So, how many sit-ups do you think equals 1/4 cup of tummy fat?

Tomorrow, I’m having 1/4 cup of fat liposuctioned from my belly and put into my vocal cords. Very odd. My vocal cords don’t meet in the middle as they should. I have partial vocal cord paralysis, one doesn’t move at the same rate of the other. This causes a lot of strain on a voice. I used to lose my voice a lot but never knew why. When we went to Disney World a few years back, yelling and speaking over background noise did me in. I lost my voice and it didn’t come back…for months, about 6 months actually. Because of the partial paralysis and a lot of strain, I developed blisters on my vocal cords that had to be surgically removed to get my voice back. Then, a second surgery involved putting a gortex implant in on the side of my vocal cord to push it over so that they would meet better and I wouldn’t strain my voice to speak. But, I reacted to the nonreactive gortex implant (figures) and after a few months of increased discomfort and sounding horrible, they did a 3rd surgery to remove it. So, tomorrow is the surgery to do something else. I’m not thrilled about going back in (obviously). It’s not fun. I hate general anesthesia (though at least I get to be asleep for the surgery. I had to be awake for the one when they put the implant in). And, I don’t know what to expect recovery to be like.

But, the fact that I get some lipo is a bit of a redeeming factor to this whole thing. How discouraged I was when I googled lipo tonight and learned that a normal lipo of the belly involves WAY more than 1/4 cup. 1/4 cup isn’t much at all really–4 tablespoons to be exact. I asked the doctor at my last appointment if they could just suck out a little more as a favor for me. She laughed. I am taking that as a no. Darn it.

My surgery is at 8:15 tomorrow morning. Pray for me…and for Mark as he plays Mr. Mom and Mr. Dad and Mr. Everything for the rest of the week. Poor guy, a man who likes quiet, now has to speak for both of us once again. My lips are sealed until the weekend starting at 8:15am.

I did it.

I broke down and bought a pair of skinny jeans.

Yes, I know they have been popular for several years now. Yes, I know I have always said they are 80s looking and not flattering and for teenagers or other young girls who have not had babies.

But, today, I bought a pair.

See, I went out with a friend to a coffee shop this afternoon. Afterwards, I decided to run into Ann Taylor Loft. All I wanted to get was a pair of lounge pants (glorified sweat pants) to live in this week as I recover from my surgery. They are cute. They have cute zipper pockets. They are comfy but don’t make me feel frumpy. That’s all I wanted.

But, it’s Columbus Day weekend. And, there was a sale. A big sale. 40% off all the sale stuff. And, there was some good sale stuff. And, I was alone. Alone. Without kids. With a husband at home with my kids who were all playing happily.

And, I saw one pair of skinny jeans. And, they happened to be my size. Why not try them on and just see? I mean, everyone seems to like them.

So, I did. And, I spent way too long in the dressing room with the skinny jeans and then a bunch of tops. Had to see what they looked like with different things, right?

And, I liked them.

Yes, I got some curves (that’s the flattering way of saying it). But, they are fun. And, I like them with the long tops…which were also on sale. And, they were a good deal. They were $60 marked down to $30 and then 40% off.

60 minutes later, I took the jeans, the lounge pants, and some other bargains I couldn’t resist (like a couple long tops) up to the register. I was in the process of explaining to the cashier that I was finally breaking down and buying a pair of skinny jeans. And, then, they only rang up for $11.99.

$11.99, people.

So, now, I’m the curvy owner of a new pair of cheap skinny jeans. I may be proud of my purchase, but I’m not proud enough to post a picture of them on the blog. Maybe next week though. I am getting a little lipo this week after all.

Girlymama would be proud of me…unless these are already out of style. Are they? Please tell me no.