adoption journey Archives - Page 2 of 9

Our Adoption Journey: Part 2

6.21.11

It’s taken me over 3 months to write Part 2 after Part 1. That’s because it wasn’t the easiest thing to write.

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10 years after Part 1. Somehow, I manage to snag the sweetest, most faithful bachelor on this side of the Mississippi (and maybe beyond that). Don’t know how that happened, but I’m so thankful that it did. Considering the years before I met him, I really should have ended up with a real loser.

We married in September 1998 and bought our first pad the following spring, a cute little townhouse we were so excited to call our own.

Those first couple years were fun years. I was working part-time while getting my Masters’ degree in Biblical Counseling. We had a great small group and were active in ministry together. We were learning to live together and how to “be married.” And, I started dreaming about starting a family.

Mark wasn’t the dreamer that I was about talking about babies. For some reason, he wasn’t oogling over ladies walking by with babies in strollers like I was or thinking about what names would just sound perfect together. He wanted to wait a while.

I still remember very clearly the moment I found my dreams threatened. Mark had a doctor’s appointment, and I was with him. The doctor read over his chart and noticed a childhood surgery Mark had had that he casually noted on the information page he had just completed. The doctor said, “Do you plan on having children?” Mark and I sorta nervously laughed as I’m sure Mark blushed and as I was thinking, “Why is he asking us that? Is it that obvious that I’m dreaming of pink and blue and Mark is not?” He went on to say, “You are likely infertile. You will probably have to use a specialist if you want to have children of your own.”

What? Shock, anger, fear set in. And, we wasted no time with getting more tests done. I had to know.

“It will be nearly impossible for you to conceive.” Those were the words I heard over the phone. And, I hung up and fell to the ground in tears.

“Let’s adopt,” Mark said. “Maybe this is God’s way of telling you to adopt,” my mom told me, “You always had a heart for adoption.”

No. I don’t want to adopt. I want to be pregnant. I don’t want to have some profile that some pregnant girl skims through to decide if we’re good enough. I don’t want to wait forever for a baby. I know someone who waited 10 years to be chosen. And, I want a baby, a little, folded up bundle of a baby. And, we count every penny. Adoption costs thousands of dollars. We don’t have that kind of money. I don’t want to. I don’t want to adopt.

Click on these buttons below once a day–
it will bring new viewers and more attention to what we’re doing for adoptive families…
and, I admit, it validates me.

Our Adoption Journey: Part 1

3.1.11

There it is.

My 11-year-old New Year’s Resolutions. Right between “get 8 and one half hours of sleep” and “become famous,” is “family adobt a baby.”

I don’t remember what originally started my interest in adoption. But, my mom says I was always interested in it. A year or two after I wrote these resolutions, I was just figuring out the internet on a very slow computer in our unfinished basement that I thought was the bomb. I would sit at this big old metal desk and look at the pictures of children available for adoption for hours. I asked my parents if they’d adopt one of these children. I think they thought I was a little crazy. Maybe I was. I didn’t have a clue about the process and the needs of these children. I just knew they needed a home and that we were a pretty good one. The Lord had warmed my heart to the needs of children even before I could easily see their faces. He was already preparing me.

I had forgotten all about this list until we were cleaning out my parents’ home during the summer of 2008 and found it in an old briefcase with a bunch of random papers of mine. And, as Type A as I am, I can tell you that out of the 20 goals on this list, only few were reached. I don’t even remember who Matt was (#2). I don’t think having a blog counts as becoming famous (goal #8). I think I did reach being the second most popular girl (#9) that year until Mary Beth (that would be contestant #1) ousted me for some reason. And, although I quickly reached having 40 pairs of earrings (#15), I never made it to Germany (#16) and I’m sure I quickly bailed on writing in my diary everyday (#13).

But, 22 years later, we “adobted” a baby.

Change

4.13.10

Change in seasons while we were away. In only 16 days, our yard and our neighborhood was transformed. Everything is green and blooming. So nice to come home from China where the bulk of our trip was in dusty, hazy, grey weather to see this. Spring is definitely here.

Change from a serious, stoic baby to a smiling, active one.
Change from a mom who could just let her kids freely play to one that has to babyproof things and remember that little hands are into things. I’ve been out of the baby stage for a while now. This change, even though I have so wanted it for years, is going to take some getting used to.

Change for the previous baby of the house. For 4 years, he’s been the baby, and he’s enjoyed that role. Lydia has turned all of our world’s upside down, but Drew may be having the hardest time adjusting. He’s been clingy to Mark and me and using a lot of baby talk. On Sunday, I suggested that he wear his Chinese vest to visit the older kids’ schools at the end of the week as they do a presentation about China. He loved wearing this vest for Chinese New Year, begged me to wear it in fact. But, at my suggestion Sunday, he informed us that he didn’t like the vest and then said, “I don’t like Chinese people.” We just let him be and didn’t make a big deal about it. I guess it’s just his stress coming out because he’s certainly not showing it towards Lydia. He is all over her, loving her. Monday morning, he woke up early to play with her and told me, “I just want to kiss Lydia all day long,” and he basically did (see picture below for proof of one of the hundreds of kisses he’s planted on this girlie).

Change in family makeup. Lydia may have had 30+ babies sleeping in the same room with her at the orphanage. But, she did not know what it was like to have 2 brothers and a sister. Not only has she had to get used to Mark and me, now she’s getting used to Evan, Ashlyn, and Drew. She seems to really like their attention though and is always reaching for their fingers to help her toddle around. They really are wonderful with her.

Change in daily life. It hit me today, my first day with the kids back to school and Mark back to work, that daily life is going to be full of a lot of phone calls, appointments, evaluations, lab work, etc. for a while. Perhaps it was the fact that I was scooping poop into vials today that made that abundantly clear. Now, that’s love. I personally enjoyed the instructions that came with the poop collection kit. Can you read what it says in the picture? Do people actually try to poop into this little vial? There is always fine print for a reason, right? Gross.

Change in sleep. No pictures for this one since my dark circles under my eyes are unsightly. Lydia has adapted well to the time change. Friday night, she slept from about 2am-5am, not good. Saturday night, she slept from 9pm-12am (insert our good friend Benadryl here. I didn’t want to use it, honestly. But, when she woke up at midnight…I just couldn’t do it) and then 12am-6am. Sunday night, 10pm-7am. Monday night, 8pm-5:30am. Not bad. Mark and I, on the other hand, are still a wreck. We thought we were doing pretty good. Then, last night, we crashed by 8:30 and were both wide awake at 2:30am. Though I’m happy that we’re all caught up on the LOST episodes we missed while in China, I would have really liked a little more sleep. And, I’m not looking forward to the way I’m going to feel come dinner time.

Lots and lots of change for everyone. It’s all quite an adventure, that’s for sure. I’m working on a post of travel hints, packing suggestions, etc. I feel like I’ve gotta get all my ideas out in words or I’ll just forget it all since I’m nearly forgetting my name lately. So, those of you who are preparing to travel, watch for the post. Hopefully, it will help one of you at least…or maybe it will just enlighten those of you who don’t know me about how anal retentive I can be.

Home Sweet Home

4.11.10

Our first family picture as a family of 6

We made it! It was a brutal day(s) of travel–left the White Swan at 7:30AM and arrived at home at about 11:00PM…about 28 hours of travel door to door. Lydia was great on the first flight from Guangzhou to Beijing. And, she really did quite well on the flight from Beijing to Newark. Having the bulkhead seat with the bassinet was a HUGE blessing (as well as the fact that Mark got the seat with me). Anyone who is traveling with a child under 2 NEEDS to get those seats. Lydia slept on and off as did we. But, she cried very little. But, when we were only 15 minutes from landing (after I had changed her into a cute coming home outfit, mind you), she got airsick and threw up multiple times all over herself and us and our diaper bag. Nice. So, she was not too happy and neither were we (or the surrounding passengers). As soon as we got off, we called my mom to tell her we had landed (there was a whole entourage waiting for us). She then informed us that Ashlyn was sick and had thrown up twice at the airport. Nice. Welcome home to us, huh? She was a real trooper though and still was very happy to see us and Lydia and sat nicely while we grabbed a quick bite of dinner with the whole fam. It was great to be reunited with the kiddos–brought tears to both of our eyes. They are just in love with Lydia. Evan said last night, “If I were doing this, I’d pick her too.” Drew said, “I wouldn’t. I’d want a boy.” He’s a kick. He loves his baby sister though. She wasn’t ready to go to bed until after 2AM and then was awake again by 5AM (this was her “afternoon nap”….ugh). Even though the other three went to bed super late, they were up between 6:30 and 7 ready to give her tours of the house and show her every toy she could play with. Poor thing is probably way over stimulated. She did really well today though and was asleep tonight by 8PM. If she sleeps through the night, I may sing the Hallelujah chorus tomorrow morning.

Poor pitiful Ashlyn waiting for us to arrive.

While everyone else wandered around to keep busy during the long wait, Evan didn’t leave his spot, anxiously waiting to see us for the first time in 16 days with Lydia in our arms.

Their first view of us (above). While Ashlyn and Drew ran to meet us, Evan just started hollering and doing a jig. Bohdan caught the excitement and joined in.