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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Happy Thanksgiving

11.26.15

Screen Shot 2015-11-26 at 7.01.38 AMHow am I thankful for you?
When I walk to you, I hope to experience simply a spring breeze, yet you give me a full spring.

How am I thankful for you?
When I walk to you, I hope to feel simply the spray of the waves, yet you give me a vast sea.

How am I thankful for you?
When I walk to you, I hope to find one pretty red leaf, yet you give me a whole maple grove.

How am I thankful for you?
When I walk to you, I hope to kiss a snowflake, yet you give me a whole white, silver world.

–By Wang Guo Zhen, Chinese poet (translated by a friend…and edited a bit more to make sense in English by me)

Sent to me by that sweet Chinese friend with the following message:

Happy Thanksgiving Day! Thanks for being so nice to me. Thanks for our Good Book study.

So, so thankful today.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Traditions

Overthinking Christmas gifts {the story behind three gifts only}

11.24.15

Americans spend about $450 billion on Christmas each year. Astounding really. In fact, it’s kind of embarrassing for us this year as we prepare for an orphan to arrive and spend the holiday with us. It’s not the “cultural exchange” we’re most excited to share with him, for sure. Way back when, about 14 years ago, when we were expecting our first, we didn’t know anything about any $450 billion. But, we knew we didn’t want to get wrapped up in wrapped-up things and that we wanted to “do gifts” a bit differently.

We wanted gifts to really mean something. And, we wanted gift giving to be an opportunity for shepherding our children, not just an opportunity to give them good things they really want. And, so, we give them 3 gifts. That’s it. 3 gifts. From us. Not from Santa. From Mom and Dad. And, these three gifts symbolize those of the wise men. Each year, before we open gifts, we read the Christmas story, emphasizing the wise men who sought out Jesus, the incarnate God, sharing the significance of each individual gift before they open their three gifts.

only 3 gifts for ChristmasThe wise men brought Jesus myrrh. 
Myrrh was a valuable gift of practical use—it was used medicinally for all sorts of ailments from coughs to open wounds. It was a good gift to bring a mother of a new baby. It was something she could use to care for her baby well. And, it demonstrated the gift giver’s concern and hope that the baby would be healthy and have every one of his needs met. It was also used for something else though; it was used for embalming and anointing the dead. And, so, it was a prophetic gift, meaning that it showed people something that was to come in the future, already setting up the Gospel story from the beginning. God’s son would have to die.

Our children’s first gift is a practical gift, something they can use, that meets a need they have—a piece of clothing, some sheets for their bed, a bike helmet, something like that. Sometimes they get excited about this one; sometimes they aren’t as excited. But, we make sure they know that we are giving it to show them our love for them and our hope that they will be cared for well and that all their needs will be met.

The wise men brought Jesus frankincense.
Frankincense is the purest form of incense and was used in worship. When burned, its white smoke and sweet smell would symbolize prayers going up to heaven. It creates a meaningful experience for the one who uses it as well as everyone else around. Like the first gift, it’s also symbolic and prophetic. Jesus is little like Frankincense. He is fully God, Emmanuel, God with us, and the only way to heaven. Because of Him, we can have a relationship with God and talk to him in prayer directly.

Our children’s second gift, likewise, is an experiential gift, something not tangible but something meaningful to us as a family—tickets to some sort of show or a special movie (ahem…Star Wars perhaps), a night out at the ball park, something like that. One year, we gave our horse-loving toddler a “pony ride” which simply involved a trip to Aunt Charlotte’s house where she got to ride her horse in a circle. She loved it. This gift may or may not cost a whole lot, but the value of it is precious. Typically, I make up some sort of graphic on the computer that is like a gift certificate for whatever their specific experience gift is and give it to them in an envelope along with a business card, ticket, or brochure for the event if there is something like that. These are the gifts our children remember year to year and often cost us the least.

The wise men brought Jesus gold.
Gold was as valuable then as it is now. It was a precious and sacrificial gift on the part of the wise men who gave it. Some say this gold paid for the holy family’s trip to Egypt that they took right away to protect Jesus’ life. Just like the other gifts, it was also a very symbolic gift in that gold was a gift given to princes when they were born. And, that is what Jesus is—royalty, a King in the line of David, King of the world, King of the whole universe, and King of our hearts. When we become a follower of Jesus, we are adopted into God’s family and we too become princes and princesses, heirs to the throne. We don’t deserve it; no matter how good we are, we won’t ever be good enough to deserve it. But, because of Jesus, God sees us like He sees His own Son. He sees us as His children. And, we become more and more like Him.

Our children’s third and last gift is a gold gift, something they really really want (or we think they’d really want since they don’t make a traditional Christmas list). Sometimes these gifts are a little more costly—like a lego set or a sweet new scooter. And, sometimes, they really aren’t costly at all, but just something we know they really want, something that is like gold to them (two years ago, the boys’ gold gifts came from Craigslist and cost a grand total of $25 put together—secondhand pet box turtles). It’s the gift that we just want to give to them because we love them and want to bless them. And, we tell them so before we give them.

Of course, they have grandparents and aunts and uncles, all of whom dote on our children. And, we encourage them to choose small gifts for each other that they pay for with their own money (which is a teachable moment in and of itself). So, yes, they do actually get more than 3 gifts. Deprived they are not. Believe me.

We are doing what we can through our gift giving to set them up to better understand that Christmas is not simply about festive music on the radio, Rudolph, sparkly trees, cookies and milk, and boxes wrapped up with fancy bows. They sure do make Christmas fun; we don’t deny that. But, they aren’t what defines Christmas.

It’s about Jesus.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Traditions, words about faith

Santa isn’t the only one coming to town

11.12.15

paper link chain - 1

There’s a countdown paper chain in the corner of our kitchen. It started out as 20 links. Right now, it’s at 15 and getting one link shorter everyday until December 5th arrives. We’re not counting down to a big trip this time or the day we cut down our tree. This time, we’re counting down to the arrival of this little guy.

EnZhe

When our adoption agency sent out a big email blast about their new hosting program months ago, we talked about being a part of it. But, we had lots of reasons not to.

– This is our first year with all the kids in school which means my first year to be doing more outside the home and actually get some things done.
– We travel a lot, like a lot a lot. In fact, Mark has a China trip for 10 days over the hosting time.
– We had just finished a labor intensive hosting (…pun intended).
– It cost a good bit of money.

We didn’t think about it again until the day I got back from China. The agency had hoped to bring over 20 kids but since it was the first time they were doing this, they were only at 11. Emails went back and forth. Entire fees were waived. Lots of jet-lagged conversations happened. Four Raudenbush children joined those conversations. We asked the question, “Why would we not do it?” and all of the answers that seemed to roll off our tongues months before could be summed up with one answer, “It would be really hard.” And, we just decided that that answer wasn’t enough.

– Our kids were excited about making our Christmas traditions be about joy for someone other than ourselves. (They literally said that which is kinda a cool thing, right?)
– The decision became less about if we were able to do this and more about if we were willing to do this. (Thanks to two friends who kinda pointed this out to me.)
– I had just shared how we were learning that we can only be filled up again and again when we are poured out. (He always seems to ask us to put the lessons we’re learning into practice, right? Yeah, that happens.)
– The cost had been provided, nearly completely provided, down to our social worker even offering a few hand-me-downs the little pumpkin can use here when he arrives with only the clothes on his back. (Yup, couldn’t use finances as any excuse.)

So, yes, it’s costly in a lot of ways and perhaps a little crazy to some. But, we’re counting down with great anticipation because in 15 days, there will be another little set of feet in our humble home for Christmas. We can’t wait to get to know him and celebrate Christmas with him and introduce him to all of you because this little guy is looking for more than a family to host him for Christmas. And, all 6 of us are committed to helping him find that family.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, Orphans

What Orphan Sunday is Not {Orphan Sunday 2015}

11.8.15

Child with Down Syndrome October 2015 - 1Orphan Sunday.

It’s not about a movement. Movements eventually fade with time.

It’s not about a cause. Causes are embraced by only a few and can distract us.

It’s not about providing content for pastors who preach every Sunday. There are nearly 775,000 words fully able to provide content for a lifetime of 52 weeks.

It’s not about checking a box. One designated Sunday service of 52 Sunday services even if every word and moment of those 2 hours bled a particular topic does not allow anyone to say a box can be checked and their job is done. 

It’s not about telling people they need to do more. It’s not about urging the Church to adopt. It’s not even about adoption.

If it’s not about a movement, a cause, content, checking a box, rallying people to do more, or adoption, what is it about? 

It’s about the heart of God. It’s about who we are as His children.

A devoted and faithful child cares about the things that his or her father cares about. As those who follow Christ, we are called to mirror His heart. And, His heart is for the one without, every single one without.

On Orphan Sunday, the Church reminds those within its 4 walls of the ones without its 4 walls who are dear to our Father’s heart—the approximately 153,000,000 children around the world who are orphans—and need to be dear to our hearts not just during a nice service, singing songs that stir our hearts, watching videos that leave us in tears, or hearing His Word preached and responding with Amens. Those things are not without purpose; they are tools He uses to grow our hearts to look more like His own. It just can’t end today because tomorrow is Orphan Monday and the next day is Orphan Tuesday then comes Orphan Wednesday, Orphan Thursday, and Orphan Friday…

His call. Our call. It isn’t about today; it’s about everyday.

Learn to do good. It doesn’t come naturally and is not easy. But, we have the best teacher to help us.
Seek justice. It can be hard to find in a broken world.
Help the oppressed. If you have been comforted, you can be comfort.
Defend the orphan, every orphan. They are His and, therefore, our little brothers and sisters.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: words about faith

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