Adoption Journey: Part 4

There we were. A family of 5. Living the all American dream, I guess. But, there was something we just couldn’t let go of. God had brought us to the place that we were ready to adopt. And, I just couldn’t let that go.

But, Mark thought he could. It wasn’t adoption Mark had the issue with–it was 4 kids. He loved our 3, but he would have been fine to stop at 2. Four kids meant crossing over from the realm of normal to the realm of “are all those kids yours?” It meant more chaos, more noise, more money, more stress.

There was an adoption conference in our area when Drew was only a couple months old. Mark honored me, and we went to it. We sat in the back with our infant and listened from a distance. We took notes, went to breakout sessions, and then left a bit early, blaming our little guy.

A couple weeks later, we got a handwritten letter in the mail from Jason Weber who had been the speaker at the event. I laughed aloud when I read it.

Dear Mark & Kelly, 
Hello! We were glad you were able to come last Saturday to the If You Were Mine workshop!! I just had to write to let you know of the very unlikely events that transpired.
Before one of the afternoon sessions, we drew for the church orphan ministry starter pack and, Mark, we drew your name. Because you were unable to be there, we said we would recall your name at the beginning of the last session and if you were not there, we would draw another name. So, as we promised, at the beginning of the last session, we called your name once more and then drew (from a pretty large number of entries) once again. You’ll never guess who we drew this time! Yes, it was you, Kelly. When we announced your name, the audience was adamant that it was God’s will for you to have this kit. In fact, they voted unanimously to have it sent to you. 
So, we don’t know what God is up to but we are sending your kit and you should have it very soon. May you be greatly blessed!!
In Him, Jason Weber

I told Mark it was a sign. He still thought I was crazy. So, we had a lot of books about adoption now….and?…we also had a nursing baby…and a 2 year old and a 4 year old, a very challenging 4 year old.

I remembered the dream I had had years earlier–the dream about an Asian girl when I had wanted a Russian boy. Everything seemed to make sense.

I tried convincing him. I tried showing him websites related to adoption, pictures of children who moved my heart. I talked about it…a lot. And, then I remembered the lesson God taught me about 5 years earlier. So, I let it go.

Lord, change my heart or change his. Move in him to make him feel a desire to do this, or remove the desire from my heart to grow our family through adoption. 

I stopped initiating conversation about it, stopped emailing, stopped trying to make it work. If adoption came up in conversation somehow, I’d engage but not push. I just kept praying.

On Drew’s first birthday, March 29th, 2007, Mark walked in the back door into the kitchen where I was preparing dinner, and everything changed.

“We need to do it. If we don’t do it now, I think we’d be disobedient.”

“What? Do what?”

“I think we should adopt. And, I think we should start it now.”

Just like that, 2 1/2 years after I dreamed of her, we were adopting our daughter from China.