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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Taking heart.

5.17.18

It wasn’t easy getting out of bed yesterday. I’m one of those borderline obnoxious morning people. I actually enjoy being up with one cup of coffee down before the sun rises. But, yesterday was hard. I was off my game. We’ve had a string of late nights following busy days. Laying in bed hearing my alarm ring for the third and fourth time, I spent more energy than I care to admit justifying why more time in bed was a better choice than heading to the coffee maker and my green chair to spend time with God. I did make it there eventually…later than normal but there…but I felt distracted and somehow busy though I had been out of bed for only minutes.

I’ve been doing what I call word studies in my mornings in my green chair. They started in August when I became acutely aware of some big feelings that need truth spoken into them. So, I listed out every occurrence of the phrase “I am with you” in the Bible and slowly went through every one. When I reached the end of my list, I went all the way back to the beginning now studying every passage with the phrase “He is with you” or “God is with you.” It took months of daily study, sometimes in passages I never would have found otherwise. When I was done, I moved to the phrase “set your mind.” Then, I studied the words “steady” and “firm.” Now, I’m looking at the phrase “take heart,” a study that led me this morning to John 16:33, a verse I’ve heard over and over again.

As I read the words yesterday morning, I had to tell myself to sip my coffee slowly rather than gulp it down, not unlike the way I was approaching God’s word really. I read the verse then I read the verse in context. I read the passage in various versions of Scripture. I waited a whole 5 seconds for some divine revelation of rich application, deep meaning, something relevant to me today. After all, I needed it and 5 seconds is plenty of time for all that, right?

It was the last full day before we were leaving for China again. My brain was busy with so many things as I read John 16 yesterday.

Here on earth you will have many trials and many sorrows. But, take heart, because I have overcome the world.

That’s it? What does that matter? Sitting there thinking of the myriad of challenges I am facing to prepare and execute this trip and everything else, I wanted something more.

You will have many trials and challenges. But, take heart, it won’t last forever and something good is coming…take heart, there’s more to the story than all this…take heart, you are not alone.

No. Jesus said, take heart because He has overcome the world. It must matter or He wouldn’t have said it. But, take heart, because…because…The fact that He has overcome is what allows us to take heart, to have courage, to persevere, to keep going deeper when we may feel like hitting the proverbial snooze button 10 more times. Why? His overcoming means that there isn’t a single thing in this world that has power over Him or even exists outside of His power. His overcoming covers it all.

In this broken world you will continue to face challenges, some small and some really big. But, you can take heart, because there is nothing in this world that has power greater than mine. Even your hardest hards aren’t stronger than my strong.

I’m glad I made it to the green chair and didn’t get up out of it having rehearsed a familiar verse and ticked the box without hearing Him tell me not just TO take heart but WHY I can.

Let’s do this.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: posts I can't really tag

A picture’s worth a thousand praises

5.5.18

I love a good photo. Sharpness of color. An interesting perspective. A perfectly precise moment capture.

This photo is not a work of art. There’s nothing particularly remarkable about it at first. It was taken by an adoptive family making a short visit to their child’s orphanage, an orphanage where we have been, where we have hosted programs for kids and for caregivers. It was a relatively normal day there when the family visited. The children aren’t dressed up for a special performance. The caregivers too are in everyday clothes with no lipstick, no fanfare. But, everything about this picture makes me want to clap and jump up and down.

Each time we have been there, we have left our supplies. We leave them all with lots of permission: Please, use these. Don’t put them away because they are too nice. Go ahead. Use them up. Wear them out. We can bring more next time. They hear us. They smile. But, typically, they shake their heads. These are so nice. We will keep them here safely. We don’t want to ruin them. 

The picture I saw shared online, a picture of many they took that day, months after our visit, shows that at some point, someone decided to use the supplies. The colored bottles set up in in a triangle to the left of the teacher are sensory bottles we made with the children when we were there, made from recycled water bottles, filled with glitter and a glue and water concoction so they slowly sparkle and spin when turned. That colorful cube that the teacher is holding is part of a game we played as a large group. It has a deck of cards that goes with it with pictures and words, cards that aren’t in the picture from what I can tell which makes me even happier because that means she is using that colorful cube in some sort of new way, not the way we used it, engaging the little girl across the circle from her. If we could see her face, I bet that if she wasn’t smiling at this moment, she would be just moments later. With a little one on her lap close by, another Ayi is looking on, smiling herself and wearing one of the aprons my mom and other seamstresses made that we gave as gifts to the caregivers.

A simple interaction captured by a family in a simple image, simply to remember their visit to the orphanage. And, it provokes in me a thousand praises.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

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