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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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We’re all nesting

3.4.15

There’s a crib in my house. It’s been set up for about a week now, and I still can’t quite get past it. There’s actually a crib in the room across the hall from my room. And, to make it even more mind boggling, soon there’s going to be an itty bitty little person laying in it.

Helen’s official due date is 2 weeks from today—March 18th. I told Helen she was nesting as I watched her attempt to organize her room and fold little pink things she’s received as gifts. She kept going and then finally asked me what I was saying after maybe the third time I said it. Apparently, she thought I told her she was nasty. Don’t worry; I assured her she was not and that she’s absolutely adorable with her big round belly and the way she slowly goes up the stairs, catching her breath with nearly every step.

I made a what-to-do-when-it’s-time list with all the important information (of course, I did)…and I laminated it, you know, just in case I freak out when she tells me her water broke and proceed to spit out the coffee in my mouth right onto the doctor’s phone number (of course, I laminated it). The list is hanging in our kitchen prominently, a reminder all day long that our worlds are about to change, in case her belly isn’t enough.

labor list

That baby has to stay put until next week though. I committed to going to a conference for adoptive moms in Atlanta this weekend before we even knew about this baby. I have offered to forego it and stay home staring at my list and Helen’s tummy. But, Helen has told me to go ahead. She has no real signs of impending labor at this point, and she knows I really want to go to this. So, I’m going to go, despite another snow storm coming tomorrow (#sodonewithwinter). But, I’ve got a quick(ish) getaway plan in place in case of emergency (i.e., “the call” from my husband saying “we need you NOW”). And, I’m putting Helen on bedrest from tomorrow until Sunday for good measure.

Our prayer this week—no baby. Next week? Okay, Jesus, we’re ready to go. Let’s meet this sweet thing who has turned our worlds upside down for the last 6 months. 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: daily life, Helen

What color is adoption?

2.27.15

what color is the dressWe were eating muffins at a cafe this morning when a guy approached us, held out his phone, and asked us what colors we saw.

“Um…gold and white?”

He replied, “No way! No! It’s black and blue!” He walked away laughing; we sat there stumped.

We thought he was just a weirdo until Evan came home from school and showed me the same picture and asked the same question.

Apparently, this silly picture has nearly broken the Internet since yesterday. In 6 hours alone, this picture of a dress got over 16 million hits all from people arguing over what colors it is. Our own family has been duking it out this afternoon.

Experience is reality. When we see gold and white, it’s gold and white; anything else couldn’t possibly be. It doesn’t matter that the person next to us swears it’s black and blue. We just tell her she’s wrong and roll our eyes when she tries to tell us the same thing.

So, what color is adoption?

The black and blue abounds. Hearts spill out via words on screens about the emotional cost, the trauma, the brokenness, the loss, the hurt, the hard starts that beget more hard. I’ve read them; I’ve wrote them. And, I confess that when I have been focused on the black and blue, it’s pretty hard to see any other colors. There may have been glimpses of gold and white; a change in color for just a moment that caught my eye. But, moments later, I talked myself out of it. No, I was wrong. It’s really black and blue. I must have been seeing things.

8 years into our adoption journey. 5 years into parenting a child who joined our family through adoption. 4 years into ministering to other families built via adoption. I know the black and blue; the black and blue is real and on some days seems like it can be tangibly felt. But, I know the gold and white better. And, I’ve seen how the gold and white is fully able to overcome the black and blue.

Adoption is family. It’s redemption in loss. Adoption is hope despite the unknown. Adoption is connection and relationship. It is courage and resilience. It’s beauty so intense it can be tangibly felt and breathed in. It’s power to overcome. Adoption is delighting in each other. It’s being intentional to focus on the gold and white even in the midst of black and blue.

It’s amazing. life changing. an opportunity for healing. a blessing.

It’s everyday. It’s life.

It’s good. 

What color is adoption?

It’s gold and black, white and blue, and every shade in between. Don’t even try to convince me of anything different.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption

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