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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Here am I

10.19.13

It’s been 6 weeks they’ve been there, away from home in a faraway land. Some of them were there last year, some even there the year before that. But, of the 14 teachers there, 4 are new on the scene.

china market

The first few weeks may have been a little shocking. Afterall, things are very different there on the other side of the world, so so different. You don’t realize how much language you actually take in on any given day until all the language around you is incomprehensible. Our local organic farmers market on Saturday morning is trendy; their farmers markets on crowded streets are daily life. Our running out to grab a bite to eat is efficient; their meals out are centered around community and connection, reaching across each other, sharing dishes, sitting for hours as more and more dishes are brought out. Our healthy lifestyle means working out at the gym, cutting out fast food, and sanitizing everything; their healthy lifestyle is staying warm, having a full stomach, and drinking hot water while trash covers streets like confetti and dust collects on any thing that is still for 10 seconds. Our convenient is drive-thru windows and orderly school drop off traffic circles; their convenient is a 40-minute bus trip with only one transfer.

china da tent

china store

As one of only a few Westerners on a campus of up to 20,000, they sort of stand out. The honeymoon phase lasts a while and right about now reality sinks in. This is life, for a while at least. And, even with all the Modern Family episodes on discs and pumpkin scented candles brought as gifts, they cannot forget that they are pretty much the furthest away from home they could possibly be on this earth. But, they are there, fully there physically and otherwise, committed to the work they are doing, and following the One who called them there.

We traveled a lot early on, visiting each other on different campuses. But, when I got back here, I felt confirmation. I knew this was where I was supposed to be.

I feel the same way as that new teacher. I’m not there like they are there, but I could have said nearly the same thing. Life is different now, in many ways we haven’t even yet identified. But, we’re fully in it, committed to the call and following the caller. Just like K told me over a 4 oz. porcelain cup of hot water, we know this is just where we are supposed to be.

My China adventure isn’t over with my plane landing back on American soil; it’s just taking off.

china Collage

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, posts I can't really tag

A letter to my daughter from China

10.19.13

kids in china1My dear daughter,

When I came out of the airport concourse and saw the sea of dark heads and Chinese faces calling out for the person they were waiting for, it all came flooding back to me. I remember turning to look at your Daddy with wide eyes and the frantically searching for an unfamiliar someone with a sign who was waiting for us. This time, it was a friend who yelled my name and ran to meet me. Last time I was in China, I came for my daughter—you. This time, I came for a different purpose as we start a new season of our lives.

As I walked around Beijing today, I was surrounded by people taking pictures of the landmarks—the old city wall, Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City. They are breathtaking. But, I found myself taking pictures of something else entirely—families. In a city full of one of the richest histories in the world, I am looking at a mother walking along the sidewalk with her son, letting him dictate the speed of their stroll based on his curiosity alone. I am studying the father comforting his crying baby, seemingly unaware of the fanfare going on around him. I am zooming in on the mother and father laughing as their little one begs to play with his phone.

kids in china4

I think of you constantly here. In every child’s face, I think of yours. And, like a bride-to-be longs for people to see the ring on her finger and know she will soon be walking down the aisle, I find myself longing to show the people around me some sort of sign that I have a daughter who is Chinese too. When the mother smiles back at me, I want her to know. In place of a ring, I wear the charm around my neck with your name.

“Ah, Mei yue? That is your name?”

“No, it’s my daughter’s name. I have a daughter from Baoji.”

“Baoji? Shaanxi? Ah….”

kids in china2It doesn’t change a thing—I’m still an American; they are still Chinese. The differences between us are obvious, enough to often cause them to stop and stare. But, they see my eyes light up when I speak of you and can begin to understand why I’m here. You are a bridge between us, my dear daughter who is both fully Chinese and fully American. Because of you, my sweet one, a living, breathing, walking expression of love, the people can start to understand why I’m here, why I love this place, why I feel as if it is an extension of our home on the other side of the world.

Last time I was in China, I came for a daughter. This time, I came with a daughter.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, China, Letters

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