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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Still

1.15.13

I wanted a word of the year. The peer pressure of the blogosphere gripped me.

Such great words I saw out there–new…such a good one to claim, all things new, fresh, full of hope. enjoy…like that, being intentional to really enjoy each day. mercy…ahh, makes me soul take a deep breath, to give it and be able to receive it, not sure which is actually harder. document…great word to keep in mind particularly for mothers who can get caught up in the busyness and forget.

Everybody had such great words they claimed. I wanted a great word. And, nothing. No inspiration for a word for 2013. No epiphanies. No aha moments. Whatever, who needs a word for 2013 anyway. It’s just a word, a little bloggy trend thing anyway. Maybe my word should be wannabe or whatever; yeah, that’s a word, right?

Then, she fed it to me just like that, put it right into my ears that went right to my heart than is now spilling out quite clumsily in words on a white screen.

Mama, I even love you still.

I laughed when she said it, her words all a-jumbled. I treated it just like any other jumbling like when she was playing hairdresser with me and asked if I wanted my hair princessy or spicy (instead of spiky–I chose spicy, by the way). Her cuteness can be tangible.

Yet, days later and days after all the bloggers have posted their own words and moved onto other stories, I’m still thinking about it. still. 

I’m anticipating a bit of a wild year. We’re making some big leaps around here this year. While the words change or purpose or passion seem more fitting. I find myself dwelling on the word still. 

And, while this lady who is 2 weeks late to the word-of-the-year party loves the idea of being still, that’s not what I’ve been dwelling on.

It’s been the passing of time, the even still, part of still. 
It’s the choosing to serve when I’m tired and selfish and want to be alone, still serving. It’s the giving when I want to keep my fists firmly closed, still giving. It’s saying yes when I what I really want to do is say no, still surrendering. It’s the long obedience in the same direction putting aside fear and doubt, still obeying. 
I’m claiming it. Why? because I still need reminding, I still need encouragement, I still need.  
The parties are all over, but I got my word after all (and even a little word art image to go with it). 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Lydia, words about faith

Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing {Three Simple Words}

1.11.13

Remember our nightly advent readings? We were in a groove, so we’ve kept it up. And, I’m beginning to think these readings are as much for me as them–maybe more for me.

‘Treasure these words of mine in your heart and in your soul.’ Deuteronomy 11:18
What words does God want you to treasure in the deepest part of you? ‘Be good’? ‘Do it better’? ‘Try harder’? Are those the words God wrote in the Bible for us, to rescue and free us?
No. Those words only show us what we can’t do.
The words God wants us to remember are three small ones: ‘I love you!’
They are the words that stop the Terrible Lie that Satan whispered to Eve in the garden: ‘God doesn’t love you!’ They are the words that heal the poison in our hearts that stops us from trusting God.
They are the words that Jesus came to tell us with his whole life.
They are the words he died to prove.
What words will you treasure today?

{From Sally Lloyd-Jones’ Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing}

So…what words are you treasuring today? Do better. Do more. Work harder. Be a better mom, wife, Christian….or simply I love you. No strings attached. No ifs. Just I love you, with the understanding that nothing you can do can make that love any more or any less.

That’s a thought to make my heart sing.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: words about faith

How to be an agent of change

1.10.13

I wrote something up last week. It wasn’t something I worked real hard to plan, just sort of rattled off about my own fail and what I had learned and hit “publish.”

I wasn’t expecting the response to it over the following few days–the ones that moved me the most were from women who had children they were not parenting–the birth mothers themselves.

Monday morning, 3 days after my post went up, I got a message on Facebook thanking me for my post and directing me to this status update from Parker Adventist Hospital in Colorado which included a link to my post:

At Parker Hospital, we just changed all our guidelines to discuss “patients pursuing an adoption plan” not how to care for “Birthmoms”- A woman is not the “Birthmom” to a child until she makes her decision final. We are working on shifting our words to reflect more accurately her decision process. This blog defines it well…

Forget popsicles for breakfast—that’s the way to start a day. I was so excited–not because of any glory to me because it wasn’t my blog post, my overthinking that led to that major policy change. No, no. It was the voices that went before me, the passionate ones who shared with the policy makers the same message over and over again and felt like they were banging their heads against the wall. They said, “nothing I do makes any difference,” “I don’t know why I try,” “This isn’t worth my effort.” But, seeds were planted and started to take root. I just got to be a part of the last step, the one that ushered in change.

That’s how you become an agent of change for whatever it is you are passionate about. You just keep on keeping on, long obedience in the same direction, even when it seems like it isn’t doing a thing. Your success as a change agent isn’t about an immediate response to your initiative; it’s not really anything about you. It’s just about doing what you are supposed to do and having others do the same. 

In response to all the comments on Parker Hospital’s Facebook page, the hospital itself responded:

spread the word – raise the bar for all hospitals, demand they educate their nursing staff and update their policies to reflect current practice! Know an OB nurse? CEO of a hospital a family friend? Ask them about their hospital’s protocol and how it embraces all parties involved! Point them to Parker Hospital . . . we would love to share this model with other hospitals!

It was the advocates for women considering adoption who went before me. It was my simple act of writing about my own fail and lesson learned. It was the people who read my simple words and shared them. It was the policy makers at the hospital who are now change agents themselves. Change begets change. 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption

How to start a Wednesday

1.9.13

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Lydia

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