My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Their words, their hearts

That’s Gabby with one of her brothers. She’s been home one year. And, she is really something amazing.

Her mom blogged today about sweet Gabby’s heart, the heart of an orphan no more, a sweet daughter who knows the pain of being without a family and who aches for those who still live with that pain. 
She saw some pictures of some children still waiting on her computer, children from her own orphanage who she knew not long ago. These children will soon “age out,” meaning that they will turn 14 and no longer be eligible for adoption. 
You know how Gabby responded to that? 
She cried. 
She’s headed back to China next year and will visit the orphanage where she once lived and the children still there. And, she wants to love on them and plans to tell them about Jesus. But, she felt so very small and told her mama, “But I’m too little. No one will listen to me.” To which, my friend Branda replied that that’s not what God says (1 Tim 4:12).

That’s Christina. She lives in Texas now but was born in Wuhan, Hubei Province where she lived in a foster home with her best friend and the only sister she ever knew. That’s the little girl beside her in purple, who is about 3-3 1/2 now, who she calls “All All.” 
Everyday, Christina asks her mommy and daddy about her sister. “I sad; I want to see All All.” 
She loves her family and is loved by them beyond measure. But, she longs for the one person she could count on when all else was unpredictable. They know All All was matched with another family. But, where she lives now and who this family is remains a mystery. And, Christina’s heart is heavy in a way a  child’s heart should not feel. 

On vacation at the beach last week, I read a few books; I’m a reader. One of them was An-Ya and Her Diary, Diane Rene Christian’s (an adoptive mom of 2 girls from China) debut novel.

It’s fiction–not her daughter’s stories or any one girl’s story–yet, An-ya, a girl adopted from China at school age, completely came to life to me in a way that I wasn’t expecting. Her struggle to fit in, her anger and grief, her strained relationship with her adoptive mother and her questions about her first mother, her getting her first period and not knowing what to do, her parents clear efforts to walk her through her trauma and help her be the young girl she didn’t get to be, her memories of the children who lived with her in the orphanage in China, her desire to find the young girl with albinism she basically mothered though imperfectly when they lived together there…

Reading Diane’s words–An-ya’s diary entries–words like “I never imagined that being adopted was going to mean so much work” and words like “So you think we are lucky? You think we are lucky to not know anything about who our family was before now? How does that make us lucky?”–and beginning to grasp what may be the experience for children like Gabby and like Christina is enough to make your soul ache.

Read Gabby’s words, words that her mom is going to share regularly on her blog. Help her to know she has a voice. 

If you know folks who have adopted from China, share Christina’s picture with her precious sister and friend All All. Help her find All All and keep healing from her loss. 
Such doable ways to enter into their suffering and serve. 

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Comments

  1. THank you Kelly! I told Gabby the world was going to listen to her now and her eyes lit up! I can’t wait to hear what she shares :)

  2. It was voices like Gabby & Christina’s that I read about and listened to over and over as I wrote ‘An-Ya and Her Diary’. Their losses are piercing. Their bravery is inspiring. Kelly- Thank you for sharing their stories and for including my novel in this post. A writer & friend emailed me today and wrote – “The characters in An-ya stay with me, and I think about them all the time. You have created characters that walk off the page.” I can only pray that more readers will feel this same sentiment. Thank you Kelly for sharing how An-Ya has moved you. My heartfelt best to Gabby & Christina and their families as they move forward.

    Diane
    dianerchristian.com

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