My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Sharing Your Own Adoption Story

I write a lot about adoption; there’s a lot I overthink about adoption. But, the part of adoption that most woos my heart? It’s the redemption of brokenness. Through adoption, somehow, a broken interwoven story of the birth family unable to parent, the family longing for a child, and the child who needs a family to pursue and love miraculously is redeemed. That’s the beauty of adoption.

It’s Easter. It’s the day we celebrate another miracle, one that the experience of earthly adoption only reflects albeit imperfectly. It’s the real Orphan Sunday, the day Christians have set apart for centuries to remember what Christ did when He gave His life so that we could live, what He did when He bled and died to pay the penalty of our sin served as that red ink fingerprint on the adoption paperwork. We no longer are separated from God, broken and without hope; through Christ, we are adopted into His family, loved not only as children of God but seen only as fully His children because that’s what Christ’s death and resurrection made us.

I won’t stop writing about adoption here. One of my most significant callings is as a mother to both children who were born to me and one who was not born to me–all of whom are fully my children. Adoption is close to my heart. I’m just going to add to the conversation a bit, sharing my own adoption story and encouraging others to do the same. Because sharing our stories–that’s often what God uses to help people see Him in a new way, doesn’t He?

This Easter, when the sugar high becomes a low and the family dinner and dishes are done, I want you to think about sharing your story. Maybe this week or the week after that, if you’ve never shared your adoption story before, set apart some time to think it through, jot down some notes or put them into a Word document. Write your story since He’s already written it for you. Read it over, practice it, know it. Maybe share it with your husband; maybe your mom; maybe your children. I want to share a few of your stories right here too. Let me know if you’re open to having your story shared. There’s something about sharing them publicly together in one spot–it’s when a blog becomes worship.

As you’re considering your story or your testimony, here are some questions to get you thinking. You don’t have to answer all these, they are just to help you remember, help you better organize and communicate. I’m hoping they help.

My story before I accepted Christ or gave Him complete control of my life:

  1. What was my life like that someone who doesn’t yet know Christ would relate to?
  2. What did my life revolve around the most? 
  3. What did I get my security or happiness from? 
  4. How did those areas let me down?

My story of receiving Christ or giving Him complete control of my life:

  1. When was the first time I heard the gospel or recognized dynamic Christianity in someone’s life?
  2. What were my initial reactions? 
  3. When did my attitude begin to turn around? Why? 
  4. What were the final struggles that went through my mind just before I accepted Christ? 
  5. Why did I go ahead and accept Christ? 

My story after I accepted Christ or gave Him complete control of my life:

  1. What are some specific changes in my life evident either immediately or over time? 
  2. Why am I motivated differently?
  3. How do I see myself, God, and/or life differently? 
Just share–no need to add anything sensational if there wasn’t anything seemingly sensational. Just share yourself. Keep it short–no more than 700 words so that it takes under 5 minutes to read it or for you to share aloud. Try to avoid Christian terms that people won’t understand, recognizing the fact that you’re testifying to not only people who know God already for them to worship Him because of His work in you but also to people who may not know Him yet who may see Him in a new way because of what you’re sharing. 
Happy Easter. I’m hoping I get to read some of your stories over the next few weeks so that we can continue to remember and remember and remember our own “Gotcha Days.” 

No related posts.

The Middle Man and Sahara Sams

Gifted passes to an indoor water park in NJ + a day off of work and school + Drew’s 7th birthday = the perfecta trifecta….or the perfect storm?

Sahara Sam’s is pretty awesome. The kids literally jumped up and down with their hands in the air and threw some high fives in there for good measure when we told them we were going the night before. But, here’s the thing–we weren’t the only ones telling their kids they were going the night before.

Oh. my. word.

By the time the place cleared out a bit and half of New Jersey had left for the day, I was able to pull out my camera to take a few pics.

Sahara Sams indoor waterpark in New Jersey

Having just seen a glimpse of the crowd, you may understand why the following picture features what’s pretty much right in front of you as you enter the water park (and why it had quite a long line).

Sahara Sams indoor waterpark New Jersey

Of course, that’s just for the adults. The kids are way too busy enjoying the attractions to need any respite.  And, somehow, the crowds didn’t bother ours one bit (especially since the rules were a bit more lax than our pool where Drew and Lydia are required to wear life jackets). See the joy of kids with the freedom to go under water with a gazillion other people without a life-saving device attached to them?

Sahara Sams3

Sahara Sams4

 

Though I was tempted to find the least crowded spot in the park and plant myself there for the rest of the day, I quickly realized that that spot might not be the most comfortable place for me.

Sahara Sams7

 

So, I gave in and joined my older 3 in line for Mount Kilimanjaro, the longest line in the whole stinkin’ place, and the line that moved even slower than it should have given the middle school set who kept budging in line. The lines were a bit of a free for all once you got to the top of the platform here. Without even partaking in the adult respite beverages, I was able to defend our position, however, making my children proud.

Sahara Sams5

I confess, the slide was pretty awesome. I loved it. My older 3, however, claimed they went upside down and wouldn’t do it again and somehow we ended up doing the lazy river about 100 times. They’re still talking about how I defended our position in line though. Yeah, I’m pretty much super mom.

Crazy loud. Super crowded would be an understatement. 90-minute drive each way. Obnoxious middle schoolers trying to sneak into line. Tiny lockers that were sold out. A perpetual line for bathrooms and dressing rooms. But, totally worth giving up our day for. My middle man, the one known for claiming no one plays with him or pays attention to him, was the happiest man in the world.

Sahara Sams8

After dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger on the way home and presents and brownies at home, he told us it was his best birthday of his whole life.

Now, Mark and I just have to sleep it off.

No related posts.

Overthinking abandonment, broken stories, and peace

A desperate mother made a desperate choice.

She left her baby.

Two people—a woman and child, among a large crowd, no doubt—got on the train at Jiujiang Station in Jiangxi Province. And, at some point between there and Beijing, only one of them got off, leaving a toddler alone, chugging away on a train. Perhaps she waited until he was asleep and then slowly pulled him from her body as all mothers do when their babies are asleep on them and they need to get up. Perhaps she shushed him gently as all mothers do to make sure he stayed asleep as she slipped out from under him.

But, unlike all mothers, this one didn’t come back. I wonder if he woke up and saw her leave. I wonder if he cried. I wonder who heard him. He wasn’t found until employees were checking the train at the last stop. I wonder who walked past him and didn’t notice him at all. I wonder who walked past him and didn’t want to notice him.

A desperate note was found with him.

I am an unmarried mother…Now the father abandoned us. I am devastated, but without a marriage certificate, what else can I do? Now my family is forcing me to go home and meet a date and get married. I am so ashamed to take a baby home. My son was born on December 17, 2011. I hope a kind-hearted person can adopt him. If such luck fails, please send him to a formal adoption agency to ensure his safety. I could only pay you back in the next life. Thank you!”

According to an expert specializing in “child protection,” the mother has committed the crime of abandonment and, if found, could be sentenced to up to 5 years imprisonment. The expert went on with his expert words, “The right thing for the mother to do is to sue the father who abandoned them and the father would have to pay more than half of the baby’s living expenses.”

The right thing to do. 

5 years in prison, in a country whose prisons aren’t known for honoring people, in a country where women cannot legally place a child for adoption.

Who can tell her the right thing to do?

My heart breaks for her. In the depth of my spirit, I ache for her. I pray that she knows peace before she gets to the next life. Somehow. 

Maybe I hurt so much for her as she stands as a sort of surrogate for the mother who I wish had given her daughter a letter like this, some sort of explanation, some sort of story, some sort of history, something. Maybe I want to run to this woman because who I really want to run to is the woman who carried my child. I don’t know her story—whatever it was, I know only that it was broken.

Did she do the right thing? Right things in the midst of deep brokenness are sometimes difficult to name. Today, I wish I could hold her face in my hands and tell her this –

There is no repayment, nothing you need to do, nothing you need to give. There is no luck, only God’s mercy and grace both of which make beauty from ashes, wholeness when all is broken. Be free from your shame, and take courage in the One who can give you peace in this life and the after life forever and ever.

Instead, I will hold another face in my hands and speak words of love and truth to her.

No related posts.

Follow Along!

Categories

Recent Posts