 5 or 6 year old when they prepared his papers to be offered to families to adopt. I wonder if he felt worth it when he never heard a thing about those pictures.

He’s 13 years old now, on the verge of celebrating a birthday that would make him never able to become a son. When he turns 14 in January, when his foster mother makes him a cake as I know she will, I wonder if he’ll celebrate or stomp his feet and cry. Maybe both.

For some reason, those pictures and papers that the staff prepared about him to show to potential families never became public until this past spring. For years, they must have sat somewhere in a stack of papers with those representing other children like him. At nearly 13 1/2, maybe 8 years after those pictures were taken, his papers showed up, right about at the same time that a team of Americans visited his home and met him.

They sat together with little expectation of actual communication. The boy cannot hear. He goes to a special school for the deaf, but no one else here at the orphanage or on the team knows sign language. This is going to be a short conversation. 

But, it wasn’t. It went on for hours as he patiently somehow communicated to the team. He likes video games and the NBA. He loves his brothers who he shares a foster home with. His foster mother cries when she talks about him; she thinks he’s a “clever and positive” boy. She says he always smiles. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, he simply says he wants to be a son. He says they don’t have to know sign language; he hasn’t had that for 13 years. He just wants to call someone Mom and Dad, maybe have a brother, know he belongs, and that’s he worth it.

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He needs a family willing willing to move fast to beat the January deadline the law has in place that will make him no longer eligible to be a son. He’s on the shared list now which means any adoption agency working with China’s special needs program can lock his file for a family, even if they have not started any paperwork yet. Want more information? I’ve got his file which I am guarding for his protection and that of his future family, believing they are out there. But, I will do my best to answer any questions I can. 

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, Orphans

I’m not advocating for a stranger anymore #2014top10 #3

12.31.14

I was told there were no flights out of Beijing on March 12th. No flights? How could that be? What that meant was that if we really wanted to travel on that day, our trip that would have been a 13 hour plane ride followed by several hours in Chicago followed by a 2 hour flight to Philly just increased by about 10 hours. We had the worst itinerary ever—an early morning domestic flight to another city in China, an 8 hour layover, and then a flight to Chicago and then our flights home. Great.

When I called my friend and traveling companion to tell her the bad news, she suggested we make the best of it, get out of the airport, make it a fun layover, see the town. Then, we both remembered that he lived there. But, there was no way we’d get permission to visit him. I was sure of it.

But, apparently, God was in charge of our itinerary all along.

QuiLe 1

He was anxious to greet us when we arrived, hurrying to put on his shoes. The boys in his room were calling his name. They all knew he had special visitors coming to see him. He was a little quiet at first and hindered by the gap created by our English and his Mandarin. But, chocolate fixes lots of things. He smiled big, showing off his dimples and at least two Enlish words as I handed him a big chocolate bar from America.

Thank you!

We spent an hour with him, hearing from him about how he likes math and basketball. We saw his classroom and his prize winning handwriting assignment. I saw his second grade workbook where he was doing math more advanced than my son the same age is doing in his American 2nd grade class. I saw the love his teacher and caregiver have for him, a boy who has had a rough start but who very much seems like a normal, active little guy. We heard from him that most of his friends including his best friend have already been adopted. We asked him if he wanted a family, brothers and sisters, a big move to America.

Yes.

I touched his face, tickled his cheeks, patted his head, silently prayed over him in person as I have prayed from the other side of the world.

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I told someone there that I thought he’d make a wonderful son and how sorry I was that he was still waiting. That someone typed something into a phone and showed it to me, unable to say it without the help of technology…or unable to say it aloud in the presence of others.

It read in Chinese:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

QuiLe 2

At the end of our visit, we walked him back to his room. I gave him another chocolate bar to save for later and told him how special he was and that we came all the way from America just to see him. It wasn’t about us at all; we aren’t all that. But, I wanted to give him that. I wanted him to know he was worth a trip across the world.

Today’s his 8th birthday. I wonder if he saved any of his chocolate bar to eat today. We prayed for him as a family today, praying that his family sees his face and that God would show Himself sovereign over their itinerary too and reveal to them that he is worth a trip across the world and back again to make him a beloved son.

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To read more about my commitment to advocate for him, please see this post.

To read more about my first post about him, please read this post.

If you want to know more about adopting him, please contact me. I would love to share more pictures, some video, and everything I know about him.

___________________________

He’s no longer an orphan. :) And, I’m going to meet him again at the end of January, now with his family.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, China, Orphans

My Psalm of Response #2014top10 #10

12.31.14

Kelly in park with fave

O Lord, Sovereign God, maker of all things, sustainer of life.
You know all things; nothing exists that you do not know.
But, you don’t stop there. You don’t just know all things; you are engaged with all things.
You are always present, always active, always working.

Lord, it was you who nudged me. It was you who stirred my spirit.
It was you who gently led me and fully provided.
It was you who picked me up and carried me across the world as your ambassador.
It was you who whispered encouragement in my ear and into my heart and upheld me.

You said, “This is my servant. I am her God. I delight in her,” proving yourself faithful not because of who I am but because of who you are.
Your song over me and your joy in me sustained me when my knees were weak and lifted my spirit when I was weary.

You led me on a path I did not know, a path I thought would bring your light to a dark place.
But, that path led me to you, father to the fatherless, companion to the lonely, the One true friend to the seeking.
You were already there, already at work, already drying tears and healing broken hearts.
You were already closing the gaps on tiny lips and in people’s lives.

You don’t need me to bring you there. You don’t need me to be a savior.
I lay down before you knowing I am unable, aware of my frailty and my own need to be saved.
But, you lift me up and welcome me as your child to be a part my Father’s work.
You invite me to love with my heart, head, and hands despite of myself.

You are higher than the mountains, louder than the cries of humanity, bigger than the greatest walls man can build.
You show compassion to those without a family and those who grieve not cradling their children.
You guide the hands of even those who do not yet know you to do your work. You give glimpses of you.
How can I not know you more, crave you more, love you more?

O Lord, Sovereign God, maker of all things, sustainer of life.
You know all things; nothing exists that you do not know.
Thank you for calling me, saving me, loving me, using me.
You are the only sovereign Lord, and I am your servant.

China group shot
China picture
Kelly holding child

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, China, Orphans, words about faith

Lucy Joy

11.9.14

I met her in March, a shy little girl with beautiful braids someone painstakingly created each morning.

Find her a family. She’s very clever.

She sang me a song, recited a poem, and did math problems aloud at her ayi’s command. Her presentation ended in a stream of tears, her sweet spirit anxious at having to perform and prove her cleverness for a foreigner. I took noted and promised I’d try. But, by the end of the week, a scurry and buzz among the working staff at my mention of her name revealed that they had just learned that day she had a family afterall.

Four months later, I got a message in my inbox:

When you were serving at the orphanage, did you happen to meet this little girl?

Instead of me finding a family for HY, her family had found me. We spoke on the phone, and I talked until my throat was sore, sharing all I could about their sweet little sparrow and the place that was her home. They thanked me over and over and said I was blessing them. I went to bed happy that night feeling like all was well with the world.

When I returned a few months later, last month, I brought something with me, a special delivery made out of photos and paper that I carried like it was precious treasure. This time, instead of HY giving me a presentation, I had a presentation of my own for her.

On Tuesday afternoon, I pulled that treasure out of my bag and with trembling hands and voice handed it to my dear friend.

Mama. Baba. Jie Jie. Jie Jie. Ge Ge. Di Di.

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Her eyes got big as she pulled the photos close. Her first reaction of quiet turned into words, and she echoed me.

Mama. Baba. Jie Jie. Jie Jie. Ge Ge. Di Di.

and again.

Mama. Baba. Jie Jie. Jie Jie. Ge Ge. Di Di.

She smile a smile like none I had ever seen before and looked up at her ayi and said:

I miss my Mama.

She owned the moment and breathed in the joy herself at the realization that her family was coming for her.

Lucy Joy. Your name is Lucy.

The same buzz and scurrying I had seen in March ensued and I could her her name repeated over and over as if in an angelic chorus. Lucy. Lucy. Lucy. 

And, then she said it herself.

Lucy.

Her spirit sighed as her very breath formed the word of her name—Lucy. 

It was now her turn to scurry and flutter around, showing giggling staff and admiring friends her new family and telling them her name—Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! 

They shared her celebration with thumbs up and pats on the back. Children still waiting jumped up and down for her. Children who would never have that moment themselves hugged her and told her how beautiful her mother was.

It was a highlight of my last trip, an experience I will never forget, one I have told my children about and one I’ll tell my children’s children about. It was the day I got to stand in the gap in the sacred place of transition for a little girl who was moving from an orphan with little hope of a future to a beloved daughter. It was the day God showed me a glimpse of what selfless love looks like as orphans celebrated their friend’s story with genuine joy that she was no longer alone even they will remain.

Lucy laughs

Lucy Joy. 

You’re almost home, precious girl. They’re coming for you.

note:

story and photos all shared with permission

from Lucy’s mama.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

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