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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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We’re Okay

4.1.10

Thank you so much for all the encouragement we got after our last blog post. We were miserable yesterday. We have no idea what it was that made us sick. We have been so careful about the water and have been neurotic about hand sanitizer. I can say that it was good that we were forced to be in for the day. Lydia made great strides yesterday with opening up to us. By evening, she was moving around a lot more and showing us a little bit more of an opinion (like fussing when I took away our room key card that she wanted to suck on). She was smiling more readily and even reached out to me once–big progress since she hasn’t paid much attention to me. 
As of 7:20am Thursday while I’m writing this, we have a lot more energy and are going to attempt to eat something at breakfast. Our plans are back on for today–a trip to Baoji to see Lydia’s hometown and see her orphanage and pick up the blanket that she was found in (something I am so thankful we can have as something from her birthparents). We are also hoping to meet up with an American couple who used to teach with my parents who happen to live now in Baoji. It’s going to be an eventful day—pray that our health continues to improve and that we can make it the 5 hours in the car today with no problems for any of us. Also, pray that we see more progress with her attachment to me especially and me to her today and that visiting the orphanage doesn’t set us back at all. 
We’ve taken over 900 pictures on this trip so far, but we took NONE yesterday. But, I’ll post a cool picture we took from the top of the city wall when we walked it the day before last. 
 
 
Thanks again for all the comments—keep them coming. And, just a little plug here for our wishes quilt for Lydia–if you haven’t contributed to it and would like to, we need a handful more. We’d love to have our “commenters” who have become part of this story to contribute. 

Dear Evan, Ashlyn, and Drew – sorry we haven’t been able to skype with you while you have been at the beach. I’m glad you are headed back to our house now so that we can see you and you can see the three of us. Enjoy your last day tomorrow with Nanma and Granddaddy. Grammy sent us an email and said she had some fun things planned for you guys! You have been so spoiled with McDonalds, Chick Fil A, movies, miniature golf. Do you even want us to come home? :) We love you all.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption journey

Not Good

3.31.10

Right now, it’s 1:35pm Wednesday our time (1:35am Wednesday morning your time). I hesitated to post anything today at all because I’d like to not remember it. But, gotta keep it real, right?
You know those big buses overflowing with Chinese people that own the road, squeezing out any car in their way? We feel like we got hit by one…or two. Mark and I both are so sick–not only are our stomachs a wreck but we can barely move. It has sucked the life out of us. We had to postpone our trip to Baoji today to visit Lydia’s orphanage. We are praying that we are better enough tomorrow to make it then. It’s so important to me. All day so far today, we have just laid in bed with Lydia between us playing. Mark managed to muster up enough strength to go find me a coke and some dry toast for all of us. Other than that, we’ve barely moved. 
I have followed blogs of other traveling adoptive families for years. I recall reading posts when they have said they were anxious to come home. I thought, “Really? This is a once in a lifetime trip. Enjoy it!” But, here I am, not even halfway through our trip, and I just want to come home. I didn’t feel like this yesterday, so I’m guessing it’s just because we are so sick. But, it’s hard emotionally to be here so ill and not have any conveniences of home. Just finding a coke was a challenge. I sure could use some encouragement. I feel so weak right now.
Lydia is doing so well though, and I have to say that even though I hate the fact that I’m lying in bed right now and our only form of passing the time is making up English words to go with the Chinese news broadcast (for the record, Mark is pretty funny at this), I’m glad she had the day to just play in the room. She’s coming out of her shell a little bit more, smiling a little more readily, making a little bit more noise. She still is not very active. If you put her on the bed, she just stays there where you planted her. Though we have practiced walking some (see the picture from yesterday when all was well), we have yet to see her crawl which we were told she does “very well.” But, I guess she will do this more as she gets more secure with us. We have noticed that even with me cutting a larger hole in a fast flow bottle nipple, she sweats a lot when she takes her bottle. Anyone else experience this?
As we were laying here moaning a little bit earlier, Mark said, “I’m glad we’re doing this.” I said, “What? Laying here sick as dogs?” He answered, “No, I’m glad we’re bringing her home.” I am too. I have to keep remembering that as I get discouraged. She’s worth all this no doubt.
 
 
Dear Evan – we heard the big news that you lost your tooth! We thought that thing might come out while we were gone! Hope Supertooth was able to make it to the beach to give you some money for it! Dear Ash – thanks for taking such good care of your brothers. I heard you have been very helpful. Dear Drew – we miss you, and Daddy can’t wait to wrestle with you soon. Enjoy your last 2 days with Nanma and Granddaddy before Grammy comes. We love you all.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption journey

Phew

3.30.10

It’s 11am Tuesday morning our time (11pm EST) and Lydia is doing much better. Her temp is down to 98.9. We’re going to keep her on tylenol today to make sure it stays down and continue with the amoxicillin for the full 10 day regimen. I’ve appreciated all the comments and emails. Sounds like this isn’t uncommon for newly adopted children which comforts us. I was pretty upset when we thought we’d have to take her to the doctor. As our doctor told us last night in the midst of everything, “glistening doesn’t equate with competence.” I get that. But, clean would sure make me feel better. I just now got an email from Lisa who received her daughter Izabella in Xi’an. She told me about a decent clinic not far from here. So, I feel much better having that info in case we need it.
I will share a little more about yesterday now–though my typing is slow with Lydia snuggled on my lap.
We had an appointment back at the Civil Affairs office for more paperwork and for our adoption interview. The orphanage directors were both there, and we got to ask them some more questions. They told us that 7 or 8 nannies cared for Lydia (who they called Yue Yue) and that they have 100 kids in their care. They said diarrhea is normal for her (we think she has giardia–she went through two sleepers in the first hour back in our room). We were told we could come by and pick up the clothes she was found in (Thanks so much, Kim, for that suggestion! I did not think to ask for those things!). We plan to head to Baoji tomorrow to do that and see her hometown.
We sat at the desk of the civil affairs official while he reviewed all our paperwork. Then, he started asking some questions (through our interpreter): How many kids do you have already? What are their ages? If you have 3 kids already, why do you want to adopt? Describe your jobs. Are you prepared and able to handle another child? Describe the plan you have for her future education and medical needs? Did you get all the information you wanted about the child? Do you have any questions about her or about Chinese adoption laws? Is she acceptable to you? Finally, the official gave us a sort of blessing, saying that she will no longer live the life of an orphan but that she will have a family and that he is glad she will have a mother and father and have a happy life. It was a significant moment to hear those words. Then, we signed a bunch of papers (there were in Chinese, so not sure what exactly we were signing. But, we knew they meant she would be ours) and even had to put our fingerprint next to our signatures. Then, Lydia had to have her tiny footprint placed next to ours. She has been marked as our own. We gave our gifts to the official, the orphanage directors, and the notary (chocolate bars with an American flag on the wrapper and a pack of handmade stationery with American quotes about the family, etc. on them). Then, the directors said their goodbyes to Lydia. They were not emotional though they smiled and seemed pleased that we were so happy with the baby. We thanked them for taking such good care of her. I really do believe they care for their children well and enjoy seeing them adopted. We had brought pictures of another child from their orphanage who had been adopted back in 2006. The mother sent it to me before we left to give to them. They smiled and seemed pleased to have the updated pictures and know she is doing so well. And, they even brought their own camera and took a family picture of the three of us.

We applied for Lydia’s passport after that then went to a big store (the Chinese name translated means “everyone’s happy”) to pick up another toy for her and a couple other little things. Then, we were on our own. We were so proud of ourselves finding a place for lunch where those smiley pictures were taken on a little playground inside there (Angie, you’ll have to go to this place and let Emma play). And, after a nap, we even took a long walk and found a famous local dumpling place for dinner—quite the adventure as the English name of the restaurant was not on the sign outside and the menu had no English on it. But, we had a good meal and walk until Lydia then got sick. 
I guess then we’re all caught up. She’s no longer snuggled on my lap but asleep in her crib. Hopefully, she’ll feel well enough after a little nap for us to venture outside and maybe walk on the city wall which looks sort of like a castle wall and is 600 years old. I also spotted a cute children’s boutique last night that I’d like to head back to at some point. I love kids’ clothes. 
(Deep breath) So, all is well for now. She’s getting more used to us though she still cries a bit when she first wakes up and sees us and realizes we aren’t who she normally sees when she first wakes up. She definitely prefers Mark to me and quiets quite easily for him. In time, I’m sure she will soften to us and become quite secure in knowing we are never leaving her. 
Dear Evan, Ashlyn, and Drew – sounds like you guys are having a ball at the beach! Nanma told us that Evan got a hole in one at mini golf and won a free game! We were so happy to hear that that both of us cried! Ashlyn, we can’t help but think of you often as we admire Lydia wearing the sweatshirt that you used to wear when you were a baby. And, Drew, you are going to love Lydia. She sucks two fingers all the time and loves her blankie. We are going to try to find out how to see “blankie” in Chinese.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption journey

Update on Lydia

3.29.10

An eventful day today as we finalized our adoption of Lydia here in the province. I’ll have to blog more about that later. 

We were so happy today to see Lydia open up some more to us and give us some beautiful smiles. But, we are a bit worried now and need prayers. She vomited tonight and started burning up. We took her temp and it was 103.7. We gave her tylenol and started her on antibiotics. Her fever seems to be coming down–we just took it again and it was 102.6. Please pray that she is relatively well by morning. We called our adoption doctor at CHOP who said if she is still running a temperature tomorrow, she will need to be seen by a doctor. We do not want that to have to happen as we saw the local hospital today as we were going shopping, and it is not a place I want to go.

Dear Drew – Happy 4th birthday, big brother. We love you and can’t wait to see you in your new stormtrooper helmet and watch you play your new Indiana Jones Wii game. Big birthday hugs and kisses to you!

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption journey

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