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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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A Public Identity Crisis

9.20.11

Sunday afternoons = Zhong wen afternoons. 

2 hours of Chinese language are now accompanied by an hour of traditional Chinese dance. Ashlyn, meet fan dancing. Fan dancing, meet Ashlyn. The two will never be the same.

We’ve only met twice so far. And, yes, “we” because I’m full in.

We’ve done the greetings (Ni hao! Ni Hao Ma?). We’ve done some introduction (Ni ji sui?). This week, we also reviewed, “Where are you from?” or “What is your nationality?” Lao Shi (teacher) had the children repeat, “I am American.” No brainer for Ashlyn. Wo shi Mei guo ren.

But, there’s a little girl in her class who was adopted from China.

When it was time to practice with a friend, Ashlyn and Sweet Little Girl came over to me for help (more like facilitation since my Chinese is, well, lacking). Ni shi na guo ren? Sweet Little Girl was quiet. She just looked at me.

“Do you know what to say?” Sweet Little Girl was quiet.
“Do you want to say, ‘I’m American.’ or ‘I’m Chinese.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you could say either one. You are American. But, you are also Chinese. You can decide which one you want to say.”

Still quiet.

Another child came up to practice, and Ashlyn moved on to conversation with him. Sweet Little Girl just stayed next to me listening to them.

“I want to say I’m Chinese.”

I pulled Ashlyn back over. Ni shi na guo ren?
Go ahead, Sweet Little Girl, a little coaching, then “Wo shi Zhong guo ren.”

The class sat back down, and Lao Shi asked each one questions they had to answer aloud.

She got to Sweet Little Girl. Ni shi na guo ren? Quiet. Ni shi na guo ren? Quiet. She started to coach her to say, “I’m American.”

I spoke up, “No, no, she wants to say she’s Chinese.” Oh. Oh, okay.

And, Sweet Little Girl told her, “Wo shi Zhong guo ren.”

And, then the teacher moved on to the next child.

No related posts.

Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: adoption

Comments

  1. Football and Fried Rice says

    9.20.11 at 3:52 am

    THATS sweet :)

  2. Jenn says

    9.20.11 at 1:20 pm

    Oh my. Something about this breaks my heart! I so want to “do it right” for my Karleigh Mei!

    Maybe she could have said, “I am Chinese American” so that she wouldn’t have to make a choice? Separating them may have been confusing to her. :)

  3. Heather says

    9.22.11 at 1:13 am

    First, I’ve GOT to get back into Mandarin classes with a tutor or something. I enjoyed being able to speak in sentences and say things!

    Second, GO ASHLYN!!!! We are kindred spirits I tell ya!

    Third, Glad sweet little girl wants to be who she is and is figuring that out. She doesn’t have to separate the two. Although, I think Jake thinks he is more Chinese than American as he tells EVERYONE “I’m Chinese!” instead of telling people his name when they ask! Hope sweet little girl is super proud of who she is!!!!

  4. Sis says

    9.22.11 at 12:35 pm

    SO precious. this post illustrates so many things I think. the conflict of identity, but also the pride. cant wait to see pics of the fan classes. you are such an amazing mom!

    Sis
    http://adoption-thecrookedroad.blogspot.com

  5. Adoption Mama says

    9.23.11 at 3:28 pm

    Sweet. Identity is so important, especially when they meet those teen years.

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