Dear Linxi, sweet Baby Grace,
You are 4 weeks old today, and you’re already world famous. People from all over the world have been following your story and excited about you. People on both sides of the world were thrilled to welcome you on March 23 on the day you were born. And, I think I was the most excited of all aside from your mommy, your daddy, and your big brother.

You were desired and loved before you even came to be. Your mommy and daddy knew that having you would be very hard because of the rules in China. But, they wanted you so much and believed with all their hearts that God would protect and provide for you. And, He did, but not in the way they may have expected at first. He brought your mommy and brother here to us, all the way across the world, so that as you grew inside your mommy, you would be safe and secure. Our home became their home, and we lived our days together, our excitement for you growing as March grew closer, knowing that we’d meet you soon. We talked about you all the time and imagined what you’d be like. We couldn’t wait for you to come and to meet you. You turned all of our lives upside down before you even entered the world!

I held your mommy’s hand as she labored to bring you into the world. I watched your daddy anxiously try his best to comfort her. I was there when you took your first breath, watching it all happen as it seemed like time stood still. You are a miracle, sweet child. And, as happy as I was to finally meet you, I felt a little sad too because I knew my time with you would be short. Most of the time I had with you was while you were still growing inside your mommy. Now that you were here, all the talking, anticipating, and imagining was over and our time would be spent preparing for you to leave and go home.

I’ve heard there’s a Chinese saying that goes something like this–fallen leaves return to their roots. It’s time for you to return to your roots and go home to China where God has called your family to be. I trust that the God who moved mountains to bring you into this world will keep you safe and guide you with His hand so that you will grow into the young woman He wants you to be. And, I can’t wait to watch that happen from afar. He is going to use you to change the world. But, as you return to your roots, I want you to know that your roots are deeper than China alone. You will not remember our time together and how two families became one to bring you into the world safely, but your roots are here too in a way that is far more significant than that passport that says you are a citizen of this place. You belong here too. I may have given you your Western name, but I have no claim to you; you are not our own. Yet, we will always see you as part of our family, an extension of ourselves. And, because of that, we will always feel the heartache of missing you when we are apart. We will look back on our days spent with you and this season of our lives with joy knowing that God used us to change the world by helping to bring you into it.

Aunt Kelly

All my life, I’ve envied people who are hospitable. I have watched my mom host big family meals and thought, “I wish I could do that, but I’m not good at it.” I saw my sister’s perfectly decorated house and thought, “She’s so good at welcoming people in her home, but I’m not good at that.”

When we first talked to Frank about having you come stay in America so that you and your new baby would be safe, I remember suggesting that you go between our house, my parents’ house, and the Cunninghams’ house. That made sense at the time. You would get to spend time with everyone involved in the work. I would get to know you and Caleb better—but for a limited time, because afterall, my home was not that big or that nice and I wasn’t really good at hosting and making meals and sharing my home.

Then, you and Caleb came. And, our home became your home, and the decision was made for you to stay here for the entire duration of your time in America. I wasn’t sure I could do it, not because of anything about you but because of my own weaknesses. I was afraid I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t generous enough, wasn’t kind enough. But, as time passed and as we pressed on, living life side by side, I discovered that I wasn’t worrying about things I had always worried about before. I found that giving time and energy and money for your benefit wasn’t so hard after all. In fact, I wanted to do it; I enjoyed doing it. And, those things that I thought disqualified me from serving you became what made me the most qualified to serve you. I didn’t have to be the best hostess with the nicest house; you were comfortable here. I didn’t have to be the best cook; you cooked beside me and our dinners for 9 were always just right. I may not have been good at sharing before, but God softened my heart to show me that nothing really belonged to me in the first place.

I still don’t have the gift of hospitality according to the way I used to define it and how most people do. But, over the last 6 months as you have lived with us, God grew in me a new gift of community and giving that I did not have before. While He grew your womb, He grew my heart. While He built the life inside you, He built new life inside of me too.

You are a woman after God’s own heart, a woman willing to endure big things and great cost in order to do what God has called her to do, all in order to live a cross-shaped life. I admire you, dear sister. I will always remember our time together as one family under one roof, struggling to serve Him and each other well. It wasn’t always easy, I know. But, I believe that God was glorified here, and I am forever grateful for everyday of it.

Be blessed as you go forward with the courage you have shown here, standing firm in the calling you have committed your life to. Continue to wear strength and dignity and may those be what makes you beautiful all your days.

You will always have a home here.

Kelly

It’s done. All the paperwork, all we stressed over and prayed about and worried wouldn’t be done in time. It’s done. The two last documents were picked up by Grace’s daddy himself in New York City today. He walked in the back door from Mark picking him up at the train station with his subtle Chinese smile of excitement. He may not have looked too excited to most people, but that little up-turned mouth was actually sort of like cartwheels. He carried that burden too these last 6 months, worried about how this would all play out, if the timing would work so that no one violated their visas, how to apply for exactly what was needed. And, now, at least on paper, they are ready to go home. I’m reminding myself that I’m supposed to be celebrating that tonight.

I’m not sure how we’ll all be come Tuesday because as the paper link chain has gotten smaller, our linked hearts have just gotten bigger. I find myself talking to people about how hard it’s going to be on all the kids to have them leave. And, it will be.

But, honestly, maybe it’s just easier to talk about how hard it will be on them than talk about how hard it’s going to be for me.