My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Valentine, Valentine

I

YOU.
I’d love you to the moon and back. 
But, for now, I’ll stick with loving you all the way to China and back. 
Moon? China? It’s all far from home. But, there’s work to be done in China, my love. And, I am so excited to be walking along with you in that work. 

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Belle of the {CNY} Ball

It’s no big deal for Ashlyn now. She has performed her dances enough now that she worries more about having her eyeliner put on than the part actually on stage in front of an audience. 

But, our little one? It was her first experience on a real stage. She had been up front twice before with Community Bible Study. The first time last year, she lasted about 5.5 seconds before breaking down. This past Christmas, she did really well. But, it was up front in a church with normal lighting and with a sanctuary of ladies who were all smiling and loving on those little ones. 
The Chinese New Year Gala yesterday that our Chinese school does every year was a bit different. Picture a full high school auditorium with a 98% Chinese audience, lots of cameras, lots of microphones turned up too high with occasional feedback that has become as much a part of the day as the acts themselves. 
All she had to do was go up with her class and sing a song. That’s it. She made it quite clear that she didn’t want to do it. More than a few “no”s were said as she clung to me. The invitation to hold the hand of her classmate didn’t keep her tears away either. 
Right before the class’ big moment, I took her back stage and placed her there on the edge of the group. 
Pointing to the side…”I’ll be right there. If you don’t want to do it or feel scared, just come right to me, okay?” 
And, she nodded. 
The curtain opened. 
And, the music started. 
And, under those bright lights, maybe all the crowd disappeared a little because she did it. She moved her lips ever so slightly in rhythm with the song, seemingly singing words I do not understand. Who knows if any actual sound came out…but that doesn’t matter.
And, then she turned to me and smiled with her dimples looking bigger than ever and waved at me as if she hadn’t a care in the world. My belle of the CNY ball.
I wish I had gotten it on camera, but I put the camera down because I was too busy waving and gushing. 

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A Chinese New Year SNAKE Cake

There are some things I strive to make a tradition. Chore charts, for instance. I’ve tried ’em. I can get them to work for a season, and then they’re done. No tradition. Just a short-lived attempt at something. 

Then, there are other things that happen one time and like it or not, they’re tradition. 
Last year, Chinese New Year’s Eve was spent creating a dragon cake masterpiece. Our Chinese school loved it. Way loved it and, started talking about snake cakes shortly thereafter. I made a cake once and somehow it became tradition–and one that stressed me out, mind you, since I am not a baker. In fact, I don’t even eat cake. But, I’m now the CNY cake maker at least in our little ‘hood. 
When I should have been sleeping, I was laying in bed pondering how to make this bad boy. I could have used the same body formation that I used for the dragon to make a slithering snake. But, I was worried it would look too been-there-done-that two years in a row. So, I went for the coiled look. 
After spending entirely too much time in the grocery store staring at the candy and icing and all that good stuff hoping some creative muse would come to me, I ended up with two marble cake mixes, two canisters of icing, two $.99 chocolate Valentine hearts, a box of fruit by the foot, a package of disposable 8″ cake round pans, and a gigantic bag of M&Ms. I bought double what I thought I’d need…well, because I assumed I’d have some problems and might need a do-over. Turns out the first run worked–I really only needed one box cake mix and one canister of icing. Maybe I’ll just have to make this again with what I have still in my pantry. 
I followed the directions on the cake mix box (I know, I’m such a faker) and filled one 8″ round more than the other (buttering and flouring those pans like nobody’s business), thinking the bigger round would look good as the bottom coil. Once they were baked, I let them cool a good while in the pans and then took them out to cool without flipping them upside down.
The edges didn’t look rounded enough for me. So, I used my bread knife and shaved just a little bit around the top to round it a bit. I saved the pieces I cut off because I ended up using those little cake scraps for the tail.
I cut a round circle out of cardboard that was slightly larger than the cake pan I used and wrapped it with foil. I put the bigger finished cake down on that foil-wrapped circle to start decorating. Before I covered the whole thing with icing, I mushed those extra little pieces of cake together and put a little bit of icing in with it to mold it a bit. I stuck that onto the side of the cake to be the tail and then covered it all with chocolate almond flavored icing. I don’t even know if anyone really noticed that tail, but I thought it added a bit to the look. I started adding stripes of M&Ms in a red and orange pattern, only doing the sides and a little bit onto the top since I knew the other round cake was going to be on top anyway. 
Before I put the other round cake on top, I put some icing on the bottom of it around the edges since I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get underneath it very well to spread the icing without messing up my bottom cake I had already decorated. Then, I carefully put it on top and covered it with icing and the M&M pattern just like I did the bottom, deliberately not having the stripes line up with the bottom layer. 
Once I did that, I took one of my $.99 chocolate Valentine hearts, put icing all over the flat back side and stuck in that icing a 8″ or 9″ piece of fruit by the foot which I had cut in half width wise with kitchen shears. I then matched up the other heart so that the “tongue” was sandwiched between them. I put a glob of icing on the center of the top of the cake and put that heart head on top of that, finishing it off with 2 yellow M&Ms for eyes stuck on with another dab of icing. 
Then, I stood back and admired him…and called my parents and made them take a look at him…and texted my husband who was away for a YL conference and made him look at him…and posted a picture on FB so that I could have some other people affirm me before taking him to the gala today to keep up tradition.
They liked it. Really liked it. They even told me that the NBC news crew got it on camera as they got coverage of the gala today. As with last year, they waited until the end to cut it. The head was the first to sell when they did finally cut it. My two boys who I proceeded to purchase pieces of my snake cake for seemed to like it along with a bunch of other kids. 
And, yes, though I vowed on FB at midnight last night that I would not be attempting to make a horse cake next year, maybe I did google it for a few minutes tonight, alright? But, I’m not committing to anything, okay? I think a dragon cake and snake cake fully extended my cake creativity…at least for now.

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Stories {Jiayin Giveaway}

As I remembered our story and the day we saw our daughter’s face for the first time, I invited other mamas to do a little bit of their own sharing. I wanted to hear the stories behind their own Jiayin charms. Twelve ladies shared, and each one was so fun to read.

The story of Karleigh Mei who visits her name charm in her special China box and dreams of how she’ll wear it one day. The story of a mama who is embracing the story God has given her while she prays for the desire of her heart. The story of a mama who has gifted charms and been given a charm and has a very neat reason to want another one. The story of a mama’s journey to becoming a mama.

These stories required reinforcements. There was no way I’d choose. Both of my reinforcements individually told me this particular story moved them to tears.

Here it is. Susannah’s story of the gift she gave her mother on New Year’s Day. The perfect gift for this special mother who will one day soon have a very special grandchild.

______________________________

You know when you want to find the perfect gift to make the recipient know how special they are, well I found the perfect gift for the perfect person!  My mother is an incredibly special person to me, beyond words special to me.  We have a bond, like no other, and not a day goes by when I don’t call my mom to see how she is and just to hear her voice.  I love her so much, not only because she is my mom, but because she is the strongest woman of God I know!  She has a love for the Lord and an unshakable form of faith that few have.  I aspire to be the faithful servant of the Lord she is, what an inspiration!

My mom means so much to me and we have grown closer with each passing year. The last five years we have formed a bond so tight, it’s unbreakable.  She has provided much comfort and words of wisdom when I would call each month with a tearful broken heart as my dream of motherhood was not fulfilled.  She would encourage me and hold me tight when another friend or family member was having a baby and I was on years of trying with no results.  My mom would cry with me as I would ask “why” and she would respond “I don’t know, but God is faithful” and whisper prayers into my ear to comfort me.  My mom kept her emotions in check, at times, when I knew she wanted to be sobbing deep tears of sorrow with me , but knew she couldn’t if she wanted to help me stay in faith.  What a strong, loving mom I have! I have to say through all the pain, disappointments and tears, my mother never wavered in her faith and confessions that I would be a mother….at times she had to stand in the gap for me and lead me through dark places…she never gave up…I never gave up because of her encouragement.

When the Lord called AJ and I to adopt, I knew I wanted to honor my mother becoming a grandmother again in a very special way.  Although adoption is not the most traditional way of becoming a grandmother, I wanted her to have best, most memorable experience possible!  I wanted to honor her being a grandmother in any way I could and the way she deserves. When I came across this delicate charm, I knew this needed to be around my mother’s neck.

This beautiful charm means “maternal grandmother” and is pronounced Lao Lao.  It’s a perfect piece to give to a woman so worthy of the title Grandmother.  The moment I gave this charm to my mom on New Years Day, the joy that exuded from everyone in the room was overwhelming.  Most everyone was crying and my mom was moved deeply.  It was such incredible moment to honor a woman who has given so much to so many people and never expects anything in return.  It makes my heart happy that I can give my mother something she can carry with her everyday so that she knows how loved she is and what an amazing grandmother she will be to our children.  One day, when my children go barreling into her house, calling her name, she’ll know their love was with her before she could see them, touch them or whisper “I love you” in their ears!

______________________________

Susannah has won a custom charm, chain, and drop pearl for herself. And, she’s also won a custom charm, chain, and drop pearl to give away to another waiting mama who is in the middle of another beautiful story no doubt. 

Can’t wait to hear the rest of their stories, can you?

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