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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Once upon a time until forever – Part 2

5.19.14

There’s a new picture hanging in my kitchen today, a new masterpiece to our mixed media gallery, hanging between Olaf magnets and a flyer from school.

Yesterday was her last Chinese class of the year. Little dark-haired people skitted around the room while soft-spoken Lao Shi tried to shepherd their bodies with seemingly swelling energy. Typically, one of us sits in her class and typically tries to read despite the reason why we’re there. But, with the senioritis that suspiciously attacked even these preschoolers, I was needed.

Lao Shi had brought photocopies for the children to complete and staple together as memory books of the year. Way over the heads of children who can barely write their own names, most of them were scribbling and distracted and alternating between singing Liang Zhi Lao Hu and Let it Go. Lydia clutched a red pen in her little fingers, firmly held it motionless over the ABOUT ME page before her and swung her feet with gusto below her. As the teacher tried to help other kids, I pulled up to her desk to help her, filling in the blanks with the words she supplied to me.

My age: 5.

Where I was born: China.

My parents: Mommy and Daddy.

Brothers & Sisters: Ashlyn, Drew and Evan.

Pets: Mojo and Bebo.

My picture: 

Okay, Lydia. Go ahead. You draw a picture of yourself there.

Pressing hard on the page, she drew her typical person—a round circle for a head, an oval torso, stick arms and legs, eyes and a smile, and some hair around the head. But, then she started intensely working on that torso. I thought she was intent on giving herself a dress that matched the one she was wearing. I watched until she put the pen down with contentment.

That’s a big belly and inside that is a baby that was beautiful called Yue Yue that became Lydia.

It was not a dress she was intensely drawing, it was herself in the womb of her first mother. I smiled and waited for her and for the lump in my throat to dissipate a little. While I waited, she picked up the pen again and went back to her drawing, this time drawing a little body on the chest of the stick figure that was her China mommy.

A doctor helped me to come out of her belly because that’s what doctors do.

Is that your China mommy holding you?

Yup….I don’t know her name.

I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know her name either. I wish we did….

No one stopped to listen. No one there sat with me and marveled at all this little 5 year old girl is processing when she is told to complete a picture appropriate for the title ABOUT ME. This little moment just blended into the energy of the room and class went on without a notice of another step in the journey of a little girl and the woman who is her second mother.

Lydia on swing

 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, attachment, Lydia

Living in Two Time Zones

5.18.14

world-map

It’s 7. 7pm and 7am.

I’ve been essentially in one place for the last 10 days, following all our predictable patterns of school drop offs, softball games, grocery store visits, and walks to the playground. I haven’t been outside a 30 mile radius of ground zero—home. Yet, here I am, living in two time zones.

A 12 hour time difference makes things convenient. There’s no need to count on your hand. And, there’s something strangely comforting knowing my watch face has the same expression as his on the other side of the world. But, a 12 hour time difference is so inconvenient. His alarm rings to start his day when our oven timer dings telling us dinner is done. When he’s breathing deeply and shutting down after a long day of being on, I’m breathing deeply midmorning and telling myself to keep going. This morning and this evening are used synonymously around here to the confusion of most everyone besides ourselves.

We’ve made 5 trips to Asia in the last 7 months since our big leap leaving corporate America to do nonprofit work full-time. Each one of those trips sent only one of us on a plane…or two or three…while the other stayed put to keep those predictable patterns. We live in two time zones now, Mark and I.

He’ll be home on Thursday which is a good thing. But, I’m not counting down the days because I know that every one of the minutes filling the 2 weeks he’s gone whether whether it is in morning or evening is being used in significant ways. It’s inconvenient, yes, and I’ve had a moment or two of putting my head in my hands wondering if I’d make it to the next morning…or evening. But, this is what it’s about. This is where He wants us. It’s crazy yet the one of few things in our lives that makes perfect sense. He called us to live in two time zones, and so we are, no matter where we physically are.

I’ll be starting the bedtime routine around here in minutes. I’m fairly certain Mark will text right in the middle of the chaos to touch base before he meets the rest of his team to start the day. It’ll be maddeningly inconvenient. But, I’ll press pause on everything and let the kids run wild while I hang on his every word on the little screen in my hand until 12 hours from now when we do it again.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: posts I can't really tag

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