The first week of school happened. But, the first early mornings were made tolerable by the promise of one more taste of summer only a few days before us. We gulped it in this weekend, savoring every splash of salt water, every grain of sand in our toes, and every canon ball in the pool. Everyone’s head hung a bit last night as we unpacked the car and brushed teeth. Summer is over.

We’re all together in different seasons really. Evan is starting his last year of middle school. Ashlyn is starting her first. Drew is in 4th grade and without an older sibling in his school for the first time but is the older sibling in school for the first time as Lydia starts her first year going to school all day in a big three-story building with lots of stairs and lots more kids and teachers. There’s a lot of new. Mark and I have a lot of trips ahead, some across the world and some across the country. And, the time we have right here from our home base is full.

I love this picture Mark took of Drew looking out into the sea while going for an early morning walk this weekend. I don’t know what he was thinking as he stood there quietly, but I’ve been imagining.

These very waves were likely the highlight of Drew’s summer. He was out there in them for the first time this past July, bravely treading next to me when he needed to be with his head high and standing proud and tall between waves as they allowed. At one point, he looked at me with a big smile and said, “I never thought I’d do this in my whole life!”

Yeah, me too, Buddy. 

I’m no longer safely on the shore. It’s been a while since I was pleasantly putting my toes in to admire the view and try to get used to the water. I’m pretty much knee deep. And, while that could be kind of fun, that’s not really the best place to be. The water temperature now feels okay under the surface; my legs are used to it, but it’s shockingly cold when it splashes where I’m still dry. And, I’m going to get splashed because I’m in no way in a safe zone. I’m right where the waves are crashing. I feel the predictable pull outward and the push backward with every wave, forcing me to sink my feet into the sand in a vain attempt to make them anchors. There I stand, trying hard to keep my balance and often looking back, wondering if I should just return to shore and bury my feet in the dry sand.

But, I don’t want to.

I just need to go deeper. It’s kind of scary out there. I can see the white tips on the waves, and I know they’re way stronger than I am. That’s been proven already. But, the way I see it, I can’t stay where I am. I’ve gotta either go deep or go back. And, I want to go deep even if I have to close my eyes and simply make myself. I know that I’m going to look a lot like Drew when I get there. I’ll be treading water when I’m in over my head, working hard both in body and spirit. But, I also know that there will be times that I find myself standing securely in water only up to my waist when I can take a deep breath. Either way, I’m moving that direction, trusting that I will have a big smile when I’m there and I’m able to say with joy, “I never thought I’d do this in my whole life! And, I’m so glad I’m here!”

Happy end of summer. Bring on the deep waters.