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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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seeking first {what it means to me}

8.4.17

seek first His kingdom.

simply look around.
see our broken world.
see Him.
see Him more.
want Him magnified in our broken world.
want to see and experience His will lived out, nothing more, nothing less.
pursue the One who opens doors and sends each wave to shore.
see open doors.
move.

seek first His righteousness.

simply look around.
see our broken world.
see what is right, what is good, what is just.
take pleasure in what is right, what is good, what is just.
magnify what is right, what is good, what is just.
pursue what is right, what is good, what is just without expectation of blessing in return but with expectation of it.
be filled.

photo courtesy of Nicole from Living Out His Love from an orphanage in China where I’m seeking to see things magnified.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: words about faith

“Heads up. Our adoption program isn’t going anywhere, but it’s going to look different.”

7.20.17

There were rumors that changes were coming. I kept up with them, but they were only rumors. Earlier this month, when new rules were issued for people wanting to adopt from China, those rumors about China changing the make-up of the whole adoption program seemed a bit more real.

Yesterday, the announcement a whole bunch of people like me were anticipating was sent out.

Announcement
July 18, 2017

Relevant government departments and adoption agencies in receiving countries,
Following the enactment of the Law of the People’s Republic of China on the Administration of Activities of Overseas Non-Governmental Organizations within the Territory of China (hereinafter referred to as Administration Law) since January 1, we would like to notify as follows on relevant issues about the programs carried out by adoption agencies such as the One-to-One Assistance Program, Journey of Hope Program, and Summer/Winter Hosting Program based on the regulations of the Administrative law and conclusions of competent authorities:

I. All activities concerning the One-to-One program, Journey of Hope Program, and Summer/Winter Hosting Program will be terminated. For children who have been assessed by adoption agencies through the One-to-One program before the enactment of the Administrative Law and whose reports have not been submitted to CCCWA, if their reports are submitted through the provincial department of civil affairs to CCCWA before December 31, 2017 (subjected to the approval date of the provincial department), CCCWA will post these files to the specific list of the original adoption agency. Agencies are requested to look for children within required deadline, otherwise the files will be withdrawn by CCCWA when the deadline is closing.

II. Foreign adoption agencies should abide by the business scope specified in the registration when working in China. No activities with inter-country adoption as the purpose are allowed when agencies work in welfare and charity related activities.

III. Adoption agencies should look for adoptive families according to the requirements outlined in the Review Points for Decision on the Eligibility of Foreigners Adopting from China and avoid hasty placements without discretion within the deadline.

China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption Center

Adoption agency partnerships terminated. Advocacy trips into orphanages under the umbrella of adoption agencies terminated. Hosting programs that bring harder-to-place waiting children to America for the purpose of advocacy that have had nearly 100% success rates in placing those children terminated.

I knew it was coming. That didn’t make it not sting at first read…and keep stinging during second and third reads. Terminated is just harsh, like all of us invested in adoption and orphan care in China found ourselves sitting in a leatherette chair on the vulnerable side of an executive desk and were all just fired. No warm I’m sorry. We need to downsize. Just Pack up your desk. You’re terminated.

Press pause. Stop.

There are people behind this announcement. And, those people, those governing authorities who surely sat around a board table and wrote these words are likely the same ones who labored through writing the new rules for people who want to adopt from China, literally pages of rules about finances and physical and emotional health and family size and length of time between adoptions and ages between children. Those rules aren’t arbitrary; whether or not we agree each one of them, they’re the rules they corporately believe set children up best long term.

The way things have looked for years is going to be different. The 1:1 partnership program with adoption agencies partnering with specific orphanages will stop as of December 31st as will hosting programs and Journey of Hope trips which bring teams of volunteers to China for the specific purpose of advocacy. There is no other information about what the program will look like after December 31st. But, I have no reason to believe that the program won’t be good. It very well could be better.

That word in Mandarin translated to terminated is 停止, tíngzhǐ. It just means stop which somehow makes it easier to read. And, just a few lines later there are other words that speak a whole lot of hope: when agencies work in welfare and charity related activities. When agencies work in social welfare (aka orphanages) and in philanthropic activities, they can’t be for the purpose of adoption. When agencies work in social welfare (aka orphanages) and in philanthropic activities, they have to be genuine acts of charity for charity’s sake. Yes, yes, good.

This announcement is no longer stinging when I read it the fourth and fifth time.

I don’t know what international adoption from China will look like in 2018 except for knowing that it will remain. I haven’t been fired. None of us have been fired. We’ve just been told the business model is changing in a big way. I may look a little dumbfounded, but I’m thanking the boss for letting me know in advance and then I’m respectfully leaving the office, looking around at my coworkers tonight and saying “well, okay then.” We have work to do; let’s figure out how to make sure we can keep on doing it.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption, Advocating, China, The Sparrow Fund

A crotch full of sand

7.18.17

She looks good. Board in hands, tethered to her wrist. She stands and watches, waiting for that wave just like the boys who think they’re men 30 feet down the beach from us. She takes off at full speed, drops her board about 6 feet away from the surf, jumps on it and glides for a whole 6 inches or so. She promptly falls to the side, her dread locked hair sticking to her face, and looks back looking for someone to share her excitement. Which I’m glad to do.

She’s so legit.

Over and over again. Literally hours. Unphased at all by the fact that those boys in board shorts are doing flips while the nose of her board gets stuck in wet sand.

Mama, I have sand in my crotch.

I can see that.

Pulling her suit a tad to the side, I can see that we don’t just have sand in her crotch, we have a small bucket full of sand, essentially stuck there due to the fact a fatal design flaw to leave the crotch lining open in the front. “I know, why don’t we just leave this part open so that there’s actually a built-in sand pocket,” said some insane Target clothing designer somewhere who clearly does not have any young daughters.

While I’m doing my best to turn things inside out and clear out every grain of distraction so that she can get back to her wild world of surfing, I hear some dry commentary from the dry girl in the dry beach chair next to me.

I am never going to do that when I am a mom.

To which I answer with a smile, “Yeah, you will. Just like I am doing now and just like I did for you. That’s what moms do.”

And off she goes, with about 23.4% of the sand removed, unwilling to give up her sport due to some harsh conditions, still looking back for my jaw-drops and thumbs up when she catches the big wave. Which I give every time. That’s what moms do.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: why can't they just stay little forever

Help is here

6.21.17

There’s a book in the Bible called Exodus. It’s all about God’s faithfulness and grace towards a people who didn’t deserve it and His power to do the seemingly impossible. In it, God saves the Israelites from slavery bringing them right through the Red Sea, they wander the desert with God providing manna from heaven to meet their needs, God gives them the ten commandments, and He comes to dwell among them in the tabernacle. It’s kind of a jam-packed book. In chapter 18, Moses takes a breath from it all and has a heart to heart with his father-in-law Jethro. Moses tells him all the good stuff that’s been happening, all the things worthy of celebrating, the stories he never imagined he’d be able to tell. He also tells him all the challenges they’ve faced along the way and where they’ve seen great victory and where they hope to see victory still. Jethro listens and affirms and encourages…and then he challenges.

Why are you doing this all alone? You’re going to wear yourself out and if you do, what will happen to the people you serve? Moses, this job is too heavy a burden for you to try to handle all by yourself.

Here in our little corner of a suburb of Philadelphia, in our brand new office, that’s the message we heard. We need some help to both carry our burden and increase our capacity for whatever burden God trusts us with.

Last week, help arrived pulling a U-Haul trailer with Texas plates.

When our favorite physical therapists weren’t able to make our orphanage team trip this past October (new babies have a way of affecting plans), I told them I understood entirely…and that they’d have to recruit two doctors to take their place. Fortunately, they were happy to do that. One of those doctors was Erin. They told me she was faithful, mission minded, an excellent pediatric physical therapist in Texas for over 6 years, and delightful. They knew she’d been feeling a nudge for something but she didn’t know what. China was never on her “bucket list,” but she was willing to go. They told me this was the perfect trip for her, that it would meet our need and Erin’s as well. They were right.

The October orphanage trip moved her profoundly. That place she had never been particularly drawn to now captivated her. She was overwhelmed by how hard the staff worked in attempts to meet the needs of the children. She was humbled by their servant heartedness to do this work for years on end with little to no recognition. She was astounded by the resilience of the children to overcome. Life changed for her in the biggest city no one has ever heard of west of Xi’an. A second trip with us to a new orphanage in South China only a couple months later sealed the deal for her and for us.

A few weeks ago, Erin finished her last day practicing physical therapy in Forth Worth, Texas and started packing up her bags. Last week, she packed those bags into a trailer with her little dog Calvin by her side and started the journey to the Northeast.

While practicing physical therapy privately here part time, she’s going to help us as we seek to support adoptive families and children without families and their caregivers as well as seek out and pursue growth opportunities to do all that fuller and better. It’s such a good thing, people, to have help and not just any help but her help. She gets it, and she can bring something to the table that we couldn’t bring. I’m already feeling a bit of the burden lifting.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: The Sparrow Fund

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