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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Build the Nest

5.1.13

I’m such a numbers girl. Give me percentages, and I start tracking. These particular numbers stuck with me. The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services reported that 30% of all Americans reported having seriously considered adopting at some point in their lives. Yet, only 2% actually adopt. That means that of those who say they’ve seriously considered adopting, 14 out of 15 don’t ever do it.

Why not? It’s daunting—the financial cost, the impact this child will have on your family, the overwhelming number of unknowns. It’s no easy thing. We get that.

As we walked that road ourselves and alongside other families, we saw a need. That 2% of families who were taking that leap of faith to bring a child into their family through adoption—they needed more support. So, we took the leap of faith ourselves to do whatever we could to do just that.

Build the Nest for The Sparrow FundTwo years ago, we started The Sparrow Fund to give grants to families specifically for the purpose of family support through programs around the country that provide preadoption support and counsel, on-call support for families while they travel across the world to meet their children and bring them home, and support once they are home to help both the parents, new son or daughter, and family as a whole become a family.

Recognizing more need, we added programs to encourage and support families from those waiting to meet their children to those who have been home for years. We’ve helped families learn about the unique needs of children who have been adopted in the classroom and how to use correction as a vehicle of connection with their children in a way that is sensitive to them and their histories. And, this past February, we put on a weekend retreat for couples (Together Called) to be reminded of their calling as parents and refreshed to continue serving their children. When registration opened nearly 5 months before the event, it sold out in 16 hours. The need is undeniable.

We’re not interested in growing the number of families adopting; that’s not our focus. Rather, our focus is on pouring into that 2% who are adopting; we want to love and serve them and do whatever we can to make the daunting a little less daunting. And, maybe, just maybe, as the daunting becomes less daunting and the support available becomes more readily available, we’ll see more of those families who have seriously considered adopting say, “maybe we can do this afterall.”

Today starts an important month around here. A whole bunch of folks are coming alongside of us, saying, “Yes, we support adoptive families and the work of The Sparrow Fund to pour into them. And, we want to help.” This May, in our third annual fundraiser, about 50 businesses have made a commitment to help us build the nest so that we can help others as they build their nests. In addition to event sponsors who have donated set amounts to get that nest going, these business partners have made the commitment to give 10% of their total sales throughout the month of May to The Sparrow Fund so that we can do what we do. Isn’t that incredible?

That’s where you come in. We need you to start clicking and start shopping—check these places out.  Shopping purposefully is pretty fun—and makes shopping totally justifiable, by the way. Let’s work together to make that 10% something crazy big.

{p.s. you may want to subscribe to blog posts via email because I’m going to be hosting some awesome giveaways from a handful of these places this month just to make the month even more fun.}

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Jewelry Design

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Sponsors for Building the Nest

To get the nest started…

Sparrow Sponsors

Trades of Hope

Trades of Hope empowers women to create sustainable businesses worldwide. Their desire is for women worldwide to realize their potential as world changers, business owners, dream creators, and heroes of their own stories. A perfect supporter to build the nest for The Sparrow Fund.

Norman L. Graham, Inc.

Norman L. Graham, Inc. is a premier builder of custom homes and additions in South Central Pennsylvania. From design to construction, every Norman L. Graham project is built with care and careful attention to detail. What better partner to build the nest than a company who is all about nest building.

Other Sponsors

If you would like your store or business to be a part of this May fundraising event, please contact Kelly at The Sparrow Fund to be added to this post and future posts as part of this effort.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, The Sparrow Fund, The Sparrow Fund May drive

Behind the scenes

4.28.13

baseball

Sometimes what’s going on behind the scenes is more exciting than the main show on the field.

Our field is pretty exciting right now. The Sparrow Fund’s annual fundraiser starts in a few days. I’m traveling next weekend to speak at an event in Maryland. Mark’s preparing for a trip to China in about 2 1/2 weeks. Our calendar has been full as we continue to meet with folks daily as we put together a team of supporters for full-time purposeful work. And, we’ve had a lot of ball games lately.

As exciting as all that is, I gotta say, I’m more excited about what He’s doing behind the scenes, how He’s working in us and through us in ways we don’t even know, how He’s confirmed our calling, how He’s preparing me for the next season, how He’s unifying Mark and I even more, how He’s working in others to rally them to be a part of our sending team, the little details that we’ve seen come together thus far. I can’t always see that stuff on the main field everyday, but I see glimpses of it. That’s the stuff that energizes me to keep on going with all the other things—that and some good coffee every so often.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: posts I can't really tag, words about faith

What’s fair {for the brother or sister of a child with special needs}

4.26.13

Tell your mom I need to talk to her before you leave.

Please tell me I’m not the only mom who receives that message from her child and sinks a little. Come on. I figure either (a) someone wants me to do something (which I likely won’t want to do) or (b) my kid did something (that I likely don’t want to hear).

I shouldn’t overthink everything.

It wasn’t a or b. He told me this:

I joined the kids at recess today to play kickball and was so in awe of your daughter. One of our autistic kids wanted to play but didn’t get it. His aide was there helping him, but it just wasn’t working. He’d kick the ball but couldn’t grasp what to do next. Ashlyn was amazing; she went right up to him, stood by home plate, and told him to hold her hand. She ran with him around the bases. The aide and I were stunned. It was just amazing, and I just wanted to tell you that.

sibling special needsI remember a time (okay…many times) I overthought something else. We have a son with some special needs. For years, our family has ebbed and flowed by his needs. Is that fair to our other children? Enter adoption, a special needs adoption, and the addition of another child (this time by choice) who would have some special needs that would require a bit more from us. How would this affect our son who already had his own struggles? What about our other two? Was this fair?

When that teacher shared that one little story, I realized I had always asked the wrong question. It’s not about being fair. That question itself implies that our “average” kids were losing out on something, denied something owed them. There’s a better question: Is it right?

Is it right for our children to learn to be flexible, to learn that their needs don’t always come first? Is it right for our children to learn that God has made each one of us differently and uniquely? Is it right for our children to learn to defend the weak and come alongside the hurting? Is it right for our children to learn to die to themselves for the sake of another?

We’re a family. We’re all here, each one of us with unique needs, some a bit more challenging than others, but we’ve all got unique needs. From my vantage point as I count the heads around our dinner table and tuck each one in at night, it’s all just right.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, why can't they just stay little forever

What I really want for Mother’s Day

4.22.13

Dear family,
Mother’s Day is only 20 days away. I know you’re counting down to it. While I’m sure you’ve already made some big plans, just thought I’d give a little direction because that’s what mom’s do; we give directions.

Flowers and fresh strawberries and gift certificates—they are all great. Really. But, honestly, it won’t take much to make me happy this year.

I want a coffee, fixed just the way I like it. I want it the perfect shade of creamy coffee color with just a sprinkling of Splenda. I want it so hot that I can cup one of my favorite Disney World mugs in my hands and feel the warmth while I sit for a while and sip.

(the adorable card from Jane at HappyDappyBits, an Etsy seller likely an amazing mom herself)

(the adorable card from Jane at HappyDappyBits who is likely an amazing mom herself)

While I’m sitting and sipping in my pjs with my perfect cup of coffee, here’s what I don’t want. I don’t want you to tell me I’m the best mom ever. The world is a really big place. And, since the beginning of time, there have been a lot of moms—surely more than a gazillion. And, I’m fairly certain that this mom sitting seeking peace over a cup of coffee is not the best one ever. I can think of a few right off the bat who were pretty amazing—Laura Ingalls’ mom, okay so I can’t remember her name but, she was amazing. Maybe the fact that I can’t remember her name right away adds to her amazing-ness. Martin Luther’s wife Katie, she raised 6 biological children, 4 adopted children, and was known to still teach the masses who her theologian husband brought into her home. Yeah, she was pretty awesome and the supermom incarnate in the 1500s. Naomi from the book of Ruth, not only a great mom but an amazing mother in law. I mean, seriously.

I’m not the best mom ever—thank you, Pinterest, for that reminder daily. But, I want to be a good mom. Can you tell me that this Mother’s Day? Tell me I’m a good mom and one specific reason you think I’m a good mom. If you all can do that, I’ll have 5 good reminders to cling to when Pinterest says nanny-nanny-boo-boo to me, and I find myself wilting a little. Just each one of you tell me one thing I’m doing right as your mom, one specific thing. That’s what I want.

And, my coffee; don’t forget my perfect cup of coffee.

That’s all.

Mom

best mom ever card

 

What do you want for Mother’s Day? Write about it and share it here.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: holidays, Kelly

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