• Home
  • Blog
  • The Sparrow Fund
    • Together Called
    • We Are Grafted In blog
    • Speaking
  • Jiayin
  • Contact

My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

  • Home
  • Blog
  • The Sparrow Fund
    • Together Called
    • We Are Grafted In blog
    • Speaking
  • Jiayin
  • Contact

Together for good

5.14.14

Those of you who’ve been to China have experienced something in a real way that most people never know—jet lag. It’s sort of like the sheer physical and emotional exhaustion and sick-to-your-stomach feeling you’d get if someone woke you at 3am and told you it was time for breakfast except that it’s really 3pm and your children are about to come home from school and need your help with homework. Add in the fact that when the rest of your home is tucked all snug in their beds, you feel like you just drank a full pot of coffee and are tired only of counting sheep in the form of scrolling through Facebook. Yeah, it’s not good at all.

The first night I spent at home in March after my trip to China, I sat in front of my Macbook but closed down Facebook and tried to put some words together about a little boy who had mysteriously captured my heart initially through that same screen in front of me who was now my sweet friend. When I hit “publish,” this is what posted.

I had a lot of emails that weekend. But, there was one message in particular that made me very very hopeful. I knew this mama already because she had brought home a child I had advocated for less than a year ago. I had gotten a glimpse then of her heart for children and for adoption and how fiercely she would become her child’s no-one-gets-passed-me advocate for life. So, I gave her all the information I could and sought to give her even more. And, I prayed.

Adopting right now wasn’t exactly their plan. She shared today on her blog, “For so many reasons in my mind, going back to China wasn’t good for ‘me’ or our family.” But, God nudged them and put all sorts of confirmations around them until they could not not go after their son.

After weeks now of being ready to burst with joy, I am handing off the baton of advocating for a season for QuiLe to the one who God is already transforming into his fierce no-one-gets-passed-me advocate for life.

They’re coming for you, friend. I know you’ve waited for a long time and have endured years of crowded loneliness. But, they’re well on their way to making you a son. It’s going to be hard, but it’s going to be good. 

QuiLe 1

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating

Once upon a time until forever

5.13.14

We were just snuggling up in my favorite chair to read together. A few pages into some silly old book about the Jetsons that she dug out from the shelf, I found myself skipping words and wondering how long I’d be sitting there killing time. She joined me in corporate loss of interest and shuffled through a stack of books to find another, landing on one about adoption that I don’t even like and have kept only as an example. Great. I had this book in my own stack of books next to my desk, not with her books, but she found it and now wanted to read it. I decided reading an in-the-moment edited version was better than the message that could be sent if I said no. And so I read, moving quickly, changing words as we went, and closing the cover in record time.

She didn’t seem affected and just nestled in under my arm and chit chatted about seemingly silly things. Sandwiched between observations about the cats and requests for the iPad, she threw this one in with a big smile on her face:

Tell me the story of when I came out of someone’s belly.

You mean your China mommy’s belly?

Yeah, I want to hear the story. Start with Once upon a time…ok?

While Mark was sleeping on the other side of the world, the place where her story began, here I was facing perhaps the most challenging request she’s ever made of me. Sitting comfortably in my favorite chair on the prettiest day of spring yet and being asked to tell my daughter her own story is infinitely harder than all her midnight requests for more water waking me from a sound sleep put together.

I looked right into her eyes, brushing her hair from her forehead and I told her her story, starting with “Once upon a time” just as she had requested. She smiled the whole time as I told her things I know because I just know like how her China mommy’s belly grew and grew and how she felt her kick and twirl inside her because I bet she was a little monkey even then. I moved to what I know universally to the little we know more specifically, giving her what I felt like her little 5-year-old heart needed. She added in a few details she knew herself that she has learned along the way as I’ve looked for opportunities for openness, and I affirmed her as she did.

Oh yes, the lady with a ponytail walked into the room holding you and your eyes were so big and I thought at that moment that I was looking at the most beautiful baby in the whole world.

She told me to keep going when I thought I was finished, urging me to continue until I took that story right up to today, summing up several years in a few sentences that included things like moving from a crib to a big girl bed and then another bed as we made the playroom into her new bedroom. At a loss of something more to say when we got to present day, I paused and wondered if I should tack on a The End or something but feeling like it just wouldn’t be the right words. Instead, she nestled in closer and smiled even bigger and ended my story of her story herself

And they all lived happily ever after.

And, then we just sat for a while, the quiet interrupted occasionally by another funny observation about a stuffed turtle toy or the marble tower she was going to build until she jumped up and bounded onto the next thing.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, Lydia, why can't they just stay little forever

It’s Mother’s Day

5.11.14

I wasn’t expecting a very good day.

When he told me the dates for his May trip, I wasn’t happy. You’re leaving me to parent alone on Mother’s Day? Really?

How easy it is for me to get stuck on thoughts that are all about me. I was anticipating an emotional rain cloud much like the one Eeyore brings with him. All my friends are getting special treatment and a day off today. Everyone else is receiving flowers and not doing dishes and packing lunches like I will be doing.

But, I woke up to a room flooded with sunshine and children bouncing around the house as they looked outside to see real life truck transformers that will become ferris wheels and carousels before our very eyes over the next 12 hours. I was sequestered to my bedroom while a 10 year old worked some magic in the kitchen and I was summoned to this.

mother's day breakfast

More sunshine poured into our home through emails in my inbox as I got my first glimpses of the reason why Mark is not home today.

English night 1 2014

English night 1b 2014

And, my heart swelled with pride for this man I get to stand beside and for the children who made this often self-centered woman into a mother.

It’s no day off for me today. I’m spending the afternoon taking the girls to Chinese school. The sink will still be full with dishes with I get home, tangible reminders of the happy feast little hands prepared for me. I’ll scrub them with thanks as the children gather at our front windows marveling at the sights and sounds of a carnival-to-be. Then, we’ll head out for dinner and maybe have some ice cream afterwards because that’s what we do.

Today is a good day, a very good day.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: holidays, why can't they just stay little forever

A few words to my four children on Mother’s Day Eve

5.10.14

Hello four children,
In 90 minutes, it’s officially Mother’s Day. You probably don’t remember years of Mother’s Day pasts, so I’ll fill you in. It’s sorta a day to celebrate me. I’ll act all humble and casual and undeserving. But, Daddy will tell you that come the Friday before Mother’s Day, I typically declare it the start of Mother’s Day weekend. I haven’t expected much from you in honor of the weekend over the last 12 years. Truth be told, Daddy was always the one to rally you all to give me some special treatment like breakfast in bed and maybe a nice long nap. But, Daddy is on the other side of the globe giving others special treatment which, mind you, is way more important than serving me a muffin and coffee on Mother’s Day. I believe he’s passed the baton off to you…or maybe left a card on his desk and told you to give it to me on Sunday. Either way, Mother’s Day is your responsibility now. Allow me to give you a little direction because I know you want some.

You don’t know how to use the coffee pot nor how I overthink the balance between decaf and caffeinated coffee beans based on how I feel at that particular moment. So, I’ll get up and do my overthinking and brew some and then come right on back upstairs. Laying in bed with my hot cup of coffee in a China Starbucks mug is a gift enough; who cares who makes the coffee.

Don’t worry about cooking or picking flowers or wrapping expensive gifts (unless Daddy already did that with you before he left, in which case, I will gladly accept them). The best gift you can give me is something I like to call peace. I’m fairly certain you don’t fully understand that word. So, here it goes—no fighting. play nicely together. do whatever it is that you do in Minecraft together and tell each other you like your blocks or whatever it is you make there. I am not asking you to be quiet or to not make a mess. Go ahead, talk, make noise, play two different songs on two different devices, dump the dress-up bin again like you did today. But, when you do it, be peaceful with each other so that this mama can sit back with her partially caffeinated coffee and the Bible where I normally read the same verse 10 times before actually making it through to the end and I can close my eyes, hear the pleasant sound of giggles, the tidal wave of Legos being dumped out and stirred up, and sheep baa-ing and creepers making whatever noise it is that they make, and say to myself, “Ahhh…this is the life.”

Feel free to call me by name (though once is enough, I promise. There’s no need to say it 10 times) and tell me you love me and tell me something specific you love about me. That will encourage me and help me to feel peaceful in the event that you four are not peaceful.

Oh, and please don’t complain that there is a Father’s Day and a Mother’s Day but no children’s day. There’s really no peace in that.

That is all. Goodnight.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Traditions

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 105
  • 106
  • 107
  • 108
  • 109
  • …
  • 371
  • Next Page »

Hello

I overthink everything. This blog is a prime example. Make yourself a cup of coffee and sit down for a read. Actually, make that a pot of coffee. There’s a lot of overthinking here.

Connect

Recent Posts

She’s come a long way

Gift ideas for a happy-China-traveler-to-be

Three gifts.

A letter to my friend on her adoption eve

The day my husband quit his job {reflections 5 years later}

Subscribe to keep up to date via a newsletter

Archives

Popular Posts

  • The day we met Lydia in Xi'an
  • Getting the attachment thing
  • The day my husband quit his job
  • Other places you can find my writing

Follow Along!

Categories

Recent Posts

She’s come a long way

Gift ideas for a happy-China-traveler-to-be

Copyright © 2015 | Design by Dinosaur Stew