Kelly the Overthinker, Author at My Overthinking

Taking heart.

5.17.18

It wasn’t easy getting out of bed yesterday. I’m one of those borderline obnoxious morning people. I actually enjoy being up with one cup of coffee down before the sun rises. But, yesterday was hard. I was off my game. We’ve had a string of late nights following busy days. Laying in bed hearing my alarm ring for the third and fourth time, I spent more energy than I care to admit justifying why more time in bed was a better choice than heading to the coffee maker and my green chair to spend time with God. I did make it there eventually…later than normal but there…but I felt distracted and somehow busy though I had been out of bed for only minutes.

I’ve been doing what I call word studies in my mornings in my green chair. They started in August when I became acutely aware of some big feelings that need truth spoken into them. So, I listed out every occurrence of the phrase “I am with you” in the Bible and slowly went through every one. When I reached the end of my list, I went all the way back to the beginning now studying every passage with the phrase “He is with you” or “God is with you.” It took months of daily study, sometimes in passages I never would have found otherwise. When I was done, I moved to the phrase “set your mind.” Then, I studied the words “steady” and “firm.” Now, I’m looking at the phrase “take heart,” a study that led me this morning to John 16:33, a verse I’ve heard over and over again.

As I read the words yesterday morning, I had to tell myself to sip my coffee slowly rather than gulp it down, not unlike the way I was approaching God’s word really. I read the verse then I read the verse in context. I read the passage in various versions of Scripture. I waited a whole 5 seconds for some divine revelation of rich application, deep meaning, something relevant to me today. After all, I needed it and 5 seconds is plenty of time for all that, right?

It was the last full day before we were leaving for China again. My brain was busy with so many things as I read John 16 yesterday.

Here on earth you will have many trials and many sorrows. But, take heart, because I have overcome the world.

That’s it? What does that matter? Sitting there thinking of the myriad of challenges I am facing to prepare and execute this trip and everything else, I wanted something more.

You will have many trials and challenges. But, take heart, it won’t last forever and something good is coming…take heart, there’s more to the story than all this…take heart, you are not alone.

No. Jesus said, take heart because He has overcome the world. It must matter or He wouldn’t have said it. But, take heart, because…because…The fact that He has overcome is what allows us to take heart, to have courage, to persevere, to keep going deeper when we may feel like hitting the proverbial snooze button 10 more times. Why? His overcoming means that there isn’t a single thing in this world that has power over Him or even exists outside of His power. His overcoming covers it all.

In this broken world you will continue to face challenges, some small and some really big. But, you can take heart, because there is nothing in this world that has power greater than mine. Even your hardest hards aren’t stronger than my strong.

I’m glad I made it to the green chair and didn’t get up out of it having rehearsed a familiar verse and ticked the box without hearing Him tell me not just TO take heart but WHY I can.

Let’s do this.

A picture’s worth a thousand praises

5.5.18

I love a good photo. Sharpness of color. An interesting perspective. A perfectly precise moment capture.

This photo is not a work of art. There’s nothing particularly remarkable about it at first. It was taken by an adoptive family making a short visit to their child’s orphanage, an orphanage where we have been, where we have hosted programs for kids and for caregivers. It was a relatively normal day there when the family visited. The children aren’t dressed up for a special performance. The caregivers too are in everyday clothes with no lipstick, no fanfare. But, everything about this picture makes me want to clap and jump up and down.

Each time we have been there, we have left our supplies. We leave them all with lots of permission: Please, use these. Don’t put them away because they are too nice. Go ahead. Use them up. Wear them out. We can bring more next time. They hear us. They smile. But, typically, they shake their heads. These are so nice. We will keep them here safely. We don’t want to ruin them.

The picture I saw shared online, a picture of many they took that day, months after our visit, shows that at some point, someone decided to use the supplies. The colored bottles set up in in a triangle to the left of the teacher are sensory bottles we made with the children when we were there, made from recycled water bottles, filled with glitter and a glue and water concoction so they slowly sparkle and spin when turned. That colorful cube that the teacher is holding is part of a game we played as a large group. It has a deck of cards that goes with it with pictures and words, cards that aren’t in the picture from what I can tell which makes me even happier because that means she is using that colorful cube in some sort of new way, not the way we used it, engaging the little girl across the circle from her. If we could see her face, I bet that if she wasn’t smiling at this moment, she would be just moments later. With a little one on her lap close by, another Ayi is looking on, smiling herself and wearing one of the aprons my mom and other seamstresses made that we gave as gifts to the caregivers.

A simple interaction captured by a family in a simple image, simply to remember their visit to the orphanage. And, it provokes in me a thousand praises.

Always Growing

4.16.18

I have a confession. There are moments that I find myself thinking: What in the world am I doing? Those moments could be around our dinner table when literally four people are speaking at once and no one seems to listening to any of it. They could be when one of those four people believes it is essential to correct some seemingly insignificant detail in someone else’s story. They could be when feet hit the stairs hard to make a point and a door gets slammed. It’s there, in that space that I hear that voice in my head saying: Who are you to sit with families, hear their stories, and seek opportunities for connection?

I was there the other day, listening to that message, wondering how people might see me differently if they were sitting beside me.

No screens. Find something else to do. There’s plenty of options. Go find one, preferably by yourself for a while.

I don’t remember what the other three found to occupy them. But, Lydia asked for crayons. Not long later, she handed me this. She had no agenda, no hidden motive, seemingly no point she wanted to make. She just decided to draw it—our family tree. Happy with the finished product, she wanted to share it.

She showed me the title in the center—Family tree—and made sure I noticed that there were six flowers on the tree for each one of us. She pointed out the roots reaching down deep to make the tree strong. And, she read the words aloud: Familys still have to grow more love togeter always.

{sigh}

You know what? I’m okay with the loud dinners and disagreements and corrections. They don’t disqualify me to do what I do. Navigating them by grace to grow more love together always qualifies me for what I do.

Together Called 2018

3.31.18

It’s hard to believe that it was about 7 years ago that this whole thing was birthed originally. Imagine a long table at a cafe with maybe 12 women gathered around it. There was lots of laughter and so much heart, so much intention. How could we join arms to serve moms through adoption better. That was our mission that Sunday evening. We talked grand ideas and dreams as a faithful brain trust. When the last mug was set down and the last chair pushed in, we were resolved to do something very different than what we thought we might be doing. We needed something for marriages not for women alone. Serving a community of mamas would be good; but intentionally building marriages would be best.

That’s how Together Called started. Just a handful of women who wanted to serve and wanted their own marriages to be served as well. We all wanted what we thought Together Called could offer. We wanted space to reconnect with our husbands. We wanted to have someone stand before us and speak to our weariness and remind us that God has called us to pour ourselves out. We wanted to hear that He is pleased with us despite our own messages of incompetence.

That just doesn’t get old. We don’t grow out of needing that.

I guess that’s why we’re still doing this thing. I’m so glad we are.

“How many more of these do you think you have in you?” someone asked me that this past weekend. It was a good question, and one I didn’t answer quickly. We’re in a different place than we were 7 years ago. Our babies were still babies then. Now, we’re closer to an empty nest than we are midnight feedings. Mark and I are in a different place than we were 7 years ago. We were still figuring things out for the first time then, everyday learning about what godly trauma-informed parenting looks like. I guess we’re still figuring that out now as everyday is a first. But, the foundation is firm with years of practice. We love Together Called now for different reasons now than we did in the beginning. But, we do still love it.

I don’t know how many more of these we have in us. We’ll keep going as long as we feel together called to it. For now, we do. Together called to provide space even if for only a few days for married couples caring for kids from hard places to laugh, reconnect with each other, experience the joy of community, reignite hope even in the darkest places, be challenged to be intentional in their families and in their marriages.

We are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect story of bringing good into our lives, for we are His delight, His people who have been together called to a glorious purpose.

{my paraphrase of Romans 8:28}