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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Our Love Shack

2.21.12

The romance is still alive.

Couldn’t wait to give this gift to Mark from one of my favorite Etsy-sellers-turned-friend. I nearly tore open the box it came in and gave it to him on Valentine’s Day Eve Eve.

It’s our house.

In a pillow.

Perhaps you are thinking that is a slightly odd gift for a man for Valentine’s Day. But, he–we–get into this kind of thing.

It’s our house, a reminder of the family we’ve built through God’s grace, a reminder of growth and process and a journey that continues.

It’s just a pillow, I know. But, it’s not just a pillow.

We look at this and see us walking through it for the first time, knowing this was where we wanted to raise our family.

We look at this and see Mark with a mask on, covered in dust, working hard to scrap stucco off a ceiling, put in insulation, finish a bathroom, and on and on and on, to make this building our home. We see the living room curtains I overthought and overthought and days spent with my mom sewing in our dining room to put them together.

We look at this and see children posing outside on the first day of school. We see carved pumpkins and Buzz Lightyear proudly giving out candy.

We see bedroom lights on upstairs as babies woke at night to be fed and snuggled.

We see a place we want to be.

And, what better Valentine’s gift could I give?

There’s no other place I’d rather be than here. This is where I belong, where we belong, together.

And, if you’re wondering, I got a dozen roses and a surprise afternoon coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts. [insert happy sigh of a woman in love with her man]

And, in addition to our love shack pillow, I gave Mark some tickets to go to this conference in a couple weeks. Don’t laugh. He wants to go.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Mark

Her friends

2.19.12

“Lydia, whatcha doing?”

“I’m looking at my friends. These are my friends, Mama.”
as she gazes at our calendar from New Day Foster Home, a nonprofit serving Chinese orphans in Beijing, China

Lord, help me know how to parent this little girl to encourage her love for the people of her home country and love for the children around the world who are without families while also helping her to know she is our daughter fully and, while she may not look like us physically, fits perfectly with us.

Sunday Snapshot

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Lydia, Sunday Snapshot

Happy Purity

2.14.12

We made some super Valentines this weekend.

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping and somehow managed to get what we needed despite being nasally oppressed by roses and having to face the humungous Valentine robot guard at the door surrounded by a gazillion other helium balloons.

Lydia and I partied with a kindergarten class this morning.

And, I even fashioned a Valentine masterpiece on Ashlyn’s pretty little head this morning (I’m particularly proud of this one.)

All the frilly, silly Valentine stuff is a little much…not that a girl doesn’t like some special attention every now and then.

So, in between popping chocolates into your mouth tonight from your hubs, why don’t you consider talking a bit more deeply about what love looks like as couple and as a family.

That’s my plan.

And, then head over here and consider something super romantic–taking a parenting purity pledge.

When the rest of the country is all ga ga about romantic love, take some time to read what makes up a “parenting purity pledge” and maybe even look up the Scripture referenced there together as a couple. Consider if you can really commit to the things laid out there.

I know I’m challenged by them.

Like seriously challenged.

But, I know I want that for my family and for us as parents. And, reading through those commitments are just what I need right now as we work on developing a mission and vision for our family.

And, you get a little reward if you take that pledge too–a free download from Seeds Family Worship from their new purity cd released today and a free digital devotional from Family Life. Warning – be prepared to buy the whole album because just the one song is only a teaser which will leave you wanting to download the rest of the collection here. And, as a little bonus for you, enter the code SPARROW for 20% off any or all of their CDs. That’s in honor of The Sparrow Fund, folks. Thank them over at Seeds Family Worship for that.

Happy Valentine’s Day, folks. May it be one that leads you to some conversation about true love…and maybe some crazy balloons and roses to boot. Who knows.

TSF

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Just plain cool

China Bans "Orphan" Names

2.9.12

Rich in meaning. Rich in visual art form.

Chinese names intrigue me.

I’ve heard some beautiful ones that bring a tear to my eye. And, some very unbeautiful ones that bring a tear to my eye.

Orphans named for their special need–a name that means “blue mouth” for a child suffering from cyanosis due to a heart defect or “missing arm.” Or, perhaps worse, orphans named by some institution staff member for their orphan status alone–for example, a name that means “found with a note.”

As if living in an orphanage is not enough of a reminder of the loss, the child forever carries the stigma of being without a family through his or her name. In a culture where names can define you, they are forever defined as unwanted.

A 32 year-old Chinese woman born missing her hand was abandoned at a few days old in Datong City in Shanxi. She was given the name Dang Ye, meaning she was a ward of the state, cared for by the Party. Later adopted by a Chinese family, they added their surname but kept the name the orphanage gave her.

Even now, as a successful university lecturer, she regrets the name she carries and the story, her story, which is revealed through it.

A lot of people could not help digging up my past when they saw my name for the first time, and then they expressed sorrow or contempt, which made me really upset. 

According to China Daily, China’s Ministry of Social Affairs is working so that this doesn’t happen anymore. By the end of this year, they aren’t going to allow political names indicating that the child is in the care of the Party. They aren’t going to allow names that tell the story of the child’s abandonment. And, I’m hoping they too won’t allow names describing a child’s special need.

Because the children in China without families are not defined by their losses. They are more than their losses. They are perfectly created, known by their maker, and not without hope. And, while most have to carry a name given by an orphanage worker rather than the man and woman who held them when they took their first breath, at least they will no longer have to carry a name that brings shame and forever labels them as rejected.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, China

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