Beth, Jasper’s host mom, has shared here a few times over the last month. Tonight, I give her this space once again because these words and her heart behind them should be shared.
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Yesterday, while at the farewell picnic, he came to me with a confused look. Was he upset about seeing the director from his orphanage for the first time since arrival? was he hurt? was he missing us? No, one of his beloved Lightening McQueen sandals that we had bought for him the day he arrived had broken. I made a fuss over the broken shoe and promised him that we would get him a new pair before he left. He shook his head gently and put his shoe back on with the strap loosely draped, exposing his skinny little feet. He hopped off of my lap and ran back to the other kids, not caring that as he ran, his shoe flopped around.
This morning, he came into my bedroom, as he always does. It is his last day. He was wearing his pajamas…and the broken sandals. I showed him that they were broken again. He shook his head again and grabbed my hand to get out of bed. At breakfast, I noticed just how worn and tired his broken sandals were, after only 4 weeks. As I cooked scrambled eggs for what seemed like the millionth time this month, I reflected on all that those sandals have done, experienced, been through on the feet of this little boy. Of course they look that way. They have been dragged as he learned to ride a bike. They have been drenched when he jumped through the sprinkler. They have been washed in the ocean as they sat in the hot sand all day. They have been covered in melting chocolate ice cream (many times). They have been on scooters and 4 wheelers, ladders and slides. They have been to stores, farms, playgrounds, and on trampolines. And, now, one was broken. I took him this morning to get a new pair. Again, he wasn’t impressed and didn’t show the urgency that I was feeling to get him a fresh new pair. He picked out the new sandals and put them on. We paid for them and left to come home. I put his old shoes on the floor and just stared at them.
What a journey this has been. I feel a bit like those shoes. Very worn, very tired, and very broken. But, just like Jasper, I don’t really want a new pair of shoes. I am content with the exhaustion, the wear, the brokenness of the knowledge that he is going back tomorrow. It is in all of this that I see the memories we have made with him, but more importantly, the lessons of grace, beauty, and love that have come with his time here. I don’t think I would want a new, fancy, fresh pair of shoes. I like the tired, worn, broken pair. It is in this place that I feel closest to God and see Him the most clearly. It has been an amazing journey, and even though we are broken at the thought of him leaving, we still want to wear those old shoes. But, I think I will do like he did now and embrace what we have and who we are, even in a broken state, and go run in His goodness and grace.
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After being here for a month, tomorrow “Brett” and “Jasper” return to their orphanage in China. Thankfully, we know “Brett” will be coming back to the family who has said yes to making him their child. If you want to learn more about “Jasper” or any of the other children hosted who do not yet have a family committed to bringing them home OR about hosting yourself, email me and/or Sara, the social worker at Madison who manages the hosting program in our area.
